masturbation buddy

Lemme say this is completely riciculous.

 

"I want to quit fapping. To accomplish that, I will fap. But wait! With another guy - so it doesn't count right? Is it gay?"

 

This would have been clearly a bad thing 10-20 years ago, its very concerning that in modern days these things are escalating more and more. Guys please dont follow the masses, we are living hard times.

 

I am amazed at how many people use Shame based responses. Being judged, feeling judged or perceived judgement raises shame and makes the outcome of what we are doing or trying not to do so loaded. It’s taken many years of therapy and recovery for me to get where I am today. I’ve run into guys that were so obsessed of not doing something that it was taking more time and effort than doing it and figuring out if it has any power. “Failures” are not always bad things if you use it appropriately. Let’s say you find someone and JO together. After a bit do you find it to scratch the itch? Was it as good as you thought? For comparison have a person you can open up to and discuss things verbally, not just by text. Which feels better? Physical touch or true connection? Would you rather masturbate with your buddy or have a talk over how jerking of made you feel with your other buddy? I am part of several groups that use zoom, group text and phone calls. I’ve had several guys want to act out and send pictures to get each other off. I can now, simple say you can go on any app and find a hookup in minutes but there is no app that gives you connection with a understanding and compassionate friend. I can be either but which one are you likely to remember?

 

I don't think anyone is trying to shame him for wanting to try this. I think people are trying to get across that if his goal is to quit porn/masturbation, that this is not an activity that will further his end-goals. If he's inclined to do it, and wants to explore his sexuality this way, go for it. People deserve to find out what they like and don't like.

I, at least, wanted to make clear that he should be honest to himself and not try and frame masturbation with another guy as a way to quit masturbation/porn.

 

Of course they are. Everything is monitored on the internet. Similar to how SAA isn't a dating group, my guess is nofap.com doesn't want to be used as a way to find sexual partners.

In your other thread you said you had a fantasy to give a guy a BJ who looked at porn. Someone else said they shared it and you asked him to DM you. My guess is that private convo did you in.

 

I don't think your conversations are actively monitored. But if a user reports another user, I am sure the mods take a look at the flagged posts. And they can take action. The lesson is don't send something to someone that you don't know for sure they will receive happily.

Meantime, maybe contact the mods about getting your privileges restored? I don't know if they will, or will be able to, respond to you. This is what the contact page says:

"Email [email protected]. Please note that due to the large number of inquiries that we receive, we won’t be able to respond to all of them, but still appreciate hearing your feedback!"

 

We may experience different urges but we should be honest about consequences and do not frame them as something they simply aren't.

 

It is generally a bad idea to ask for a fap-buddy from a nofap-forum.

 

Nah man you're rationalizing a fetish. Having a fap buddy and having a nofap buddy are not the same. Gotta stop trying to fool yourself