Guys I'm Fu$%ing up.

I can say I am in the same boat and I feel you. Weed doesn't help at all and I'm struggling with this as well. All I can say is try to push it out of your life as it does no good for your impulses. I will sit on your post and think about anything I can add but stay strong and always try to channel this sexual energy positively through hobbies, goals, etc. as we cant eliminate it we can only reshape it to benefit us.

 

OP...
Stop eating the edibles.

 

Hey there @ResetButton I have a bit of experience with porn and masturbation, heck it was over 40 years. Think about it - I was addicted to porn for forty years.

While listening to Craig Perra of The Mindful Habit give an interview on Matt Dobschuetz' excellent Porn Free Radio (over on recoveredman.com) he said the one thing he'd tell his younger self is "SEX IS POWERFUL". And you are in the middle of misusing that power, and the misuse is accelerating with your use of weed.

There isn't any magic to becoming porn and masturbation free, even though the power of sex is the most powerful feeling men have. It requires ACTION ON YOUR PART though! Getting online and complaining in an online forum is NOT GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU. Sorry to tell it to you straight, but after 40 years of the guilt and shame of porn and masturbation (not to mention the lies and deception, man that took a toll on my marriage, more about that in my journal if there's interest).

What kind of action? Well you can start here.

All the best to you.

 

Here are a few tips:

• If you use a smart phone to watch P, get rid of it right away. You don't need that thing. One does not need a smart phone; it is just a device that feeds your compulsions. Instead, buy a "dumb" phone and use that to communicate.
• Limit your laptop/computer time to a couple of hours a day, during the day.
  
• Put your laptop/computer in a public place.
• No video entertainment whatsoever.

If you cannot do these things then you are, quite frankly, not ready to quit. If your want to quit is greater than the want to watch P and masturbate then you will find a way. If you are not there your addict brain is still in control and you will not get anywhere.

 

You can find it here:
https://kyoceramobile.com/duraxtp/

It is an excellent phone! It is indeed durable. I have had it for about 2 years now. Only need to charge it like every 5 to 7 days.

 

I used to smoke weed almost every day and it really made nofap impossible. You should try to live sober and get hobbies and activities that you enjoy. Try everything. God bless you man.

 

I would say if you are in the financial position to do so, consider trying therapy! I have been seeing a therapist for the past four months and it has had a massive impact on my porn consumption. (However, I would also say that therapy alone is not enough, and that you need to really be ready and willing to go to therapy and make proper use of it before you sign up to it! Also, it took me a few tries with different therapists before I found a person/therapy style that suited me).

Maybe stick the money you would usually spend on edibles towards therapy?

But if you don't think therapy is for you/you can't afford it, then for me the first thing to do is to take one day at a time. Don't set yourself crazy goals which are completely unrealistic when you're just starting out trying to deal with your porn addiction (like, 'I'm going to just stop completely and never look at porn again!' - unlikely). Start with just one day. When you wake up, tell yourself 'ok, today I'm not going to look at porn' and go from there. Do some simple mindfulness exercises to ground yourself. Try to break patterns and habits - go for a walk, leave your flat, spend your day in a different room, etc. Identify the times of the day when your cravings are the worst. How are you feeling when these cravings for porn hit? If you can identify these emotional cues, you're on your way to starting to think about how you can avoid - or at least dampen - your cravings, and you get a good psychological insight into the way your wind works, which is invaluable when combatting a porn addiction!

Celebrate your victories, don't just mourn your losses. Even just a few hours managing to abstain from porn when your cravings are really putting you through the wringer is a victory, however small! We can't run before we can walk - none of us can.

 

Just started listening to that podcast recovered man. Listened to the episode where he talks about the 5 habits of porn free people. I did a 14 day pmo streak once but besides that it’s 7-10 days every once in a while. I feel like one essential thing I’m missing is an actual real life support group of some kind (and not just the internet like nofap website).

I don’t know. Maybe I should see if a local church offers free counseling; whether the person is certified or not don’t matter, but just someone I meet with weekly to talk to would be helpful. I feel like that’s the next step I’m missing. I have no real life human accountability partner. Strangers on the internet who are 1000 miles away really don’t count in my opinion (while it helps some, there is just something missing in that).

 

Well, you know that you are out of control. This is the definition of addiction. And from this anonymous voice on the internet, with over forty years of experience with a secret relationship to porn and masturbation, I did not admit this to myself. I viewed it as a secret I held, something I hid from everyone I know and love, and something I used to get high. (No I have never used any drug, masturbating made me feel high and that was enough.)

And you know the rationalizations, you know the rituals, you know know your favorite methods, you know your emotional triggers. Forget the neuroscience, we're talking about the feelings you keep stuffed down inside that trigger your porn and masturbation behavior. Wounds from your past that you use porn to self-medicate. Stresses from your present that drive you back to porn to self-medicate. Worries about your relationship with whatever women in your life that the voyeur experience of watching pixels of strangers fucking take the place of IRL relationships on the most basic level. I have been there. I have escaped that, and have in place now the structure to prevent relapse. Yes I have a written plan, a set of tools in place, you can read my post history here or my list of tools here or my story in five chapters (so far) here, or even this post on day 5 of my recovery (what actions I took).

You are fine going back to all the comforts of pornography if you want to, join the high percentage of men (who knows how high that number is, perhaps the 43% of US men that have viewed pornography in the past week) who are addicted to porn. I did this for 40 years, my life has been fine, so what?

I do not know 'what if I never got addicted to porn'. I do not know 'what if at the age of 15 or 16 I put my sexual energies into learning how to approach women, and learning how to talk with them'. (Or the age of 20. Or the age of 25. Or the age of 30. Or the age of 35. Whatever.) I do not know 'what if at the age of 30 I put my sexual energies into my budding career, into focus and mindset and clear thinking and good decision making'. I do not know 'what if at the age of 40 I put my sexual energies into my growing family, into connection and vulnerability and attention and availability.' Your porn habit will not automagically stop once you are in relationship or marriage. I do not know 'what if at the age of 50 I put my sexual energies into new frontiers of personal growth, into creative pursuits, into ideation and developing new concepts and new business ideas and new areas of personal and professional growth'.

At my age, I am not only done with porn, new avenues are opening up all around me and it hasn't even been a month. I've gone porn-free in periods of my life before, and have consistently gone back to it. Why? The reasons were manifold, the main one is this: I never had a plan before, I never had others involved with my recovery before, I never told anyone about my addiction before, I never got others involved, I never got professional help before.

I said before, YOU WILL FAIL if you do not involve others. I see plenty of complaints on this board from people behind a keyboard who are suffering, who are unwilling to do the simplest (and hard) thing: to talk with someone about their problem with porn, and not only one person but several people in different contexts (accountability partner(s), group calls or meetings, etc.) A video I'm listening to now (Dobschuetz' Five Lies of Relapse on RecoveredMan.com) quotes a person "I'm learning that I'm bad at asking for help. And this is why this addiction has been so hard for me."

We men are sexual beings (okay women are too) whose primal desire for sex is not going to go away with cold showers, knowledge about dopamine receptors and neuroplasticity, posts on message boards, reading books (although a ton of knowledge is contained in them), or some magical technique. No, there IS one magical technique, and that is to get others involved In Real Life, to be involved in a community, and a third surefire way, to get involved in the healing of others from this addiction.

Yup, this is why I'm spending valuable time writing this out, I have my own selfish reasons to help others, contradictory as that sounds.

I wish you the best in pursuing this hard thing.

 

Look masturbation is a sin. It is in the book of Genesis in the bible. Avoid masturbation as much as possible because that is your life energy it's the only energy you have with God. Stay away from masturbation stay away from it it will destroy your energy big time. You need a reason to why you want to stop masturbating like your past. If you think of how bad your past went it will not make you masturbate instead it will give motivation as to why you never want to masturbate ever again.