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35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. bama_lost

    bama_lost Fapstronaut

    Checking in.

    Work has kept me busy the middle part of this week, so not a lot of down time to over think things or get myself in trouble. Trying to keep to a "schedule", but mostly trying to make sure I do the things I need to often, and regularly. The schedule, however, does prevent any down, or wasted, time that I might use unconstructively, or ultimately destructively. But, I also have to keep in mind a balance. Just got to keep plugging at it week after week.
     
    GottaBFree, ctr, JJ_Kino and 2 others like this.
  2. The group is full at the moment, but you have been added to the waiting list. You will need to change your counter goal to no PM or no PMO before you can join, according to the group rules.
     
  3. During my last relapse I discovered a couple of new flavors of porn and so all week my addiction has been saying "Hey man, you gotta give up this nofap stuff so we can go check out this new stuff." I relapsed again after work today but it was not really enjoyable at all and left me feeling awful as usual. Just another reminder that living with P and M is not an option for me. So I am recommitting to the nofap lifestyle and hoping to get out of my slump and make some progress.
     
  4. freewilly

    freewilly Fapstronaut

    thanks for highlighting this, the counter setup was by mistake. Updated it now.
     
    artifact, JJ_Kino and magvor like this.
  5. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
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    Afternoon all. Checking in - it's very nearly the weekend!
     
    NICEDUDE, ctr and JJ_Kino like this.
  6. daryl_zero

    daryl_zero Fapstronaut

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    Checking in.

    I had a relapse today. I have been experimenting with lowering the P restrictions on my devices, on the theory that the restrictions themselves are triggers. This is correct: the restrictions and evading them are, for me, part of an unhealthy cycle. However, I don't think lessening the restrictions is the answer for me. It's just too easy to reset/relapse. I haven't managed more than 3-4 consecutive sober days since this experiment started.

    What I've learned through all this is that I need to be a little more mature in how I approach p blocking. It's just one tool in an arsenal. And if I'm ever in the mindset of "let's check on that blocking software (or firewall, or whatever) and make sure it's working," then I'm lying to myself and I've already lost.

    I have a new, healthy daily routine all ready to go for next week, and I'm ready to take another shot at this.
     
    magvor, GottaBFree and JJ_Kino like this.
  7. Ik2

    Ik2 Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. Had another 3 days of really good productivity at home and at work. Making the days count instead of counting the days as they say. Nothing else to report really, I'm hoping i can keep this mindset going.
     
    NICEDUDE, magvor, ctr and 2 others like this.
  8. jaberwaki

    jaberwaki Fapstronaut

    Checking in. Sleep has been a challenge the past few days so I'm staying aware--tiredness leads to loss of motivation which leads to boredom which leads to fishing which leads to relapse. I have a full weekend planned so there won't be much time to slip, but all the same, staying vigilant!
     
    NICEDUDE, GottaBFree, magvor and 3 others like this.
  9. Rebooter13

    Rebooter13 Fapstronaut

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    Those were some very wise words!


    Actually we were so hi-tech! ;)
     
  10. ctr

    ctr Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to this well. My erratic sleep produced some strong urges these past few days, but I will fight and resist. The flatline is around the corner and I welcome it. Looking forward to summer and the subsiding of this dreadful pandemic. Everyone stay strong, stay busy and keep fighting!
     
  11. lowkeysonly

    lowkeysonly Fapstronaut

    Love the honesty in this group, had a let-down on Saturday, so 3 weekends in a row for me.
     
    NICEDUDE, GottaBFree, ctr and 2 others like this.
  12. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
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    Morning all, checking in. Tired today - busy weekend, not enough rest. Need to stay vigilant!
     
  13. emanuel_free

    emanuel_free Fapstronaut

    Hi there everyone. Hope you're doing well. Just a quick message to check in.

    This las days I've staying focus on my family and working around to be a better me on every area of my life. I think there's a lot of work to do now I can focus on other aspects. Not an easy task but challenging.

    Stay alert! Stay firm! Stay clean!
     
  14. Ik2

    Ik2 Fapstronaut

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    Unfortunately sleep is what just got to me. Or the lack of sleep. Having young kids is tough. Many sleepless nights. My brain just hurts so much after a while. Coffee doesn't help anymore, I take advil & tylenol, still hurts. There was just such a brick inside my head today. I resist temptation after temptation all morning, every hour, every minute even. Until I just can't anymore. Not entirely sure how to resolve this except hopefully sleep more some day.
     
    Rebooter13, magvor, JJ_Kino and 2 others like this.
  15. sjindjin

    sjindjin Fapstronaut

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    Hi all, five weeks for myself today, feeling very good about making it this far and getting a very good streak going. Have not looked at any psubs last 1.5 weeks despite some temptation to do so here and there, and I think for me that is the key to keeping urges in the controllable zone. Next on the horizon is my personal record of 41 days, coming up soon :).
     
  16. ctr

    ctr Fapstronaut

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    It usually does me in as well. So much so that I sometimes plan my days around how well I have or haven't slept. I might spend my entire lunch hour napping and just eat later while I'm working. But with kids, absolutely, it's draining. Don't let it get to you, mate. If we all just keep trying and never give up, we will conquer this thing, and it'll all be well worth it.
     
    lowkeysonly, magvor, JJ_Kino and 2 others like this.
  17. Ik2

    Ik2 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the feedback. I think that's where I went wrong today, I did not take into account how little I had slept. I tried to be as productive as normal, and spent all my willpower in the process. I got a lot done in the morning, and by the afternoon I was a wreck. Will try to be more mindful of this in the future!
     
    ctr, magvor and JJ_Kino like this.
  18. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    I've got to reset my counter again.

    My head's not in a good place to find success right now. Feeling hopeless about defeating PM and relationship issues are leading actually being hopeless.

    Being cocky about my ability to defeat PM is harbinger of defeat. Giving up set me off on some awesome streaks in the past, because I looked at PM and what it did with honesty.

    It appears that something has changed and now losing hope is worse than overconfidence.

    Just shooting to get through the night.
     
    artifact, lowkeysonly, ctr and 3 others like this.
  19. jaberwaki

    jaberwaki Fapstronaut

    Checking in on day 67. This ties my previous streak, and as I've mentioned in the past, even though I've had longer streaks, this is the first streak I can remember where there has been zero fishing. So I'm entering wholly new territory as of today, and I am pumped about it!
    Habits that have been working this week:
    Cold showers, hard-ass yoga, Wim Hoff breathing, endurance exercising, being with friends, checking in here.

    New Habits I am forming:
    Using the Universal Man's Meta-Script Journal method, I'm working on regaining my ability to do deep work. The method centers on honest self talk, and though that's something I tend to do generally this codifies it in a way I think will really help. I'll keep posting on how well I'm meeting this goal (3 hours of deep work a workday). The companion to this goal is to continue working on limiting dopamine drains, particularly from the phone.

    Major Wins:
    I was hanging out with a buddy and he asked how I was doing so well avoiding depression (I'm going through a divorce). And without hesitation I said "Zero porn.", and that lead to a really great discussion about how porn leads to depression and social anxiety, and how I've learned I just can't touch the stuff. He was then able to talk a little bit about how it has similar effects on him. It was the first time in a long time I've told another man about my struggles with this, and I feel like he was almost relieved that someone else brought it up. Not only did that plant a seed for him, I think, but it reinforced one of the hardest lessons for me to ingrain--there is no shame in admitting this problem to others. Despite how utterly terrifying it is to admit to another person, I've never had a bad experience doing so. I'm not about to go to my rooftop and shout "I'M A PORN ADDICT!", but having another instance where admitting my struggles lead to a closer connection with someone is further proof that this addiction thrives in the darkness and flees in the light.

    Carry on brothers!
     
  20. lowkeysonly

    lowkeysonly Fapstronaut

    Hey I think we've all been there. Overconfidence on one day, relapse and defeat on the next day. It does not mean that nothing changed. This confident fella from 2 days ago is still you, and you are aware of your mistake(s). Of course you feel hopeless, but getting back on track quickly will also regain that confidence. Just be more alert and strong next time, and the day counter is one thing but probably not the most important thing in the world. You can beat this addiction. And relationship issues arise from time to time, it's not only sunhine and unicorns in life, even on nofap. Anyway, you're not alone we all fight this together.
     
    magvor, GottaBFree, artifact and 3 others like this.

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