Lonliness

I’d focus on being the best you can be. When you’re content being yourself then your ready for a relationship. If you go into a relationship ‘needy’ it creates problems. Give all you’ve got to following Him and He will give you the desires of your heart.

 

You need to be happy being you, porn or no porn. Sin should not play a roll in your peace with Christ. If it does then let me suggest kindly you may not have fully realized the power of his grace. Not to say you don't have his full grace but sometimes we don't know how much we have. When you can say you have the peace of Christ even in a difficult circumstance of sin then I think you will be ready for whatever God has for you. FYI online dating is a good way to meet a girl just be real with your profile and the girls will know exactly what they are getting.

 

Starting reading the bible everyday. Start with the New Testament and read one chapter a day. Don't worry about your progress, just get into the word everyday. Make it habit. Jesus is your friend, turn to him when lonely. He is there, you just have to seek him.
I agree with Beatthis as well. You are a man, go out and be yourself and become what you want to be.
Don't worry about find a partner right now. When the time is right, God will let you know whom he has chosen for you. Women are attracted to self confident and successful men. Be one of those and they will take notice.
Try to surround yourself with other Christian men. Find a men's ministry at a local church and plug in.

 

So I was doing good for about 2 weeks and was feeling really close to Jesus but yesterday I PMO. so what is next? do I owe it to God to feel bad? for how long?

 

I don't think you owe it to God to feel bad. God forgives, he has grace beyond all understanding. He is rooting for you. Pick yourself up, dust off, and be more determined than ever. Ask for forgiveness and try again.
Check out smartrecovery site. They have some good tools there to help deal with urges and coping mechanisms.
I am fairly new to this, but I have acknowledged that I am a sex addict. I have used porn almost daily for the past 20 years, plus, until recently, I also had encounters with sex workers on the regular. Being an addiction, just stopping will not work for me. I am working on strategies and plans to utilize before I get the urge so that I am ready when it does happen. Smartrecovery has been very helpful with this.
I started reading the bible daily several months ago as well. I have been a "Christian" since I was twelve, but this is the first time I have read the bible daily. It has been eye and heart opening. Jesus wants a personal relationship with us. He became man and then died for us for this very reason. How selfish I have been pleasuring myself and thus distancing myself from Him! He is faithful and will not give up on me, but I must put in the effort and willingness to try to become more pure. All the time being humble and asking His forgiveness when I stumble. Lean on him. Pray about it. I once heard a good saying, "God never wants the day off, he wants to hear from you" (pray without ceasing), so don't be afraid to get on your knees and ask for His help with this.

 

marriage won't help with porn. I'm married. any brain always wants something new and fresh to get high on. my wife can not provide that. only self-control and submission to the Lord.

 

Mr. McMarty is correct. Marriage will not help with porn. In fact, if you don't deal with the porn now, before you are married, any future marriage is destined for a rocky road. Porn programs your brain that sex is all visual and physical. No intimacy. That is why we go further down the rabbit hole to find more and more disgusting sex acts to fulfill our never ending appetite.

Paul points out that some men have more libido than others, and if sex is not a big drive, then better off without it. However, you are correct, it is a challenge. However it apparently can be done, as many on this site have succeeded. I am no expert, as I'm just starting to try to defeat this myself. I am finding that my time reading the bible in the morning is helping me immensely. So many of today's churches seem to sugar coat things and talk about how loving and forgiving Jesus is, and they are correct. But they fail to spend equal time discussing the consequences of unforgiven sin, which is death (I Cor. 15:56). We cannot be with Jesus, and at the same time have this filth. Which are you going to choose? If we falter, He is faithful to forgive us if we ask. But at the same, read his word, seek him. Pray for strength, power. It's a two way street.

One final thought, Prov. 26:11 “As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.”
Think of porn as vomit. We dislike it, it is disgusting. But yet we go back to lap it up like a dog laps up it's vomit. We are the fools by returning back to it.

Hope this helps.

 

I have heard testimonies of online dating working out, but i'd like to encourage you to not neglect the gathering of the local church. Meeting a partner woman there offers you accountability and a community to help focus you (and her) on Christ first before each other