7 years without pmo

I don't equate not having sex with not enjoying life (the activities you described), which is what you do (consciously or unconsciously) based on your response. What I believe is to enjoy life but pleasures aren't everything. Well, what I would call, concentrated pleasures, aren't everything (sex, television, etc.). Your very waking experience should be pleasurable. You express too much focus, in my humble opinion, in the mind and body, but these aren't everything. They are not the center. I don't think I will try and convey that any further. Essentially, you are pushing a compulsive life. I am not suggesting that he become an (or a) "eunuch". I am saying sex doesn't equal everything. He can certainly enjoy other aspects of life, why not? I would be elated if he found a mate or some expression of his worth, but again that should not be sex-centered.

My advice is for you to dial down your sex-centered advice (even touch it up a bit). Further a sex-filled life is not mutually exclusive with a joyful life.

 

"YOU SHALL NOT RULE ME!!!" That was a good one. I very much enjoyed that, oh and I didn't have sex while I read that, that means that I didn't really enjoy it, right? (Excuse me while I go have sex, just to make sure that my mind got the correct amount of enjoyment).....

Okay, I'm back....Wow, everything is different now. I knew not what life was until I just had sex for the 1000th time! Oh my God, f**k you Gandalf and your evil sexless life! Burn in hell. (That was all fun and games, just so you know. It is possible without sex.)

It is not inescapable actually. People take their lives because of being human, but I am NOT saying that that's what people should. I am completely 100% against that. Again, sex isn't everything.

Yeah, fear is definitely consuming you. You should have that checked out. Or maybe you should just go have sex.

I am not against not physically interacting (doesn't necessarily imply sex, mind you) with your mate. Never even alluded to such a thing. Physical touch is good. It feels wonderful. But, the physical touch has nothing to do with the partner.. It is what your body feels internally.

So all our emotions are immediately turned off when we're not having sex? Well, that is surprising to me. I quess the laughter I experienced earlier from your "you shall not rule me" statement means nothing. Excuse me while I go have sex again, just to make sure that I am enjoying life.....

Okay, I'm back.... That is getting exhausting!

Anyway, a nation that doesn't have sex? Well, a nation that doesn't have sex is a dead nation, obviously. Well, you are totally missing my point. And it is not unnatural to not have sex. You know cells? They reproduce by just splitting apart, it is called mitosis. Is that unnatural?

Well, just so my mind gets the point I'm going to go have sex again because just sitting here typing is so unbearably stale I cannot even feel my pulse anymore!

 

Its not what i do, its what people need,its not just pleasure, its sex and affection, touching human beings, engaging with them socially and physically, mentally, is a basic , human need, a very deep one. Sexuality being so attached to love, to self esteem, to friendships, to having children, to self discovery, to adventure, to basic human needs i find this suggestion , done so lightly that , a 19 year old boy should have as a life goal, to live "free" of sex - and all it comes with it and causes- as if it were a disease or a virus so abhorrent to be tantamount to push a young naive fellow into a life of unfulfilled needs and aspirations and frustrations. Sex isnt everything i never said its ALL. Friends, family, work etc are obviously very important.But sexual life is very important as well. When theres problems in this area, they over spill into our whole lives, if it werent important, then ...why all the fuss about it since time imemorial?

Theres no need to convey any further, it already smacks of the pulpit or those "new ageisms" or consciouness sermons or eastern buddhism, as well based on nothing but words and wishes, not proof or science. I am against these types ideas and practices and obscurantisms which maintain human kind in a perpetual state of deceit, so we can feel good about ourselves, submissive to fantasy, rather than achieving a more mature understanding.

We live in the real world, meat and potatoes, so in the real world , people need to be people and engage with other people freely and in ways which satisfy them and give them happiness and fulfillment, as a 19 year old boy he should go out into the world, and live as fully and as happily as he can, thats my advice. If he does find one or several partners in his life i hope he gets to decide if it is about sex or more. Plenty of life experience and good can come of flings and meetings whose initial push was mutual sexual attractiveness. Nothing wrong with that. In this we are in disagreement.

 

The fuss isn't about sex itself. The fuss is about the usage thereof. Has not the proliferation of sex led to increasing amounts of the need for novelty in the act over the years? Hasn't that novelty led us to use this forum in order to dial back the damage caused by this novelty, that is getting away from pornography? You are a man of science and logic, but where does that logic go when you are lost in P fantasy (this is an assumption, I know, but I think it is a valid one given the site we are on)? P fantasy and a sex-centered reality are tied together, they are not separate. These are both bound to living compulsively.

I myself enjoy the scientific process, in fact I am studying mathematics. What other form or logical structure is higher than this? But, I understand there must be value in other bases of the human life (religion, spirituality, etc.). If there was no value in it they would have been dismantled completely millenia ago. Not saying that anyone one religion is true, but that each one has some truth to share. Completely disregarding one or the other is not logical at all.

You cannot help but recognize that your emotions are what drive you, not logic. Logic is there for understanding what little of life it does. Your emotions are tied to your logic. You cannot get away from that. Humans aren't inherently logical, we are inherently emotional. This is where everything gets distorted. Our reactions to each others posts, for example.

Your distortions aren't true and neither are mine. How can they be? The next step is to recognize how we project ourselves onto others.

Sex is not important. Sex is just a facet of animal life. Its perceived importance is derived from a human-centered reality, that is "we need to have sex because procreation". This reality doesn't care about human life, it just is. In fact, the world would be a much better place without us. Sex isn't important, and our logic isn't important either. Our logic is slaved to our emotions and when we don't have that in check we damage ourselves, hence addictions.

 

Firstly, congrats for your achievement.

One question, how you view M? before and now.

 

Bro feel free to go have sex with whoever you want. Would've been easy for me to do but why? I don't want any commitment rn and it takes the whole purpose out of your seed when you just give it to any bih that walks through the door. As men we have to stand alone, and yes, this is way harder to do bc you don't release pressure in your body. But it also creates a stronger frame of mind

 

You're legendary!!! I'll follow you.

 

I understand you. But i have a different opinion, that also made me successful. M for me was also a escaping to my fear to not talking to girls. But after i managed that, after i was able to talking, going to dates and etc...M was an alternative to deal with my sexual desire besides sex.

But i am interested in why you think M leads to P inevitably, if you can explain better.

 

Hi, how many years you had been addicted to p and m? Was it just a short period or really long?

What things I can do to replace the need for pmo (besides sex)? I mean what are some alternatives to pmo in your opinion? When I am sad/angry/dpressed/... what can I do instead of pmo?

 

I realised it's much easier for me to completely quit something, instead of doing it in moderate. For p and m, apparently it's either excessive or not at all for ME. And my chose will be definitely the latter. But I assume many people can find a middle solution?

Personally, I don't have much problem with m if it can be managed and being done only when the person really wants to do it.

 

Yeah, i said that either P and M can`t be used to escape from your actual problems. And i agree that takes some energy from you, specially if you are ``chasing girls``, in some way your energy to pursue them is diminished or when you are practicing a sport (i also like martial arts, i'm practicing muay thay for now) you have less energy. That is why i am also trying to find a balance in this matter too, balancing my sexual desire and my energy to do other things in life. And like you said, i also think the goal is to decrease gradually. But at least for now i don`t have intentions to get rid off forever. I still see benefits in a controlled way, like i don't have more urges to do PMO and as an alternative to S.

About being addicted, i don`t see myself an addicted anymore. That is something that she, the therapist, told me to change, to stop seeing my self an addicted to just having a bad habit that can be controlled.

Initially I was surprised, but in fact if we keep calling ourselves addicts for the rest of our lives I think that in one way or another we will end up acting in this role. And seeing this like a habit, a bad one, at least for me made me feel more in control, so i started to realize the process to build and to extinguish this habit.

So to in a simple way to build or to get the habit stronger i need to do PMO regularly to deal with my sexual desire and specially as a mechanism to escape from my problems, my reality, to feel better. For this i also have to ignore other mechanisms to solve these problems, like emotional intelligence or S with someone else for example.

And to get rid off the habit i need to turn it invisible, and need healthy mechanisms to deal with my problems and specially with my sexual desire (which for me now is M and S)

about being or not addicted for the rest of your life, how do you perceive yourself? And when and why it changed?

And what you think about transmutation of sexual energy?

 

I don't consider M a drug the way i practice. It can turns out into a drug if someone practices to avoid problems or watching P. Is like remedy, depending on the dose and the intentions can turns out into a drug.

I don't know if i made myself clear that i don't practice P->M->O, in sequence, i don't watch P anymore.

What i said about controlled way was about M without P and without running away from my problems

It works for me because i understand how a habit works, i studied about. But i can't understand deeply how addictions works the way i understand habits. It seems to have little difference, but for me it has a big impact

I understand. Yeah, we must be careful in making big promisses.

I understand. I am doing it in some way and planning to increase.

But why without sex? Religion?

And i totally agree that pmo makes us passive, inactive. After all takes a lot of our physical and mental energy

1 session per week on tuesdays. No, is part of my health plan. I think the system care it is different here in brazil. So explaining: if i can and want i can pay a medical plan, x per month, and then i can consult with the doctors who are part of the health plan. Is cheaper than paying them directly.

It helped me a lot, not only in dealing with pmo, but mainly dealing with problems of my life that i couldn't handle it alone.

I plan to continue for a long time, is a healthier mechanism to deal with our problems, i will just maybe decrease the amount of sessions per month or year.

 

i use M only to quench my sexual desire. But i use without P, only with my imagination (not P related) and with the sensations.

I don't have to control M because of sadness, anger, stress... i just need to find a balance but related with my sexual desire and the energy i want to save for other things in my life.

i don't use M to reduce reduce my stress, reccuring negative thoughts, painful memories, fear of painful things that expect you next week, month.

For that i have a therapist and use emotional intelligence to deal with that.

 

If you dont want commitments, then dont commit, you can still have sex if you so desire. It doesnt need to be any ...woman... you meet in some alley mate... a friend who also needs and desires sex but doesnt necessarily wants complications or a boyfriend now. A healthy, smart, engaging woman who would like to be with you physically but doesnt want a relationship its not that hard to find. Not any bitch. The purpose of your seed ? Look, the purpose of your dick is to make children and luckily to have fun and connect physically with other people. a stronger frame of mind maybe, for a while , but is it sustainable?

Stand alone? no man is an island right... So be it have it your way.