Has anyone else had problems with gay chat rooms and cam to cam?

That’s it, don’t set yourself a massive goal, if you fail it’ll knock you badly.

If you just work minute to minute when you feel like you’re struggling, it doesn’t seem so bad.

With me if I deny myself something, I feel like I want it, so instead, it’s almost like saying I’ll look in a bit, but that’s always my answer, then eventually the desire to look or act disappears, if that makes sense.

 

I have stoped my whole porn consume ! I feel much better and my hornyness is going down but still is too much ! I want to be 90 days without porn this is my goal !

 

I get you, same has happened to me. There's this urge to watch a guy masturbating, or even the thought of it. But at the end, I feel disgusted. Sometimes it can be weeks or even months without the intrusive thoughts, but when they come, they sure want to stay.

 

I've read this story many times on this forum.

If you don't quit this in a hurry, you'll be one of those guys writing "i'm not gay i'm totally straight but sometimes i like giving blowjobs".

 

This is due to your brain wanting more of a dopamine rush. The more porn you consume the more disgusting things you're going to end up doing to feed the addiction. I've had problems with transwoman porn and transwoman cam models. You have to abstain from fapping and avoid placing yourself in a position which is going to cause you to relapse because a normal relapse will never be enough you will always crave something extreme. You have to literally rewire your brain no fapping and no porn use.

 

For me, when I've done it, it's all about the compliments. There is definitely something extra that comes from showing off to a guy. I'm bi, so I like the attention of men and women equally. But, fact is, gay culture seems to be centered often on physical appearance. So, you know, if I get compliments from a gay guy, I take that as a real compliment. LOL Same as, if I get hit on by a guy on the street, in the gym, or wherever. I take it is as very flattering -- I must be doing something right in keeping my appearance/fitness up to get that attention. (My wife thinks it's pretty funny how often guys hit on me. LOL)

 

I was just thinking of making a thread on this. This is something I got into fairly recently. I go onto a well-known site (won't mention it here) and would MO with other guys. I'd consider myself straight and can never see myself in a relationship with a guy, but something about MOing with another guy really sat well with my brain.

I guess it's because of all the years of porn use. After so much use over the years, I need something new or a new "fix" to give me the same high.

Afterward, I always feel really guilty, shameful, and gross. I "finished" about a month ago one time, my family came home afterward and my father said I looked like I saw a ghost. Guess he could see the shame on my face.

 

I am straight with history of hocd. I used anonymous apps with no showing off, but the compliments were the best thing (even if they were not about appearance for obvious reasons). Generally I think that it is easier to get a compliment from a guy than from a woman. The whole thing was confusing but I have realised that while I liked the compliments I wanted to hear them from a girl and I don't want to do anything sexual with men.

Lmao. It would be funny, but this is also kind of scary. Honestly those guys are probably really straight, but if you acted upon your confusion it might be a lot harder to realise that you are actually straight, especially if it wasn't completely terrible experience.

 

Are you sure they're straight? i know a lot of straight guys and none of them does that stuff.

 

Prison gay is a thing and porn confuses a lot of people. Most people assume that orientation is defined by actions or even preferences in porn. Under uncharacteristic circumstances sexuality may be more flexible than most people think, heavy porn use, depression, rejection etc. may lead to confusion. Not always questioning have to lead to conclusion that you are not straight. Quite often it might not even happen without some wierd circumatances.

Obviously overwhelming majority of straight guys do not experiment, but I can assure you that I know enough cases to tell that this is a thing. Some people will after such experiences tell themselves that they are gay or bi to maintain integrity, but I don't think that acting out on a confusion during a period of heavy porn use, bad moment in life etc. is something that defines your orientation. I haven't acted out and from perspective I am sure that I was just confused, but I know people who went down the rabbit whole after whole life of being straight and either decided that they are bi now (they wouldn't be without the circumstances) or came to conclusion that it was a mistake.

 

I think the whole issue of sexuality is more fluid than people want to admit. I think people would all be happier and healthier without wasting so much time worrying about whether they are straight or not. Sex is sex and so what!

 

I think that the problem is that people don't want to admit that sexuality can change. You can have some default, but act outside of it under some circunstances.

 

I'm in the same situation as you my friend, for too long. It's nice to see that you and me are not alone. I think my motive is some distorted ideas about sex when I was too young to ask from girls intimacy so I went for anyone who could supply it to me. Thats why it excites me more than porn; the illusion of connection. Although I consider myself as straight, I won't get 100 on kinsey scale but definitely see myself in a long term relationship with a woman.

 

I think that's a great point. Camming, even just watching cams, gives a false sense of intimacy. P by itself is actually really lonely when you think about it. Mostly you consume it all by yourself and then hide it. Having someone on the other side of the cam feels less lonely. Maybe validating. You're not the only pervert out there. LOL But it's all false.

That's why I value this place. It's validating too. But the support is real too. Thanks to you all.

 

damn this is a good thread, there are really insightful replies. I am also one of the victims who escalated from cam to meeting in real life.

 

Most people underestimate sexual flexibility but most people are not pushing their boundaries because they are not porn or sex addicts. I don't think that everyone is "a little bi" because this "little" part requires quite a lot of push to be honest. People see orientation, especially straight or gay, as someting exclusive, you have to be "gold star", but being not Kinsey 100 but 99 does not make someone gay or even bi, it is overstatement.

 

I discovered the cam and the chatrooms and it took me into a whole new world of mind numbing and sexually numbing encounters--I don't like labels, I have had a lot of sex with men but I prefer women, but on the cam as you all know it's mostly men which is (used to be) a turn on for me. Now I am spending at least an hour on the cam per day masturbating with a wide variety of men and a few women women, random, anonymous, naked on camera (no faces) I'm shown pictures of their wives and gf's, called "daddy" by both young guys and girls, been oohed and aahed at etc--and when I that doesn't get me off after 60 minutes of trance I switch to the porn sites and try to get off. My sex life is in the toilet, I can't perform even with the little blue pill...time for a reboot! The last time I abstained I went three weeks, but I "rewarded" myself with an uptick in being on the cam. Just now I got back from yet another failed sexual encounter with a good friend who wants nothing more than to please me, and all i've got for her are images in my head of the crazy shit I'm been seeing on the live cam. Nobody on the internet knows you're a dog, and nobody knows I'm a 60-yr old dad and professional, i'm in my mind a hot 40 year old part time porn star and I am instantly rewarded, the feedback loop is intense, but what was once an exotic and really hot ten minute encounter is now obviously compulsive behavior. I think it was hot for about a week now that I think of it. Time for a reboot? I think so!!!! Porn=bad, destructive, runious -- cams=worse