No PMO after 20 years of addiction journey

Hi everyone,

I am 36 years old male. First time here.
Am am in and out in porn addiction for more than 20 years now. In the last few years it became as serious as never before due to the pandemic, loneliness, family tragedies, stress, etc.

It would be really awesome to get rid of this finally.

Exceptionally hard for me to write these lines. Not just because the addiction and shame, but because I am really not an online person. I think this is my first post in an online forum ever.

So that is it for now.
Wish you all the best!

 

Thanks for the kind words guys!

I am reached one week, that's good. With previous tries 2th and 3th week were really hard. So for now 1 month would be the first milestone, and setting the next after (without relapsing).

In the last week I watched a lot of talks about the the topic. read a lot of articles. I am trying to plant the idea in my mind how wrong porn is, how dangerous for our generations. Conditioning myself like this seems reasonable. And will see how it turns out

I will try to keep this thread alive, writing posts as a journal.

 

Hey lads, checking in on my end of second week.

I don't want to jinx it, but so far my journey is not that difficult. It was way worse in previous tries.
I know for sure it will be hard soon so I don't want to let my guards down.

I had some urges, here is a list what I did to prevent myself to open a porn site:
* I listened to a lot of music this week, I mean really listened. Lay down to my couch grabbed my best sounding headphones and actively listened. Fortunately I like more complicated music so there is a lot of information to process . And it was really good, I did not do this in the past 20 years.
* I started to learn some new stuff in my area of profession.
* Cleaned my apartment.
* Went to a long walk once.

So in general in my free time I tried to do something other than watching a movie, series or just youtube.

 

Tool is one of my all time favorite. Recently I discovered the singer's other project Puscifer, it is awesome. Revisited some of my childhood favorites for example Yes: Close to the edge, Tales from Topographic Oceans, The Mars Volta: De-Loused in the Comatorium, Rage against the machine: all. Porcupine Tree, OSI, some Opeth, etc

 

Hey hey, here is my weekly check in. This is the end of my third week.
The flatline kicked in a few days ago. I read about it here so I know it is normal.

Visiting this forum daily and reading other success stories really helped throughout the week. Helps to see where I am going.

 

Aww man! It is really nice that you are checking in. Thank you!!

Wanted to write something on the weekend, but I really didn't have anything to say. Urges are there, flatline is in progress.
I read the success stories channel a lot. When I would open a porn site, I open that channel instead and search for a good story there. It helps seeing where I am going.

And finally yesterday I reached 30 days. It is awesome. Infinite days to go

 

Hello and welcome!
I wish you strength to your journey!

If you want check in sometimes, and write about your day/week, about what did you do as a replacement of porn, etc.
If you do I'll try to sign in more regularly, and we can exchange thought/experiences.

 

Hey,
As i see - based on your counter - you've reached your first week. Congrats!
How is it going?

 

Day36
For me the last few days were really challenging. I had a lot of urges, almost slipped two times. In the mornings I had uncontrollable fantasys about various situations you can see in porn. Almost masturbated during shower.

I feel the hard part has started. I really hope it gets easier in time. Wondering maybe only a girlfriend can meant a release? Don't really know, time will tell.

Also thinking a lot about when will be the time to take the next step, and start to look for a relationship. Should I wait for 90 days, or more?

Do you have any thoughts on this?

 

I think edging is only dangerous because it can lead to open porn sites. My former attempts mostly failed because I started edging for example on 9gag nswf section and after I just couldn't stop myself to go further to porn.
So my advice would be: when you caught yourself edging just open nofap instead and read other's stories. After a few occasions it can be a habit of some kind (hopefully) .
At least this is what I do.
For me I am not considering edging a relapse, only a really dangerous activity. That is why I really try to avoid it... mostly successful

10 days is awesome. If you don't miss porn, maybe you are experiencing something I am going through. I have to say, flatline is coming. It is kind of scary, but as I read about it, it is necessary. For me it started about the second week and it is still ongoing with some pauses when I bearly can stop myself fantasizing.
But it is doable. Hang in there.

 

I was thinking about this in the last week. Not that straight forward, but I think you are eventually right.

But I have to ask, what is the definition of edging? I mean - for example - there are a lot of commercials, posters on the street, etc with woman in bikini. Is staring at these considered as edging? Should one live it's life eyes closed?