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make_change · Feb 9, 2021

Wade W. Wilson said: ↑

Yeah, it was one of my biggest challenges. Start from trying to be mindful and see if you can count how many times you check out women. Also, what helps it looking at women in a more humanizing way, what I mean is that when we ogle with objectify them and see them more as objects, "oh look at her ass" or "oh look at her boob". Try to look at them as someone's mother, sister, daughter, wife. It's not easy and it will take time. Also, what helped me is to develop a strong connection with my wife. I always found my wife attractive, from the first moment I saw her I thought she was out of my league and couldn't believe I was dating her. However, I checked out pretty quickly and started looking at other women, but didn't want to let her go, fear of being lonely. When I started my recovery and more time passed and clearer my mind became, stronger our connection grew, I just start seeing her in a different light. I didn't want anyone else, I didn't care about anyone else, I still notice women and I recognize who is attractive and who I would've ogled in the past but I don't get the same feeling as used to get, that urge to look, the desire to ogle.

I hope it answers your question if you have any more questions you are more than welcome to ask. Good luck and stay strong.
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Thanks man.

make_change · Feb 9, 2021

The practice of Lowering your gaze. Once you have noticed the person/woman look away and carry on with your business, do not steer. Sometimes I look towards the ground or the steps im taking while walking on the street. It takes practice but works wonders! Two looks is the most I give my self if needed for a few secs.

FrenchOliver · Feb 10, 2021

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