Becoming the writer I want to be

No. I live in TN, but we had a bad ice storm up here.

 

No water and I've been letting myself be lazy. That's going to stop now. I've got time so I'm going to make myself get back at it.

If I ever write a book again, I'm going to write new text almost every day. Then I'll edit that sessions stuff. Later that day I'll go over the last two days writings and keep moving forward. One more edit session every couple of weeks and it will be a good draft.

I wasn't able to do that this go around. I lacked the skill in every phase of the process. It's gotten much better.

Editing endlessly is demotivating. This book matches my vision of a good book, so I'm comfortable this will find if there is a market for my crap lol. I'd enjoy writing another book so maybe I would in the background of other goals.

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I got 5+ hours in. I got through 21 pages of text. It required a light edit, so that was a very fast pace for me.

So far in the 2nd half I've cut one scene. I get impatient and want the books pace to be fast at that point, but i may need to add it back in. I need a steady development of that subplot too.

 

1311 words today. Really gonna try and push myself to get this chapter done by the end of the week, unless its absolutely impossible.

 

I wrote two non-haiku poems over the weekend and even got some work started on my next article. I'm hoping to work on my novel sometime this week and let that be the focus for March since I probably won't get a lot of work done on it between now and next week.

Regardless, how are everyone's projects coming along?

 

I just started chapter 20 of 39. I'm really starting to feel the books length and I would be lying if I said pushing myself to write so much everyday isnt becoming arduous. What is keeping me going is the knowledge that all the slow burning buildup is leading to spectacular payoffs that will make it worth it, but actually writing these slow talky sections isnt the most exciting thing in the world. Finding a balancing act between being concise and teasing out plot developments and deep lore is also more difficult than I thought it would be, but I think I have settled on a process for that that works.

Thankfully, this current chapter should be a fairly easy write and the next chapter is very short, and could easily be finished in two or three days. Once those two are done I'll be taking my mid-act hiatus, where I will take a week or maybe more off from working. When I come back we are straight into more interesting material, so that should be more engaging to complete.

 

Maybe after you complete the second book, you should take a break for about a month or so to get a major rest and not let the burnout get to you. I'd want you to feel okay and be ready to write the third book without it feeling like more of a chore and not a fun project you know?

 

I'm still trying to close the 1st book out and start querying. The 1st half section of about 40k words is done.

I'm only 21 pages into the second half. it's currently about 40k words as well right now. I know the last 1/4 of the book rough and will need small scenes added.

I'm glad too see the progress everyone is making.

 

Sounds to me like you are making good progress! Make sure you take the time to relax and avoid burnout. I am finding more and more that not working is just as vital as actually working, to maintain a good work/life balance.

 

Yes, while I am writing both books back to back, I am planning on taking at least a month off between the end of book 2 and the start of book 3. I am also taking mid-mid act breaks of at least a week and mid act breaks of at least 2 weeks. I'm trying to have it so I have book 2 finished or close enough to it by the time Summer rolls around so I dont feel obligated to sit inside all day when the weather finally improves. Looking at sometime in late May-June, or July at a push.

Thank you very much for the concern! Its appreciated!

 

1369 words today. Pleased to say the less interesting expositional part of the chapter is done, all that remains is the fun stuff.

 

Writing haikus and working on my next article this morning. Gonna send those chapters to Atomic today as well.

 

Almost seemed like this day would be a bust. Had an altercation with my family that stressed me out to the point I felt like I was having a panic attack, and as such struggled to get in the right headspace to work for most of the morning. Thankfully, I managed to push on and get 1231 words done. Less than I wanted, but I did also have to stop earlier than usual, and I did get the section I wanted to get done done, so all's well that ends well. I suppose.

 

Are you doing okay man? I hope that you're not shaken up much and that you'll get through this.

 

Thank you very much for the concern. I am feeling better now but theres still some of the lingering anxiety (plus the headaches that follow.)

Basically, I have a very minor health issue I would like seeing to, and to facilitate that I got up a little earlier than usual to make some phone calls. The phone calls went nowhere, and I made no progress, which was frustrating but acceptable, we are in a pandemic after all, and like I said, my issue is minor. Plus, if it ever got to the point it wasn't minor, I have avenues to pursue to help myself. I'm not completely impotent. I was more than happy to just shrug my shoulders and say "Well, guess I can try again later," and while I was frustrated for being on hold for so long, it didn't bother me all too much.

But when I talk to my parents about it, they just wont accept my actions or my rationale for any of them, and start instigating what I know by now will turn into a full blown argument. I openly say "Hey so I dont want to discuss this now, it stresses me out, dont ruin my mood please," and of course they dont listen to me, and keep going on and on and on and on about various things related to this topic, until I eventually get pissed off and the argument begins. Got me feeling extremely panicked and stressed because medical talk is almost a phobia for me, and my parents, especially my mother, have bedside manners that never fail to make me feel worse. Later on I try to offer an olive branch to my mother, and rather than just see what I'm trying to do (which is not apologise, but at least try to move on for the sake of the mood in the house) and go along with it, she acts like she is the one who I wronged, and not the other way around.

I didn't expect to write so much here but idk man, I want to say this is a rare occurrence but its not. I admit I have a short temper but I'm not a monk, I dont understand how else I am expected to react when I'm dragged kicking and screaming into another stupid argument for no reason where nothing I say is listened to or understood and the other person is borderline incapable of not constantly sounding like they are trying to antagonise me on purpose. Apparently because I dont agree with my mothers OTT way of doing things that require jumping to action RIGHT THIS SECOND it means I'm "pathetic." And when I take issue with this ridiculous overreaction I get called a liar for saying I was called pathetic, because what she actually said was "This thing you do is pathetic," as though theres any fucking practical difference between those two things. She speaks without thinking, talks utter nonsense, and then ties herself into a pretzel to get out of having to take responsibility for the stupid shit she says. Its honestly insufferable.

 

Family stuff can be tough. Even though my mom lives near me so I can be the one to take care of her (because she has burned every other bridge) she still says that kind of hurtful crap on purpose. Parents aren't supposed to be like that.

If it's like my deal, it will never go away and it's not your fault.

Good luck my brother. Stay strong. When they try to make you feel like the crazy one, don't buy it.

The benefit is you can be passionate about showing kindness and building others up.

Another silver lining is that writing is like standup comedy.... Most people who are good at it are close friends with pain. Nobody wants that friendship but it does offer unique perspectives lol.

 

I'm sick of editing, so I did a final edit of my query letter. I know it's the exact same thing I was procrastinating but it felt refreshing lol.

Then I moved onto spending several hours of looking at agents and building a spreadsheet.

I'm sick and I worked a full day. I know I'm overdoing it, but it all needs to be done at some point. I'm still shooting for my unattainable goal of querying in early March.

Yesterday I matched Mondays productivity. Which means I had forty great minutes followed by hours grinding. I now love the first 53k words of the book.

I currently only have 76k words total and 80-90k seems to be the consensus target for a thriller. The lowest recent published word count I've seen was 80k so it looks like a realistic range.

I had a few different scenes clipped out that I had planned to add back in, but the book is better without them. I'm ignoring the wordcount issue for now lol. I'll see where it shakes out when I'm done with the edit.

 

I fear this will happen at some point with my family. Even now I hate to sound so harsh but my mother acts more like a child than an actual child. There was a point a while ago when I realised that everything she criticised others for doing she did herself, and she was just projecting. This isnt to say I dont act badly because I do, but once that clicked, it all made sense.

I've had my dad always bring up the book in the context of making money, but at least that is a positive thing and at least he also understands I'm mainly writing it as a creative endeavour. My mother and sister dont say much about it but use it as ammunition against me when we argue. Seems like a common thing for them to do is resort to personal attacks once they realise they cant argue the actual point.

Be careful with this my friend. It may be tempting to keep pushing and pushing but you may be doing too much and running the risk of serious burnout which will end up delaying you anyway. Theres a fine line between discipline and being OTT.

 

997 words today. Well on track to be done with the chapter tomorrow.

 

I appreciate you taking the time to explain this to me. I hope things get better with your family and yourself. If there's anything I can do for you, let me know friend. :3

Also, not a whole lot of writing done this morning because I'm sore as a used crossbow.

 

Thank you, I appreciate just having someone to listen to me ranting to be honest.