55 days in. Easier but not easy

I'm somewhere around 55 days into hard mode. Considering what a tough ride it's been I guess I'm a little surprised. It got easier around day 37 and has stayed easier but man it's not easy. I've been feeling strange for the past couple of days and think maybe it's withdrawal symptoms but who knows. I'm not tortured by urges but I can still tell there is something missing. The other day I was riding in a van on a hard seat sort of dozing off and had a spontaneous orgasm which surprised me so much I didn't even recognize what had happened at first. I ejaculated a tiny bit too. Crazy. I feel weak and tired today and wonder if it's not from that. The good part is that I feel almost no desire to PMO. Maybe it's a flatline but I haven't been at this long enough to know. I'm going on a day trip/date with a really cute girl who is 17 years younger than me so I guess I'll be able to tell after tomorrow whether it's a flatline or not. I'm sticking to the hard mode total abstinence model so that should take a little pressure off and allow me to enjoy her as a person. I'm in a different city for the week and my tinder blew up which is how I got to experience a big-time trigger. Be careful guys if you're not already. Some of the photos these girls put up are... something else. It's becoming obvious to me how pornofied our society is. Sexual imagery is crammed into almost everything and I hadn't noticed how much of it there is before. I'll take that a sign of my progress. I'm tired of this journey but I'll keep going. I hope everyone here does the same.
Greatest peace and happiness to everyone.

 

Lol good one. I had to put that part in there. Just typing those words helped relieve my withdrawal symptoms

 

Thank you. Good to know. I feel a lot better today. Almost normal whatever that means.

 

Quick update: No flatline and my energy suddenly returned this morning. Don't feel "tired of this journey" now like I did in my previous post. I've had two dates since the first post and both went well. I was able to engage as a person much better than before my current streak. I notice eye contact is much easier. My commitment to 90 full days of hard mode takes a lot of pressure off. "There's plenty of time don't rush it" is what the voice in my head tells me.
Feeling pretty good about life, self control and the possibility of having a loving healthy relationship.
Keep going everyone! Life is already getting better and I'm not even at 90 days yet!!