The Lord of the Rings Challenge

another day is over. and thank God for that.
today was shit, I don't know what was it about today but all day long I had dirty and nasty thoughts in my head. I was outside of the house all day trying to study and my brain just got fixed on one dirty act i used to PMO to all the time and that was it. and it drove me crazy all day. every girl I looked at today was just some kind of object for sex, looking at my work I was just day dreaming about sex, but in a bad was. not love making but porn. even going on a walk to clear my mind and meditating a little bit did not halp

in the end in the middle of the day I just walked (without my phone) to the bathroom and jerked it to release some pressure. it took me less than a minute and it kind of work.
I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I'm not angry about the masturbation, I'm angry about the thoughts in my head.

 

It's incredible that you've reached three months no-PMO and it is a joy to see someone succeed. I can say without a doubt that the work you're putting in is inspiring to everyone in the forum -- and not only that, I'm sure it's an inspiration to you. To see someone overcome an addiction to PMO and then choose to keep going after three months is fantastic -- but you have to keep in mind that as you said, everything is just beginning for us. Don't become blind to the urges that do come afterwards even if they're quiet now; always be prepared and ready to face what's ahead.

One of the most fascinating effects I've seen in people on this NoFap forum when they reach a month, two months, even three months and beyond is that they seem to like taking responsibility and choose to do things now; it's unbelievable how much change people go through and choose to undergo. It's unbelievable. The biggest benefit I've noticed however is the fact that people choose to respect themselves and then actually develop as people. It's like seeing people change eventually, outright evolve from what they were provided the circumstances and mentalities in their situations are right for that.

Besides the congratulations, I do need to talk to everyone and take this note to myself as well about the implications of the NoFap forums and what they serve to us as a way of getting through our journeys. The cost of quitting P (outright PMO if you're on Hard Mode) is realising that you can't hide from the flaws and issues that we have, whether that's ego, sloth, wrath, and so on because we used porn as a way of hiding from that. It was a way of hiding from the reality of ourselves and our limitations.

Perhaps one of the best things I need to suggest, if not accept myself is to learn to live without NoFap being used as a form of ego. Our journeys in quitting porn are beyond NoFap and inevitably we will all leave and go beyond this forum, once we've reached 500 days. Don't get consumed by thoughts like 'I've made it to 100 Days, I've made it to 250 Days, 300, 400, 500!' because that'll keep you here. It's nice to celebrate that aspect, but eventually, a journey ends -- in the sense of this forum, yes, though the no-porn aspect will continue on. Work to improve your life, most importantly yourself, so much that you don't even look back on PMO. There is a reason why you came here in the first place, remember that reason, remember who you were before all of this and keep going and remember the positive and negative experiences.

I wish you good luck. I believe you can succeed and get to 500 days, but it is you and by extension everyone else who need to believe in themselves of the idea that they will win and destroy their PMO rings. There is a reason why people have gone beyond 90 days, further than us, find that reason for yourselves and go for it.

 

amazing!!!! bravo my friend

 

Try to focus on the work, and more specifically, try to see what else new can you learn from it and do what every you are paid to do! Frustrating coworkers will always exist so try to enjoy your work and enjoy your life.

 

Checking in. Stuck to the plan yesterday and feeling good. Happy Monday!

 

Next time you feel like this go for a long run.It will clear your head of these uninvited guests.

 

Relapsed. Took a break for a while, initially telling myself I just needed some time to think things over. I had my doubts for a time and just kind of kept going day to day. I kept telling myself I'd go back to Nofap sometime "soon" but I kept making the excuse that I had a lot of work to do and no real time. I guess I didn't want to admit to myself and to others that I'd screwed up, so I just pushed it out of my mind. But after drifting day to day, slowly questioning why things weren't changing, and in some cases getting worse, I realized it was time to put my effort back into Nofap. Cause sometime "soon" isn't a time at all. "Now" is a specific time. So I made some changes to my system, putting barriers in place to reduce the likelihood of relapse. But I recognize that it alone is not good enough- one also needs a community of like minded people to help them get through the hardest moments, among other things. I guess the biggest takeaway I made is that its alright to make mistakes and share them w/ others. Everyone is imperfect and no one has all the answers. Anyways, I'm glad to be back w/ you guys and I'm looking forward to making some positive changes.

 

Day 315. Into Mordor we go.

 

Day 7
I feel like it's getting hard to keep a streak eh :/

 

31 days. Almost messed up due to fishing while tired. Staying offline tonight.

 

Day 232

 

Monday check-in

Okay, now the cravings are rearing their ugly head. I caught myself fishing several times today. I even got to the stage where you're rationalizing the decision to use. I think maybe the grace of God held me back from it, as well as remembering how empty, tired, and foggy and unmotivated I feel after PMO. Plus, I currently have the honor of being "tied" with @RiseToGreatness for days free f/ PMO, and I wouldn't want to give that up .

I'm drowsy and my groin and bowls feel clogged. The "Trojan horse" that my addiction has taken to employing in order to get me to reset has been the notion of writing pornographic fiction, something I've shamefully done in the past. It's always the perfect opening line occurring to me, with the adversary whispering, "c'mon, it's not really porn, Onan. It's erotica. It's sexy, tasteful, patrician even." Well, not today. I've given in to that rationalization in the past and it has only ended in demoralizing and enervating porn binges. I thank God I didn't give in today.

I'm going to have to take up running again. I used to be half decent runner, you know .

It's just amazing to me how many of your posts from the last 48 hours resonate with me right now. We could get discouraged if we wanted, or we could take it as a sign that we're all in this together, united in the same struggle.

Onwards to victory!

 

can I ask what is fishing?

 

Day 1 starting from the orc

 

Day 11 complete! Today I woke up feeling the most well-rested, refreshed, and energized I have in a long time. That all dissipated by about 3pm and I felt very drowsy and sluggish, but it could be that I'm making progress.

You've done well to make it to a week! Take heart from that victory. If there wasn't some element of struggle, we wouldn't need NoFap, but we're all here to help you push through!

Fishing is when you're doing things that aren't really] looking at porn, but put you in a compromised position too close to the line. So like, browsing social media and looking at pics of swimsuit models would be a good example. Don't do that!

 

Awesome post! Great to read that you're feeling so good!
You can use this post for a motivational boost whenever you have urges or feel down. You can just look back at the message you posted and it will make you remember that you are stronger than the addiction!
Congratulations man, much love!