NoFap

  1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

50+ Male newbie long time addict

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Phyrrhus, Jul 29, 2015.

  1. Jul 29, 2015 #1
    Phyrrhus

    Phyrrhus Fapstronaut

    24
    25
    13
    I have tried everything I could think of to walk away from this and have always been sucked back in. If discipline alone could do it, I would have done it by now. My longest stretch was 31 days. I thought I was free, and then relapsed and binged and just didn't care. I am convinced a multifaceted approach is needed here that focuses on improving my own self worth, and also accountability. As long as this is a secret I can always rationalize a relapse. So perhaps I am looking for an accountability partner too. I have been without hope for some time now, but going through this site and some of the video's has given me a new reason to reengage. Your thoughts are welcome.
     
    Phyrrhus, Jul 29, 2015
    Phyrrhus, Jul 29, 2015
    #1
    zeke1st and Arley like this.
  2. Jul 29, 2015 #2
    Arley

    Arley Fapstronaut

    145
    114
    43
    Yes this site has been a wonderful resource for me as I am a somewhat compulsive social media person and this site has bent that character defect, as it were, in a constructive direction. It seems like being engaged throughout the day in a conversation(s) about recovery from this addiction is a very positive thing for me. I've been aware of my pmo addiction for almost ten years (the addiction itself being more than double that) and the day count I have right now is the most I've had.
     
    Arley, Jul 29, 2015
    Arley, Jul 29, 2015
    #2
    zeke1st and Phyrrhus like this.
  3. Jul 29, 2015 #3
    zeke1st

    zeke1st New Fapstronaut

    2
    4
    3
    How long have you been addicted? I'm almost 21 and I've been addicted since I was 9 so for over half of my life I have tried keeping secrets and lying to everyone around me, I feel as if I've missed out on development phases of my life because of this vicious PMO cycle. Now I don't say this because I have no hope and have given up, just the opposite, I'm saying that you're here and I'm here, we have made a positive action against PMO and have taken the first of many steps that are on the journey to recovery, it isn't going to be easy and you know this already, you have to be willing to make sacrifices, be uncomfortable, build discipline, and be a fapstronaut, I have faith in you, that you can overcome this addiction. I'm at the beginning too so if you want I'll be your broth in arms.
     
    zeke1st, Jul 29, 2015
    zeke1st, Jul 29, 2015
    #3
    Arley and Phyrrhus like this.
  4. Jul 29, 2015 #4
    Phyrrhus

    Phyrrhus Fapstronaut

    24
    25
    13
    This helps. Thank you. It was hard to acknowledge I have been addicted most of my adult life, since my mid 20s. I don't believe in having regrets about the past. I think there is a lot we can learn from an experience like this. I am interested now though in doing what ever is necessary, including as you say enduring the discomfort and dealing with this. Somewhere inside, I think there is an amazing person that is ready to emerge.
     
    Phyrrhus, Jul 29, 2015
    Phyrrhus, Jul 29, 2015
    #4
    zeke1st and Arley like this.
  5. Jul 29, 2015 #5
    Arley

    Arley Fapstronaut

    145
    114
    43
    "I think there is an amazing person that is ready to emerge." There most assuredly is.
     
    Arley, Jul 29, 2015
    Arley, Jul 29, 2015
    #5
    Phyrrhus and zeke1st like this.
  6. Jul 30, 2015 #6
    Jmak290

    Jmak290 Guest

    @Phyrrhus is ready to emerge a better person is the right attitude. Self talk for me is a battle, a fight I'm willing to engage in.

    I am an awesome person. Not crap. Etc...

    Over 55, and it's discouraging to admit the struggle to play is still alive. Why can't I just put away childish things? It's not easy. We know.

    Arrested development to some degree with me. I'm working on that too.

    One thing that is advancing the frontlines of the battle is F2F accountability team. Face to face with someone... I have just started meeting with another guy, my 12 step sponsor. We meeting for about an hour each Monday 4pm.

    But it was just last 2 weeks ago, I spilled the beans, let the cat out of the bag...

    I told him of my struggles with FPMO. Vulnerability is a difficult issue, but I needed that, and it's gotten easier, cause I don't want to embarrass myself again next week when he asks me "how's it going?"

    This forum is a start. Keep sharing, keep posting! And welcome!
     
    Jmak290, Jul 30, 2015
    Jmak290, Jul 30, 2015
    #6
    Phyrrhus and Arley like this.
  7. Jul 30, 2015 #7
    Phyrrhus

    Phyrrhus Fapstronaut

    24
    25
    13
    I agree a F2F accountability partner would be the ultimate. At my age I'm really not sure who I would go to. Yes, part of that is isolation and secrecy wanting to maintain their hold on me, and were I to just pick someone and talk to them they would probably be cool with it. Part of it though is I really don't know who I could talk to. It is ever on my mind now though because of what you said. Sitting in front of someone and confessing you slipped up, again, is much much more painful than logging on to an online forum, and therefore likely to provide more of a motivation to stay true.

    Having said that, I am very much energized by having a supportive group to share this challenge with, and plan to do everything in my power to get past this.
     
    Phyrrhus, Jul 30, 2015
    Phyrrhus, Jul 30, 2015
    #7
  8. Jul 30, 2015 #8
    Jmak290

    Jmak290 Guest

    90% perspiration 10% inspiration things get done.

    Talk about your victories and share the struggles so we can give input as well as for personal growth.

    I've gone back to read my first posts way back months ago, and I can see as I read, changes being made. It's working.

    Keep moving forward my friend
     
    Jmak290, Jul 30, 2015
    Jmak290, Jul 30, 2015
    #8
    Phyrrhus likes this.

Share This Page