Escort challenge

You’ll be ok, I’m sure there’s some ladies out there for you.They out there bro, keep tough, escorts are my favorite drug as well. It’s just that they are people, it’s odd I know cause it’s like you want that body, and they want that money and it’s like a mutual deal but I’ve had a lot of sadness from it. Let’s rewire your brain. Get back to normal. Or give it a fair chance? You have my support.

I been thinking a lot about my last mess up last week. Gosh it bothers me. If anyone prays please say one for me. I would appreciate it and I’ll pray for y’all as well!

 

The alcohol struggle is real. I have been exploring quitting and cutting back and my best streaks are in January where I wont drink the whole month.

Overall I am drinking way less than a couple years ago, but cant fully kick it.

1) Quit drinking, focus on this bad habit --> more sex addiction habits filling the void.
2) Drink, leads to bad decisions, feel shit the next day --> PMO to feel better and get that dopamine up.

Tough. I am trying to slowly cut down on all bad habits (drinking, porn, pot) over time, rather than cold turkey all at once, or cold turkey for one that leads me to binge on another. Hoping at one point to not have the habits at all, or very little that it doesnt mess with my life.

 

Hey all

Just checking in as haven’t been in here for a while.

There has been some interesting posts and lots of very similar characteristics in all of us.

Triggers mean we try to get quick fixes of dopamine and the easiest way to an IRL high is E. Its real, but it’s ultimately not. It’s a soulless experience on the whole. For me, I never went to see an escort for sex, it was about living out my kinks and fantasies and any E that would oblige or fake some sort of interest would get me high very quickly. But nearly all of my experiences left me drained mentally and the sense of guilt and shame over whelming.

Learn and understand what you’re triggers are and work on them, that’s the most important thing. Do other things that will you live a healthier lifestyle. Work out, join some groups or sports teams. Change up. It’s important. We weren’t born like this so we can turn the tide.

 

Just re-reading this thread I wanna put on record that I'm so proud that you did this @Kowe - I don't under-estimate how difficult it was to cancel a booking that your addicted brain wants so badly.
People, what we have witnessed here is a small miracle. Right before our eyes you have created one small step towards recovery, you changed your behaviour DESPITE the addiction telling you to act otherwise. Every single member of this thread, every member of this site (and there are many, from all over the world) is trying to do what you just did.
Bathe in that glory, share your pride, remember the positive reinforcement and use it again and again to beat back the enemy.
Well done sir.
PS we made our deal on the 6th Feb and yes, I've stuck to my side too.

 

I am not doing well

guys I don’t wanna say what

but I fucked up, and I feel bad

because some of you look up to me.

The trigger was probably the holiday yesterday and weather was very bad and
you can’t do much. I just don’t get it.

Im sorry to everyone and to you Lord.

 

We’re all In this together mate. We might fall but we will all rise together.

chin up

 

Thankyou man!

 

Hey buddy, sorry to hear you are not doing well. Don't worry about how we could see you now. A relapse doesn't diminish your worth nor your effort. It's part of the process. As long as you get back up and keep going. Never give up. We can leave it all behind, yeah. Stay strong, get well, stay safe.

 

Was tempted as hell today. I ended up messaging the worker who cancelled on me last time. Turns out she was working. I walked up to her house and the only thing that stopped me pulling the trigger was I saw a guy outside the neighbouring house on his smart phone. It was enough to put me off/make me afraid of being caught out.

But I need it guys. I wish I could say I won't be back etc...

So I think sometime this week I'll make a booking.

 

Thanks man. But I don't think I can make it through this week. I just need the pleasure of the flesh damn it.

 

Wanted to say something.


Well I met a escort again. And had a blast. I know, it’s all so contrary to everything in this thread about quitting.
I been struggling a lot these few days not doing anything really with myself. I been down, depressed unhappy. I been screwed over by some. And then I met this lady. I’m not sure but she wasn’t like the others. She was like the most bubbly kind of girl you could meet. I don’t want to say all the details but this wasn’t like any other time I’d had. I don’t feel bad about it.
This is probably a 1 in a million. Cause we all know how shady the business is, how shady the people are. But this girl had something about her. I’m done now though. Like I feel I got what I was looking for when I first wanted to see escorts. A good time with no pressure. Anyhow I’m single. If I was married or something that would be a different story. That wouldn’t be ok unless they were ok with it.


Anyways I wanted to share this. I feel good. But it’s time for me to move forward with my life. Cause this is definitely a bad addiction for many and has been for myself. I don’t know why things happen the way they do.

So ok back to nofap now. No more seeing escorts for the rest of 2021. I had my fun, time to move on.
Let’s do this!!!

 

Seems like you belong to those guys who can control it. And as it helps you to stay sane ... why bother? Not all have to stop paying for sex hehe. So, don't worry too much and have fun.

 

Evening mate

It’s a long road for all of us. It has many twists and turns and ups and downs.

Try and make sure that is a point you can look back on and think ‘yeah I felt good but ultimately it was a soulless experience’ and move forward without that need to fix a buzz.

I think you’ve acknowledged that already in your last paragraph as well.

Onwards mate

 

I can control it way better now. But it’s still one of my vices.
She was like the 1 in a million I would say.
I’m not going to pay for anymore this year.
Because most ladies don’t really take care of you. I don’t wanna deal with all that and
I’m a thrifty person in general so I’ll just save my money.


Maybe we’ll keep in touch maybe no idk? Maybe next time i check to see if she is ok she may have an bad attitude or who knows?
I’m not the guy who needs them to stay sane.
Do I have issues? Of course, do I understand why or whats going on with me?No, I’m a pretty confused person in this whole matter really.
I pray to God for help.



But overall
I think I got what I wanted and am through. I mean a girlfriend would be what I really am needing. Since for me I haven’t ever had one.

 

I’m moving forward! Ups and downs and forward. I’m not sure it would be soulless though. Maybe the act cause I paid her.


But yep, I gotta move on.
Thanks for feedback!

 

It might not be soulless to you and that’s fair. Everyone’s ways of dealing with situations are different and see situations in different ways.

But like you say, you want a GF, which is meaningful. I think everyone would agree with that and seeing E is just papering over cracks.

 

yes, a GF fo sho!

 

Glad to hear from you! Thanks for your update! Hope you keep us updated brother!

 

Saw an escort today. Have no guilt about it. It needed to be done.

Planning to keep this habit down to about once every month or so to keep it under control.