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35 and older accountability, Group 2

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by persona2903, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    "working hard to improve the non-sex relationship connections with my wife (and re-build the marriage) "
    Excellent!!
     
    RightEffort likes this.
  2. nonfap

    nonfap Fapstronaut

    "I have read the rules and would like to join this group"

    It looks like this group is full, can I get on the waiting list?
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  3. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Welcome @nonfap, you're in! You can follow the ranking at post #1.
    The custom in our group is that whoever enters introduces himself telling us something about his life and struggles with FAP...
     
  4. nonfap

    nonfap Fapstronaut

    Oh wow, thanks!

    Well. I'd prefer not to get too personal but I'm 41, never married and no kids. I've struggled with PMO for 20+ years.

    At this age I guess I was a part of the worldwide internet porn experiment that happened in the world (I wish I wasn't a part of it but here we are). I found the NoFap site and forums in 2016 and I was very glad. Before that I felt like I was the only one struggling with this and I had no one I felt I could talk about it with.

    I've had limited success over the years staying away from PMO, trying different things. But I've had the most success since 2016 trying to do 90 day reboots and journaling here. I was able to do 2 (maybe 3?) 90+ day streaks and they weren't perfect but they were very good overall and I know I made good and significant progress back then.

    As of this last year, I've basically done horribly. I haven't been trying to track myself and I haven't been journaling or active here.

    I've learned a lot about all this and I'm sure I could learn more. But even with what I've learned I know it can still be very challenging at times. Although, the last few days I've been remembering how great everything was during the times I was doing better. It was amazing really and I want to get back there. I encourage anyone reading this who is in a challenging time to hold on and it will get much better. And if you slip, get back up ASAP and don't stay down.

    I should be posting in my new journal at least twice a week here... https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/2021-nofap-journal.304210/

    Thanks @persona2903 for starting this group and thanks everyone for bringing the group this far.
     
    tonyk1982, CraftyDad and persona2903 like this.
  5. such a great advice - me too the one day at a time is a powerful teaching.

    Also love the words of Jesus to stop worrying about tomorrow. I also resonate with another story of moses i think it was to receive their daily food and they didn't need to save for the next day because each day they would receive a fresh supply.

    This principal has been so helpful for me in terms of temptation as well as finances to trust that my income is not mine but Gods grace coming to me and being spent through me
     
    nonfap and persona2903 like this.
  6. JJones

    JJones Fapstronaut

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    I have had a relapse on 3/5/21
     
    Inspired2chg and persona2903 like this.
  7. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    "People measure themselves not so much by their falls, but by the number of times they get up and the way they do it."
    Go ahead, the best is yet to come!
     
    nonfap and Inspired2chg like this.
  8. Inspired2chg

    Inspired2chg Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys. I’m at 2 days now. I guess I’ve been reluctant to post due to relapses. My longest streak recently has been 9 days.My biggest struggle has been with Twitter lately. All other blockers through iPhone is in place and I even have sensitive content blocked on there. I’ve thought about getting rid of the account. At any rate, I’m going to continue to resist and will post more regularly.
     
    nonfap, CraftyDad and persona2903 like this.
  9. CraftyDad

    CraftyDad Fapstronaut

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    I have also had the issue that as I stopped porn, I found myself looking for it in unexpected places, in a way finding loopholes in my own rules. Setting stricter rules, like "no taking my phone out in the bathroom" or "never disabling the family filter in search results" has helped me catch these situations earlier. Maybe in your case getting rid of twitter might not be a bad idea.
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  10. Brettnrecovery

    Brettnrecovery Fapstronaut

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    So...not sure If this is the right place to post but I have read the rules of the group and would like to join. Is there a waiting list or?
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  11. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 22 - Feeling a bit calmer this Mon/Tues which are normally my trouble days. Now that I'm past the 7 and 14 day hurdles I am hoping to settle into a longer streak. June will be 1 year on NF so if I can get there that will 2 separate four month streaks in my first year and I will be very thankful for that. I'm not one for setting this type of longer term goal but I think as I look towards my one year this might be a good additional motivation.
     
  12. Inspired2chg

    Inspired2chg Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I think so.
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  13. nonfap

    nonfap Fapstronaut

    persona2903 likes this.
  14. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Hi @Brettnrecovery ! To be admitted to the group you have to activate the counter. As soon as you do, we incorporate you (just have a vacancy)!
     
  15. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    @ANewFocus How's it going? I haven't read anything of yours for a few days. Greetings and have a nice day!
     
  16. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for checking on me brother. I am three days into reprioritizing recovery in my life. I am waking up and doing recovery every day or fitting it in to my day, instead of skipping if it is not convenient. I am happier when I am sober and more at peace. I am also more prone to fantasy and that is difficult. But being calmer feels good. I am trying to live one day at a time. Patrick Carnes talks about self care as not over extending ourselves. I do that a lot and I’m trying to come back into what makes me happy in my core.
    I still struggle with my “why” and how I will sustain this momentum. I have a hard time being disciplined.
     
    nonfap likes this.
  17. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Good to read something of yours. I see you very centered and balanced, congratulations and all the encouragement to continue! I have not read much about Patrick Carnes, do you recommend something special about this author?
     
  18. Inspired2chg

    Inspired2chg Fapstronaut

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    This has helped a lot.
     
    CraftyDad and persona2903 like this.
  19. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Carnes is a 12-step focused approach. But his psychological expertise and workbooks about the damage of addictions are helpful no matter what. I use his Facing the Shadows and Recovery Zone workbooks.
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  20. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I’m at the weekend and this is the tough part. I’m trying to ground myself this morning and set myself up for success.

    I tracked my usage from the week before. 7 times I PMOd for a total of 700 minutes. No wonder I’m tired, always feeling short on time, disconnected from my wife, and feeling like I don’t have enough time to relax on my weekends. My PMO was starting to become a part-time job.
     
    persona2903 and Inspired2chg like this.

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