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I never knew

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by IamtheLiquorJD, Aug 3, 2015.

  1. IamtheLiquorJD

    IamtheLiquorJD Fapstronaut

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    I never knew how hard quoting could be. How it felt to be truly addicted to something and want and crave it all day and all night. I never knew how big of a grasp of holds on you till I tried quitting. The cost of failure is to high and the danger has never been more costly.

    There have been nights before ans last night was one of them where I found myself crying uncontrollably to the point of almost throwing up. The feeling of losing everything you love and the people you love losing them. Losing who you are and noticing how it has changed you and you hate it. You hate yourself hate what you've become.

    You lost yourself and control of your life. I would have never known how hard this could be. And I don't know how to break free. This addiction is killing me. But I have to win this fight.

    If any one has any tips you could give me to help me in my fight. Anything will help. I'm just in desperate need of help.

    Please anyone
     
    zeral and Arley like this.
  2. Arley

    Arley Fapstronaut

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    Stay connected on here, this is a wonderful resource.

    There are several 12 step recovery groups around the country that you must find ASAP. These include SLAA (sex and love addicts anonymous), SCA (sexual Compulsives anonymous), SAA (sex addicts anonymous), and SA (sexaholics) ... Google them. You might have to travel a bit to find a meeting (or you might not, in some areas there's lots of great meetings) but you must get to one of these meetings. Nothing can replace face to face contact with other addicts who are successful recovering from this addiction. Don't be afraid of being totally honest with the people you meet - while many of them are healthy high functioning members of society now, they know what the deal is, they've been where you are. They've literally done it all.

    I'm here for you.
     
    zeral and Purity of Speech like this.
  3. Purity of Speech

    Purity of Speech Fapstronaut

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    connecting with ppl is great.
    one thing to realize is that it doesn't stay this bad for too long, if you can resist. it feels like it's going to be forever but it's only ever really bad for a short period. in fact, the far greater problem is becoming lazy because it doesn't seem so bad or like you can be in control.
    even in the worst period there tend to be moments of sanity or possibilities to turn away. like when you are posting here.
    try to make a list of all your resources (there's tons to be found in this forum) and then just massive attack. the very planing and executing already will give you a lot of hope.
     
  4. Have you ever asked yourself what the root cause of your addiction might be? These are important and serious questions that are more than worth asking. There are emotional reasons for every physical addiction. We don't do things for no reason. Just got to allow yourself to dig deep, my friend.

    There could possibly be unhealed childhood emotions as to why you turn to PMO as an outlet/way of escaping.

    Your addiction could also be related to unhealed emotions towards women. There are many reasons as to why different men turn to PMO as a means of escaping from reality. Once you find the causal emotions, you can then break the addiction. Let yourself feel the buried emotions, whether it be loneliness, insecurities or suppressed anger towards women. There could be many things. Just got to be honest with yourself, man.

    That, and shear willpower. Any addiction can destroy your life. Yes, you're absolutely correct about that. Sometimes one just has to ask themselves how bad they want something. You are the captain of your own soul. Your addiction does not have to control you. You should read all of the success stories, bro. People do break free, when they really desire to.
     
    zeral likes this.
  5. IamtheLiquorJD

    IamtheLiquorJD Fapstronaut

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    First I'd love to thank you all today I have been able to get 100% free which wasn't easy because it was a fight all day. So thank you all for commenting.

    I have looked into sex addicts anonymous and considered it. I'm leaving for 3 weeks so I won't be able to go to one till I get back but I found out that help is out there.

    I had a couple questions. Should I substation from sex with my girlfriend? I don't believe I'm sex addicted and I think it helps me fight my addiction because it brings me closer to her and we have a really good relationship build on love Nd friendship. I don't know tho if that is right that it actually helps me.

    Second question is my addiction ramped up to a new level of contacting other girls via craigslist casual encounters. That took place when my girlfriend broke up with me for another guy in January for the same guy she sorta cheated on me with while I was away is basic training. It didn't work out again we got back together but I was all alone and destroyed looking for someone to save me from my depression. That's what I'm.having trouble with now with my addiction. Could I be turning to this addiction because I don't trust her and feel hurt?
     
  6. Arley

    Arley Fapstronaut

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    Well, in those programs they'll most likely suggest taking at least some sort of break from everything for a while.

    It's sounds like it's impacting your life in profound ways. Which I totally u set stand btw.
     
  7. Purity of Speech

    Purity of Speech Fapstronaut

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    as far as sex with your gf is concerned, perhaps have a look at karezza, a kind of non-orgasmic soft sex, which focusses on building a nourishing connection.
    the problem with orgasmic sex is the dopamine addiction and consequent hangover, which, according to author marnia robinson, leads to all kinds of problems - addictive behavior but also relationship problems - for about 2 weeks after.
    google marnia robinson or karezza and you should find plenty of good material on those views; i have them from the book 'cupid's poisoned arrow'.
    the problem with forcing a gf with cheating inclination into abstention would at the very least appear to me to generate fear and insecurity but also maybe other relationship problems.
     
  8. Purity of Speech

    Purity of Speech Fapstronaut

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    as far as the causes for addiction are concerned, it's best to be honest and say they are speculative. the main benefit of such soul-searching is that it can shift the perspective on addictive behavior from cool & fun to sad, desperate & hopeless. in consequence it generates a kind of humility.
    generally speaking, destabilizing social conditions of all kinds make things worse for addicts because they are already not very secure in their attachments. some even see addiction as self-medication for bonding problems. see this touching TED talk on this view...
     

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