(23yo) 18 Reasons of Why PMO has fucked with me (gay, prostitutes, trans, etc.)

Didnt notice your comment!

Thansk for the advice, will follow it without any doubt

I am willing to go through this journey, everything else in my life is quite awesome and I am not willing to fuck it over.

Allen Carr's book on PMO addiction has been just FANTASTIC, gave me a lot of willpower and motivation to continue.

Nevertheless, I do not relly just on willpower anymore, I have understood the power of good and bad habits and practicing as much mindfulness and meditations as possible.

Take care man!!

 

Gotta say as well that low libido and flatline is starting to hit, do not like being on this situation but nvm, it is just part of the process and I am accepting it

 

Stuff getting WAY better,

Since Feb no grindr, no porn, NoFap, almost no thoughts, there was like 2 weeks where I struggled after a gay erotic dream, but after not giving too much importance to this fact, I managed not to care.

I did manged to get to 93 days nofap, then failed for several weeks and now back in track with 20 days of nofap

More than sure that I am getting away from this shit and that you can too.

It may seem that you will never see the light again and that you are doomed for ever, but that is not true.

Yes, it might be very difficult to unwire completely, there may still get stuck some of your previous addictions and secret fetishes.

But the neuronal connections REALLY GET WEAKER, after a long period of not getting into those thoughts.

At one moment, you are in charge of your decisions and the addiction is definitely easy to beat, you do not even need to think about.

Would like to see what I say in 1 year, but so far after:

After 93 days of nofap + 4 weeks of "failing" + 20 days of nofap:

- 0 use of gay or trans material
- No obsessive thoughts (just had one/two bad weeks but was manageble after I started not to care about that)
- Easiness towards the subject
- No desire to watch or go back to those fetishes
- Increased interest in girls, feeling capable of "falling in love". This was something that I lost for several monhts, maybe even longer.
- Great boners and feeling more confident in achieving great erections

 

Just get back to it, congrats on 52 days, remember that you already done it once, you can go through it again

 

Man looks like you are still watching ads of scorts. Stop it.

You need a 100% clean detox and reboot, that's when things get better

Keep on fighting

 

fuck i just lost the count today, lurked through scorts ads, how ironic life is, a few moments ago I was criticizing that same action.

quite important lesson here to learn and to remember:

it is not about relying on your self control, the biggest factor for success is limiting your triggers

I did not fell becuase I was edging, i feel because i had the house empty for a few days and thought about bringing a prostitute, that made engage in ads and then I fapped

well, this is not like the worst thing that could happen, but restoring the counter to 0.

thanks for making me aware about all the things that are still ahead of the path

i must get the benefit from this situation and not get into the shiity part

 

Quick update:

Understood after these months that gay acts and trans porn was coming from the lowest points of emotional state perspective

When I do not take enough care of myself I can fall into those habits

It is a sort of shame and lower self esteem spiral

If I get to watch that material or think about gay acts, it just destroys myself for a few days

When do I want to see that stuff? When I am in a bad moment or when I am just rushing for dopamine release

In these 6 months I had no urges to watch any of that stuff and my mind was pretty clear. Exercise, diet, socializing, studying, etc works miracles in your self esteem

Remember that self esteem is just the relationship you have with your self. The more you take care of yourself and the more you keep your promises and do good things for you, the more you love yourself.

3 weeks ago I installed Grindr and tried to check for ts. Fuck. That killed me for almost a week, was feeling so inadequate because the acts were not matching my self image. Cognitive dissonance at its finest.

Gratefully did not act on it and just edged for a while. Lost my streak the following day.

I can feel how those paths are still existing because they do give me a dopamine rush, but my mind is feeling rested with the fact that I got in that rabbit hole because of pmo and bad moments.

Still there is a fight ahead of me, but it's gotten easier.

Reached 93 days streak, now I am on 9.

Plan is simple:

Hard mode nofap, wait till 100 days and start having sex again if I find a nice girl.

No girl? No problem

Will just keep focussing on myself and wait for a good one

Not using tinder anymore and not going to fuck a girl that I would not be proud of showing off to my mates

PS:
It has also helped me A LOOOOOOT the fact that I have not watched porn for 13 months

THERE is hope for everyone.