Recovery Speedup Advice (first 90 days)

Hello! I am tired because my insomnia had a bad night last night, excuse any badly written sentences or faulty grammar.

I am someone who has relapsed again and again for 3 years while trying to get free from porn and I finally found a way to get to at least 7 weeks (I don't keep track, you shouldn't either) with my best streak ever as of now, and I am still on this streak and don't plan on failing. There is a massive lack of threads (from what I am trying to find with searching if I am wrong let me know) about speeding up recovery. That is what I am going to do here, as mentally and physically I am on a streak much longer than I actually am in real-time, which is good! They will be ordered from most important/effective to least important/effective.

#1 Being bored is good for you

Yeah, this one is going to send a lot of people searching for other advice in other threads with how hard it can be. You need to eliminate YouTube, Instagram, Reddit, Snapchat, you get the idea. Also, minimize t.v. usage/pc gaming, even minimize texting your friends too much. Keep in mind, I said TOO much. No GCs for half an hour at a time. Use technology for work and study, nothing else. You need to find yourself bored out of your mind, your brain is sent onto the fast track for dopamine starvation which helps increase sensitivity long term (THAT IS AN ASSUMPTION BASED OFF WHAT HAS WORKED FOR ME DONT QUOTE ME ON THAT). Read #2 before applying this step

#2 Stop yourself cold in fantasizing and IMMEDIATELY look away from ANY sexual stimulus you see

Yeah, your brain constantly daydreaming about your favorite porn star or staring at the waist of that pretty femboy you saw on Instagram is going to fuck your recovery up. This one gave a HUGE improvement in my ability to resist urges and speed up the process of recovery. When you let your brain, while bored (remember #1!), drift to that porn state of mind you're keeping your addiction on a lifeline. You need to be aggressive about avoiding it, tell yourself 'no' very firmly whenever you try and look at something or think about something even remotely arousing. You don't have full control of your thoughts, so make sure your first priority is demonizing those porn thoughts. If your brain sees it as an enemy, you are no longer as aroused and it's more of a disgust. For those dating, this can even be your partner. Keep your sexual stimulation with them to a more in-person, physical level. Or, if you're able to/want to discuss putting it on hold for the first 2-3 recovery weeks.

#3 This one is obvious, cardio or strength training (maybe both)

Find a form of cardio that works for you, whether it be strength-based HIIT, interval sprinting (a form of HIIT), steady-state cardio (jogging for a few miles), biking every day to work and speed walking wherever you go (this is usually an addition, not its own cardio), swimming, etc.

Make sure to do research on how to do cardio properly, it's not something to jump into blindly if you have no experience.

#4 Don't be too hard on yourself if you relapse, but IMMEDIATELY stop yourself once you do if you find yourself there

Don't binge after a failure, that is the worst thing you could do. Take however long you need to sit in your room, in the dark, and think about what led you here. Make the change to avoid that. If you followed #2 this is unlikely to happen in the first place.

#5 Talk with real guys/girls that you're into

Yeah, this one is pretty generic but it is used a lot as advice for a good reason. For the first 2 weeks of my streak, I was talking with my current ex-girlfriend (she needs to get herself to a better place mentally before she can handle a relationship, then we get back together) a lot about more erotic topics since we hadn't had sex at that point (still haven't). Obviously, since she is my ex-girlfriend, that conversation stopped after 2 weeks and the last 3 (or more, I don't keep track of my streaks) weeks have been spent focusing on myself. Basically, this exposes you to real-life sexual situations to separate your brain from the toxic, fake porn view. Real people are a lot more insecure and awkward than pornstars or Instagram thots. Seeing those insecurities and that awkwardness is therapeutic for a brain in a porn fantasy land. Go out and flirt! But try to remember #2 and avoid discussing sex too early on in your streak and also talk about it sparingly. Discuss it only to establish proper communication on what you both are looking for.

Remember, everyone. You have to still put in the work and recovery will never be instantaneous. You'll have good and bad days just the same. Stay strong and aim for triple digits and beyond!

 

I think you missed the mark with criticizing #1, as it isn't meant as a means of reducing urges, #2 is more of a 'stop the thought' kind of thing and avoid looking whenever possible (don't keep staring), #4 is obvious, which is why it's so low on the list, and #6's criticism makes sense. I will probably remove #6.

 

Agreed. Playing less pc and not using t.v. has given me only reading and schoolwork to do. Currently a senior in highschool, will have to find other outlets once I graduate in late May.

 

For sure my friend. Always look at it proactively, this addiction is like any other. It requires movement.

 

Maybe try and see if past trauma could be part of that. If not, perhaps it's an OCD of sorts?

Both of those are assumptions, in the end, you don't need to *stop* yourself from thinking about it. You need to stop yourself from willingly thinking about it! You have little control over your subconscious mind, which is what pops those uncontrolled thoughts into your head. It takes a better mindset to beat this, see the porn in your mind for what it is. A venomous, vile, and outright degrading trap. Your fantasy will turn into anger, disgust, and hate if you consistently do this.

 

It certainly takes a lot for the average person, I myself had to put a lot of effort into it. Eventually you even enjoy it! (only a little bit lol)

 

As in what am I going to do when I graduate high school? EMT training immediately and, after a gap year, I begin schooling for my BSN.

 

Hey, if it works for you, it works for you. Congrats on getting so far after 9 years of destruction.