The Lord of the Rings Challenge

3 days. Chaser effect from my last fall should be gone. Feel good this morning. Should hopefully have some reprieve from temptations for a bit. We will see. I am ready for them though.

 

Checking in. Yesterday I had the first legitimate urge that I've had in quite a while. It's been a busy week with a lot of family in town and some tough moments with my son, so the urge came to me as "wouldn't it be nice to just shut off and decompress with some porn?" Right. It was easy to deal with, and as blatantly false as a two year old trying to lie, but all the same it reminds me to stay humble and know that this addiction starts as a habit, and the habit starts as a desire, and desire is always present. It doesn't matter if you're on day 2 or 200, once you let go of mindful connection to your best self, the pmo brain will make its move.
How to actually decompress: Exercise, breathing, cold showers, authentic connection to those I love, good books and podcasts, walking in nature, playing guitar, yoga.
How to make it far, far worse: Porn.

 

So far I've been completely clean in April 2021. I'm on a 12 day streak with no peeks or PMO. I jut got back home after doing some careful traveling. A younger version of me probably would have at least slipped up or relapsed while traveling but I was lucky to be with close friends and family during this most recent trip. I have to admit I was slightly tempted to stop at a few adult video stores along the interstate. There was a possibility that I would have to get a hotel room on the drive back and I was concerned I would relapse but thankfully I pushed through and kept clean.

I also recently got a covid vaccine so that has done a great deal to put my mind at ease. Hopefully this positive momentum will help me reach 40 days clean again with minimal slip-ups. I need to remember to be balanced about slip-ups and not be too permissive with myself but also not mentally kick myself if a brief peek or edge happens.

I'm excited and cautiously optimistic to see life get a little closer to "normal". My out-of-town friends & family and I are carefully making more travel plans. In the meantime, I'm going to keep exercising, working on grad school stuff, and try to safely hangout with friends more often. Thanks for reading.

 

Day 224. Days to Elf King: 1!

Yes! I hope everyone finds that their power lies within sooner than later!

 

You just made my morning, dude. Thanks for this.

I am sure I need to take quite some time before I am fully able to enjoy whatever sex I have in the future, so for now, I don't really think about it. I got myself into a really healthy mindset that has made this streak particularly easy, even when strong urges try to hit me. My post on speeding up recovery is basically a summary of my mindset and I figured I would share it with others. It has more than natural at this point, it has become a way of life now that I am past that 'habit breaking' period. The one where you begin to stop needing it to live normally. I honestly do not think it is possible for me to relapse, and I know, as you said, that is cocky, but I seriously am 100% sure I won't be. I am still gonna have to wait for all the benefits, but I am sure they will come in time. My procrastination has gone down staggeringly the past month and I went from D grades (I am the 'too smart to try' kind of student) to roughly 95% in 3 of my classes within 2 weeks because I finally did the work.

I don't keep streaks, as my post said, for that exact reason. I just know it has been more than 40 days, could have been 60 for all I know. I never had to study, either, I always got a 4.0 with ease. That being said, those methods and the guy you mentioned will surely be useful when I get around to college. Thanks! Gonna need to get my BSN so I can be one of those nurses that helps old people in their last days. There is so much to learn from them, so much to discuss. I never enjoyed talking to people my age, because of their maturity level, and always felt most comfortable with people over the age of 65. It will be really nice.

Good luck to you, too. Love your profile photo btw. lol

 

Day 42 complete

Had a breakthrough in my mindset yesterday, a very good one. There is a new depth to my determination and desire to get what I want on my own terms in life. Hoo rah!

 

267 days the stairs of Cirith Ungol
342 days no PMO, semen retention
62 days no sex

Don't think about it, just don't relapse( you can add an Italian accent to make it more clear and emphatic if you want)

 

Great video, that´s literally our thread!!

 

Day 1.5 - Orc

I relapsed after 6.5 day, before I could even come on here and update my status to Urak-Hai. The last two days have been shitty, but I am feeling better. I wrote a letter to my Grandpa who died 13 years ago this month, and it helped a lot. I have also been having feelings of dejection and a lack of purpose, and figuring out, "who is Alexander (Mathmam1994's real name)?" I am going to graduate school next fall, and I am trying to figure out my purpose in life. I do not know who I am or who I want to be. I have ideas and plans, but right now, my life is full of doubts. I am feeling happier today though and I had a good talk with a mentor about my doubts, so I am moving forward now. Also, I am going to put "Post on NoFap.com" on my schedule everyday as a reminder to post to keep myself more accountable.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Checking in on Day 15. I'm officially a hobbit now!

Wow! I never thought I would get to 2 weeks with no PMO, so I'm pretty happy about that. Time to get to day 21 now.

 

Congratulations

 

Day 27,

First run this morning for the week! Been a big homework push and spent a few days feeling very funky. Anyways, out of that slump and was able to garden some today. Class tonight and I feel as though I am in a better headspace compared to Tuesday's small slip during class.

Thank you Fellowship!

 

Day 18

 

Day 2 check in!

 

Thursday check in

Tough day, but a good day so far. Had a great conversation with my advisor and got a small task done, but I was rather anxious about it despite its size.

Today I have: walked, cold showered, meditated, prayed; about to go lift weights.

Someone, I think Bob, asked about my plan. It's basically to stick to a schedule as much as possible and to give myself small, healthy rewards. In terms of moments of crisis, in the past I've had success with prayer, walking, and trying to just observe the feelings. Now that I think about it, I've had more success through changing the structure and activities of my everyday life than by responding to particular moments of temptation. I have to get better at that part.

 

Day 346