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The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.

Should the Thread Title be extended?

Poll closed Jun 21, 2020.
  1. No, leave like that: "The Lord of the Rings Challenge"

    18 vote(s)
    54.5%
  2. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Fellowship of Nofap"

    15 vote(s)
    45.5%
  3. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: Rising Fellowship of Eärendil"

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Journey to Mount Doom"

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  5. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Quest of the Ring-bearer"

    6 vote(s)
    18.2%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. OttarrTheVendelCrow

    OttarrTheVendelCrow Fapstronaut

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    Day 124. The side effects from my vaccine have subsided and I am feeling a renewed sense of hope and drive. I can't imagine what a full-blown, bad case of COVID would feel like, and am so grateful I did not have to endure that. Thank you for the support @RiseToGreatness !
     
  2. Ciceron

    Ciceron Fapstronaut

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    2,435
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    Daily checking.

    St. Joseph, pray for us!
     
  3. crazyhorse11

    crazyhorse11 Fapstronaut

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    Checking in friends

    The greatest thing about this challenge is that over time, bit by bit, we meet the strength within us to face the unresolved issues, the wounds, from our past and can finally accept them and work to heal them and transform them, and I tell you know that the relief from resolving deep seated wounds is greater than 1000 x Os, and it lasts forever, for that issue no longer harms you, it has been healed, it has been transformed.

    Text from Freedom Fight on Double Bind below might help you (it certainly is helping me)

    A double bind is when you have two choices and both are hard and unappealing so you remain stuck. The angst of the double bind drives you down the FASTER scale until it is resolved. Double Binds often take the form of: procrastination vs. productivity, reaching out vs. isolation, ignoring the pain vs. facing the pain, the easy way out vs. doing the right/hard thing.

    The following are real examples of Double Binds:
    • Either I stop procrastinating the work I know I need to get done and press into the pain of fear of failure on this assignment OR I continue to procrastinate by surfing ESPN, YouTube, News etc... and feel good but then later face the consequence of being behind and become even more stressed.
    • Either I stop and address these feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy with my scriptural promises OR I continue to feed off the shame of feeling like trash and alone and worthless until I eventually relapse.
    • Either I can fight to press into my relationships and reach out to the men around me and seek to connect with them (which can be hard) OR I continue to isolate and eventually the loneliness and isolation will lead to relapse.
    • Either I take the time to slow down and be present by filling out the FASTER scale/reflecting on where I am by checking in with someone in my group OR I continue to speed up and try to outrun my current emotional pain until I eventually relapse.
    • Either I have the hard conversation that I need to have but don’t want to OR I try to numb the anxiety with a media binge.
    • Either I ask for help in getting organized and dealing with my scattered life style OR I continue to limp along with my unmanaged life which causes more stress and anxiety.
    • Either I reach out and ask for help before I go home or to another place with a history of relapsing and come up with a game plan OR I wait until I get there and see how it goes. I’m afraid of looking weak to others so I go it alone and don’t reach out resulting in relapse.
    • Either I make a call and check in and confess being weak and exhausted (but I fear being vulnerable and sounding weak) and get it out in the open OR I can try to speed up or just ignore it and just see how it ends up playing out
    • Either I confess my relapse and risk the condemnation of others. Reinforcing the fear that if people really knew me, they would not like me. OR I hide the relapse to avoid potential condemnation. However, the guilt will eat me up and I’ll be isolated, and I will most likely relapse again soon. The core belief here is that I am afraid of being rejected if I’m honest about my struggle but I need to remind myself through the scripture that I am significant in Christ versus depending on others opinions for my significance. Questions to ask to help identify the source of the double bind
    • Why do I fear failure, rejection or other? When did I start fearing failure or rejection or other? What lie am I believing about myself, life or God when I allow this fear to control me?
    • Why are you stressed this week? Ex: I have a test. Why are you so stressed because of the test? Because I get a lot of my significance from my performance and if I don’t do well it’s going to reflect on my worth. You can still be stressed b/c of a test even if it isn’t related to your identity but connecting the stress back to the root often shows wrong thinking making a stressful situation even more stressful. That is why the questions on the FASTER scale are important to answer and process with your group each week in check-in.
    • What truth from God’s word helps address this lie? Taking the time to ask the questions of the double bind helps you determine the true source of the issue so you can address it and return to restoration. Steps in resolving the double bind • Reach out to your accountability and share how you feel.
    • Explore why you feel that way.
    • Is there a lie you believe that is contributing to you feeling this way?
    • What truth from God’s word do you need to remember?
    • Often times facing the pain leads to you admitting that you believed a lie.

    Real life example: A team leader got feedback from his team on his annual review and they had a lot of suggestions for the company and team to improve. The leader at first believed that he was doing a bad job and that his team thinks he is a bad leader. His double bind was to either ignore and excuse the emotions OR examine them honestly and address the issue. He realized that the negative emotion left unchecked often led to relapse since this leader struggled with thinking he was a failure because of his dad. Recognizing the negative emotions and the lies he believed that fed them enabled him to face the issue with the truth. This helped him resolve the issue and move back to restoration but it started with identifying the double bind.
     
  4. Revanthegrey

    Revanthegrey Fapstronaut

    1,626
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    143
  5. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    reset...and I was an Elf..this time I am making it all the way!
     
  6. Thomas3

    Thomas3 Fapstronaut

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  7. jaberwaki

    jaberwaki Fapstronaut

    Checking in. So far so good with my plan of diving into some good beach reads this week as I near 90 days while also being solo-dad. Urges are present, as I knew they would be, but so far I can see them for what they are and am not having difficulty with them. Stay focused, stick to the plan, stay off the computer in the evening. Four days until I'm a Wizard!
     
  8. Mathman1994

    Mathman1994 Fapstronaut

    870
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    Day 4 - Forgot to post yesterday as I was super busy and did not make time until now. I have accomplished a lot since Friday and I am basically caught up with classes with the exception of some late assignments for one and review for two others. In 25.5 hours I will be an Urak-Hai, and I am ready. I am keeping my days packed so that I have no room for temptation and in half in hour, I am meeting with a couple accountability partners with whom we all hold each other accountable. We plan to do weekly meetings Sunday nights from now on.

    Best,
    Mathman1994
     
  9. Teutão

    Teutão Fapstronaut

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    2,636
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  10. Baby Yoda

    Baby Yoda Fapstronaut

    59
    612
    83
    Day 14
    I am almost a hobbit. Very happy with the progress I am making and am ready to start the journey!
     
  11. Strugglingforyears

    Strugglingforyears Fapstronaut

    230
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    Day 7

    Slowly building a new streak.

    Stay strong brothers!
     
  12. Rubzi

    Rubzi Fapstronaut

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    Day 14 check-in (Attempt 4) - Uruk-Hai
     
  13. ARGH! Very frustrated with myself for resetting again. I kept testing my filters until I found content that wasn't quite porn but close enough. I tried to distract myself with emails and video games for a while but after feeling the pressure for three hours I MO'd. Shame on me for not messaging my AP, opening the Panic Button, or anything like that. I let this one happen.

    Let's do this. Starting again. I'll make one day, then two days, then a week, then two weeks, then a month, then three months. It's going to be so difficult. That's okay. I'm the only one holding myself back and I'm up to the task.
     
  14. bob200

    bob200 Fapstronaut

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    Day 5 of the new age. First setback.

    The worst activity in the world to pass the time… fishing. I’ve been on a meme site called 9GAG, and just like that, with no NSFW tag or warning there was a screenshot of a porn scene and I was lost. It just throw me off so hard. I’ve spent like twenty more minutes on that site just fishing and trying to tell myself that I’m just looking at memes so its fine, but my mind was lost.

    At some point I entered an adult stories site I was really hooked on (and I guess still hook on) and just looked at all the new stuff on that site. Just in that moment a received a text from a friend and it kind of broke the spall. I closed everything, put the phone away and got out of the house.

    But it was more luck than skill this time.

    Now I need to find a way to not only quit porn, but also sites like 9gag that have so many triggers.

    But at least I’m still standing.
     
  15. Thancred

    Thancred Fapstronaut

    64
    466
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    I failed AGAIN.
    I failed because someone mention in game B**z***.
    My thoughts overtook me, and i failed.
    But then after i failed i realised that most of my urges and failes, are from these incourtes (e.g. i was in website where i can download films, but there was XXX section, and i went there, because it was so easy :( .You know what happed next..)
    Can anybody help me, how to cross these situations?
    Thank you a lot, and be strong
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 12, 2021
  16. Anew2019

    Anew2019 Fapstronaut

    Day 7. Yay! Been doing really good. Did a 5 day streak, fell once. Then a 15 day streak and fell 3 or 4 times and am now on a week long streak. This is very good. Much much better than usual. Only time I was blessed more than this was when I had a 25 day streak. One day at a time.

    been feeling a bit sluggish and out of sorts. Similar feeling to the time I had an 18 day streak. I fell because of this feeling. Flatline maybe. There is some soreness too. I took a Tylenol and I seam to be feeling better. Have to remember to take one again if I am feeling that way. Maybe I am low on dopamine. Perhaps some healthy dopamine releases are needed. Must get through this. No more pmo.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2021
  17. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    271 days the stairs of Cirith Ungol
    346 days no PMO, semen retention
     
  18. jaberwaki

    jaberwaki Fapstronaut

    Checking in. Three days to Wizardhood! As part of my plan this week I'm reading all the Dresdon Files crime novels, about an urban Wizard. They're cheesy but fun, and exactly what I need as I prepare to cross the 90 day threshold.

    I'm seeing a lot of fishing behavior on this thread from the past few days. I don't know how else to say it, but if you don't learn how to avoid fishing, you'll never kick this addiction. Until you hate fishing as much as you hate PMO--actually, until you see fishing as no different than porn--you're f'ed. I have 15 years of falling flat on my face bc of fishing to back that statement up, 15 years of wondering why I could never get past 3 months of sobriety, without ever realizing what fishing was doing to me (or, more accurately, without ever being willing to admit the role fishing was playing). I urge all of you struggling with fishing to make a plan, read up on the behavior, listen to the universal man podcast on fishing, do everything you can to see it not as an innocent gray area, but as an alcoholic's first sip of beer. You're on the slide, and there's only one direction you go from there.

    Be strong everyone!
     

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