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married but lonely

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Feb 21, 2021.

  1. I'm married. At work I don't really interact with coworkers because Im very introverted (which facilitates my masturbation addiction). Now that I am committed on stopping my gap addiction, I do want to establish new friendships with fellow former (or current) fappers.
     
  2. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    Hello Rendition

    Welcome to the forums, best of luck on your journey.

    You said you are married but still lonely, what is the relationship like with you wife if you don't mind me asking. How long have you been married? Any children? Any friends outside of work or your marriage? How has covid impacted you.

    Would be good to hear a little more about you.
     
    bloudermilk24 likes this.
  3. May I PM you?
     
  4. greatvortex

    greatvortex Fapstronaut

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    Hope Deysonn can provide you with the upmost support :)
     
  5. thanks!
     
  6. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    Hi, you can definitely send me a private message.

    Hope you are doing well!
     
    bloudermilk24 likes this.
  7. MexFighter

    MexFighter Fapstronaut

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    Hi, I understand about your shayness but you have the best ally sleeping next to you.. Does your wife doesn't know about your addiction? Like, the past struggle and the current consume? Well.. My best advice is confession. You need to talk with her about it... Idk your story but if she married you without knowing about your addiction then she deserves to know the truth now and then, after talk to her, look for profesional help...
    You know this is a lifelong commitment.. we will be addicts till the last day so she needs to know how big this can be..I think is great you're trying to fight by your own but NO ADDICT to any drug has ever gotten sober alone. NO ONE. In fact confession, accountability, sponsorship, AP is the foundation of AA (The 12 steps) so please talk to her..
    I wish you the best!
     
    luckydog likes this.
  8. Highlander01

    Highlander01 Fapstronaut

    Keep working at it, I’m an introvert at core too but it has NEVER served me well. I’ve learned that meaningful interaction can only come when porn is put away for good. I’m working on that and you can too. The most basic social situations are very difficult if ones brain is porn wired. Took me a long time to realize and it’s what I work to avoid the most
     
  9. Lovelife247

    Lovelife247 Fapstronaut

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  10. Highlander01

    Highlander01 Fapstronaut

    With regards to PMO, great, no slip ups. I’m convinced the rest will follow with continued abstinence. I do know how easy it is to be tricked back into the vortex though so have to keep guard up. Thanks for asking
     
    Lovelife247 likes this.
  11. kal33

    kal33 New Fapstronaut

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    I’m new here as well, I also feel lonely in my journey, I was constantly watching porn and when my gf found out she dumped me on the spot, I feel immense guilt and here I am trying to get better, I’ve been in the nofap mindset since she dumped me but I didn’t know it was an actual term until recently
     
  12. Inloverber

    Inloverber Fapstronaut

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    You are married and you are lonely? What makes you lonely? It would be nice to start being open and close first to your partner. Most of the time, he/she will be the one to guide and support you as you go along and face more challenges in your life.
     
  13. luckydog

    luckydog Fapstronaut

    Hi @rendition I hear you. Married for 20+ years, you have your best ally right next to you, and your pornography addiction has impacted your marriage whether you accept it or not. The sexual energy put into porn and masturbation should have been used to enrich your marriage has only made you feel better but at a high price. Thus you have arrived at the same conclusion we others have here - that it isn't worth it, there's got to be a better way.

    You cannot do this alone, @MexFighter has nailed it. You need accountability with a real live person, you need conversations with people who care about you (a close friend, your spouse, and perhaps a therapist), you need a community to share with (nofap.com has group sessions, try it out, they are very helpful and not expensive).
     

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