The Stereotypical Male

It's difficult to comment on the conversation you had prior to this, but I agree 100% with what you say here.

I think "being the nice guy" is used in a derogatory kind of way similar to the more modern notion of "simping". What they're referring to is simply a man who will do any- and everything for a woman, to the point where it's just dumb and harmful to his dignity. It can also cause others to take advantage of you, exploit you, step on you, etc. I guess at some point we've all been so in love with someone that we made absolute fools of ourselves in the pursuit of that person. Looking back, we often regret being so stupid and blinded by love. But of course you're supposed to treat women with respect and kindness. Just know your own worth and don't bend over backwards for anyone.
A good example of a respectful, nice guy alpha male that immediately comes to mind is Dwayne Johnson. He openly shows that he has a big heart, is full of empathy, love, kindness, respect, humbleness, etc. But I don't think anyone will try and take advantage of his kindness because he's also an absolute alpha beast and a tough guy that you don't wanna rub the wrong way.

 

Nice and respect is earnt, consideration to not being hurtful is given.

The rest is bs.

 

Nothing is wrong with being a kind natured person. It's just that with "nice guys" they reach a point where it exceeds the social norm & obviously want something in exchange for their kindness. People hate "nice guys" cause the guys who use that tactic are low-value men in the first place & kindness with an ulterior motive is just deception.

 

Study them and ACT towards becoming like them

 

In an ideal world this should be the stereotype of men

 

Gender normative claims are completely meaningless to me. I see no reason that any person should prescribe any other person to dress or behave a certain way unless it endows them with personal satisfaction or accomplishes some practical goal. Personal satisfaction doesn't do it for me, and whatever practical goal gender normative claims fulfill, I have yet to witness.

 

Our culture nowadays is filled with stupid people who think they are clearly superior because they act tough, forget that. A man should be nice, confident & respectful with no shame.
Then you have those guys who will say you're a simp because you do a nice complement to a girl. Like real men never did that past centuries...

Those "alpha male" usually are just egocentric toxic men with lots of pride, "haha you're a virgin and i already banged 30 girls!!". And that moves a lot of young / old guys into thinking in order for you to be a real man you need to be like those "alphas" and gurus online. Ridiculous.

In my case, i stopped giving a shit about those labels. In the end they mean nothing.
I believe that guys should not behave like girls do usually by nature, learn with those guys who you feel are doing the right thing, it can be either your father, grandfather or someone else, i don't recommend looking at movies neither internet opinions to figure out on how you should be. Imo they transmit by far the worst ideas on how men should be.

 

No problem, just do you.

 

I had many inner battles about "Being a man" or "Being an alpha" when I was more insecure, but, in the end, I realized it doesn't matter. Why? Because anyone can tell you, despite what you've accomplished, that you are a wimp, or that you're worth nothing.
You talked about "Alphas", but people that may be labeled as such by some may also be labeled as "Meatheads" by others. According to X you could be a "Well mannered person", while to Y you could be a "Wimpy soyboy". In italian we say "È impossibile prendere da tutte le parti", which can be traslated as "It's impossible to be right according to everyone".
First of all, you should think about what it is that you want from yourself, and then act accordingly. I, personally, do as I please, and I am fairly happy with my condition. The only times I compromise is when there is something important at stake or when close friends and family members may be upset by what I do.

 

Lots of great advice on this thread. If you don't fulfil some particular woman's idea of what a man should be like, don't sweat it - you were never going to be the man for her, and it's better to learn that now than after ten unhappy years together. Pretending to be what you aren't will only attract women you aren't suited to. Which might seem like fun, but it's a dangerous game to play. And so much better to be the BEST VERSI0N of yourself and attract women that are ideally suited to you as well.

 

And the legends say he became an alpha when he stopped giving a fuck about being considered an alpha...

 

Wise words

 

Being a “nice guy” is synonymous with being a pushover. They get made fun of because they’re weak, and they don’t stand for anything. They’re conniving flip-floppers more than a politician, and they have as strong a backbone as one.

Contrast that with a good guy, who doesn’t act as a brutish jerk, but stands for his beliefs. If you want inspiration for male figures, look at our religious founders or our activists. Jesus Christ, the Buddha, MLK, Gandhi, etc. They were all kind, but they weren’t expecting anything in return other than what they asked for. They also don’t care about what characteristics or stereotypes make them a man, but what characteristics make them good.

People just get the two mixed up. Nice guys are kind because they expect a reward, not because it’s their true belief, and therefore they should be romantically avoided.