How do you get to know girls?

How do you know the women think they are doing you a favor? I would definitely agree that if that is the case, you do not want to be with that person. Arrogance and pity is unattractive.

 

You're thinking way to negative! Stop messing up your nofap streaks and slowly the demons in your head will go away. Negativity doesn't attract people...

Join anyway. You will learn to appreciate new hobbies. Even better: start volunteering. I'm not so different from you, but I started volunteering and things changed. I met so many new people and learned to not only talk but also flirt with girls. The girls will be much more accessible because they trust you by default if you have the same hobby. It's the complete opposite from online dating.

 

When I was 14, my best pal was, at all times, surrounded by girls. I had several I liked but dared not approach any.

"Pat, what's your secret?" I asked.

I remember his one-word answer, all these years later:

"Relax."

Worked then, works now.

The other thing that helps is doing some sort of group where you specifically ask the women in the group if there is anything appealing or repelling about you that you may not be in touch with. They will tell you then and there, and the answer will lie in between two realms:

"I like you. You seem like an OK guy. I would date you."

"I am not trying to hurt your feelings, but there is something about you that gives me the creeps."

To be successful with women - and I arrogantly count myself among those who are - you really need to know how you come off to them, both energetically and physically. If they say you give them the creeps, that's great information because then you can work on making yourself less creepy.

For instance, I recently bought a pair of slightly oversized glasses on line with blue lenses.

I have been asking random women at shops and such "What do you think?" as I back up and fold the arms.

They will tell you.

"Cool!"

or "A little Elton John."

They're people, like anybody, they want dates, they want sex, but they also want interesting people who do not give them the creeps.

Actually, an artist I dated two years ago said I was creepy, but in a good way, a way that brought her forward. It was HER idea that we have sex, so it didn't work against me in this case.

Hope this helps..!

PS don't try so hard, makes you come off as desperate, which sends 'em running in the opposite direction.

 

You're right man, there's always going to be someone better than you available. But scrawny, smelly dudes still pull women somehow- of course you dont want to be like this but you get my point. There's for sure dudes who are worse off than you financially, shorter and fatter/skinner who get girls. It starts with making a connection. How do you make a connection with someone- thru consistency of interactions. I understand that you dont go out much so change that by maybe joining a gym, going at least 2 times a week and chatting with some people there. If you see a girl you like just go up to her and ask "what are you working on today" or " I noticed you doing X and think you should try it like Y" get some small talk going and leave it at that. Maybe you'll see her another time- wave and smile when you do- then some more small talk, maybe add her on IG or whatever way you wanna keep the momentum going.

 

Actually, you don't need to a lot drink at these places. Just one drink is enough to chill and get a little bit loose. You first need to get more comfortable being alone in public and probably more comfortable in your own skin. Once live concerts become a thing again try to attend one with an artist you're really excited about. Your excitement and enthusiasm will color all your other interactions even if you are alone. If you can bring friends thats even better.

 

My friend, I hate to be one of those people, but trust me, women absolutely do not want to be bothered during a gym workout, and they REALLY don't like some douche bag mansplaining to them what could be improved about their technique. You are there to work out, too, not to bother the women. I have gotten corroboration from this from many, many sources. Bars, yes, coffee shops, maybe, gyms, thank you, no. Gyms are where you find a lot of lonely, awkward men who hang around and give people the creeps. They are there for 3 hours and work out maybe 5 minutes. They also bother the women at the front desk, who are a captive audience. They will also follow someone they are attracted to out to the parking lot, and you know that makes a woman feel reallllly safe - not. Don't be That Guy.

 

Fair point. For sure dont be that guy who goes to the gym and stays on his phone 80% of the time, only trying to flirt with women. If you're there often I see nothing wrong with chatting with some of the people to know their names and kill time in between sets. I wouldn't do this to the point where I'm harassing women being mad thirsty but I understand what you're saying- not the best place to meet women. For the OP I think this might help him to at least gain some confidence in approaching. I've had guys do this to me a few times and I appreciated the tips.

 

Same . Except All my friends get girls and I am like the only loser among them. I don't know what to do. Fck why is this soo hard

 

Have you read models by Mark Manson?

 

It sounds as though people are offering you solutions, yet you seem to have great reasons why each won't work. Are you sure you're not just complaining? Sort of like a person with no money but rebuffing every job opportunity offered them for this or that reason, then they complain about being broke.

 

In order to get what you want you to need to truly believe that you deserve to have it. Create your own luck! There's no short cut you just have to put in the time and some effort like with all other goals. You might embarrass yourself and you might look back with immense cringe but thats part of the process. Don't be afraid of failing or embarrassing yourself. After you break thru your anxiety and make some small talk I'm certain you'll feel better about yourself. Even if the conversation leads "nowhere" that's not the point. The point is for you to see that the situation of making small talk with women is a normal thing that will not hurt you, being comfortable speaking and saying whats on your mind.
Make consistent progress and 5 years from now you'll be a completely different guy. NoFap is only a small part of you personal development. NoFap will not give you confidence, taking action does.
A few years ago I tried to ask out this girl who worked in a restaurant. I was trembling while speaking but I made it thru the interaction and found out she was married to the owner lol. In my heart I knew this probably wouldn't lead anywhere but I needed to try. The mental weight that was lifted off me felt way better than the interaction. Go after what you want bro!