The Lord of the Rings Challenge

well, i don´t know bro, honestly. it was by innocence, it was probably autopilot, but the truth is you certantly had some degree of masturbation which lead to an ejaculation.

the problem is what´s gonna happen next. the addicted mind will take hold of that and start chanting that in those situations, with a certain degree of autopilot, and no images involved, then it´s ok, you can do it again. see where this is going?

don´t make concessions on what is masturbation or not, making concessions is the addiction playground. put it in practical terms, if you feel is fair to reset the counter, then reset. if you feel is fair to continue the counter, then continue. it´s up to you

 

long time no see bro . Good that you´re on the right path

 

Very good bro. Keep it up

 

Checking in Fellowship!!

Proudly among the Hall of Fame now, i´m a Hobbit!!! and what a hobbit! no porn, no masturbation, no sex, no orgasm, no peeking, nothing!! 5/5 . I´m steady on my path and continuing that way



Let´s welcome our new member:

@bsdk_chutiya_ho_kya

Nothing more to report among the Companion today. Here is a powerful post from JK Emezi, this may be a bit shocking but, once again, the point is to open the mind.

Have a great day my brothers and sisters, love you all!!!


"At least i didn´t cheat on my wife"


Hey brother,


Today, while responding to some emails from married men who struggled with quitting porn, I discovered a common theme.


If you are a married man who is unable to control his behavior with porn and masturbation, you likely feel that you have some "virtue" or redeeming quality which justifies your behavior.


Personally, in my porn addict days, my go-to was "At least I'm not doing drugs"


For you it might be some variation of:

" At least I still provide for my family"

"I'm always there for the kids"

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her.."

But the one justification I’d like to write about today is a particularly dangerous one.

" At least I don't cheat on my wife/girlfriend"

Don't get me wrong- lots of porn addicts have sex with women outside the confines of their marriage.

In fact, many men who were stepping out on their partners now find it especially challenging due to the restrictions imposed by the pandemic.

But men in a committed relationship who watch porn and never actually have sex with other women, in my professional experience, end up experiencing more pain as their behavior progresses.

The emails, messages and coaching calls with men in this category have a predictable plot. Unfortunately, men in this category absolutely refuse to accept the possibility of the consequences I will describe in this email until its too late.

Allow me to breakdown why "I don't cheat on my wife/partner" excuse is the most dangerous of all.

Firstly, it shows that you place your sexual commitment to your wife or partner above all other commitments.

You elevate its importance to such a high level that lying, spending time with porn instead of her, wasting money via under performing at your career, and loss of attraction to her due to your conditioning to porn are justified as "lesser evils".

The interesting thing is that it isn't your love, partnership, caring or interest in your partner that is held as a strong virtue.

It's your sexual commitment to her.

This raises the question:

Why is sexual commitment to your partner more important than everything else?

Perhaps it societal and religious conditioning.

Maybe it’s the fear of thinking that she’ll leave you if she finds out you’ve been having sex with other women.

Or you can’t bear the thought of hurting her…

Whatever the reason might be- one thing is certain: Married or attached men who carry this belief suffer more than other men for a few reasons I have observed.

1)In many cases, your wife or girlfriend will end the relationships. Over 80% of divorces are initiated by the female spouse. Fact: In nature, it is the female in a species who determines how long a relationship (pair bonding) lasts. Not the man.

2)There is a high chance that when your wife or girlfriend finds out, she will treat your behavior with porn as infidelity anyway. Even if she was previously "cool" with you watching porn, as it becomes apparent that you have a problem, you'll be treated as if you were having sex with multiple women. This is simply her way of emotionally processing your"problem". Since she doesn't understand you "just can't stop", she'll come to the conclusion that you obviously crave sex with other women.
3) During those years of using the “I didn’t cheat on you” excuse, you built up a serious collection of deal breaking relationship traits. Lying, shame, anger, secrecy in parts of your life which did not require secrecy, manipulation and gas lighting (that’s where you manipulate your partner into thinking she’s “overreacting” or crazy).

If or when your relationship ends, all that’s left is you and these traits which you never prioritized.

4) In modern society- particularly in Western countries, many women will not simply leave a relationship until they find another secure one. This means that she will stay married or “with” you but separated until she finds someone else to be with. In blunt terms- she’ll start having sex with someone else while you are both still in a relationship.

Think this can't/won’t happen to you?
Visit our free Facebook group. There are dozens of painful stories( and solutions) from men whose wives and partners ended up having affairs shortly after they found out about their husbands porn addiction.

Sometimes it’s a woman's way of coping with the pain and “getting even” .

“I’ll make you feel how I feel”.

Unfortunately, in most cases it works a little too well.

For the man who held “ At least I never cheated on her” as a virtue, the pain of her actions is absolutely devastating.

All those years of patting yourself on the back, telling yourself you weren’t hurting her…

You think about all the “opportunities” you had to cheat but “chose” to watch porn and masturbate instead because you were a “good husband/boyfriend”…

…it was all for nothing.


She fucked someone else. Your porn warped mind can’t help but replay a hundred different ways it must have happened.

It breaks your heart to think that YOUR wife. YOUR woman is having sex with someone else.

But it doesn’t end there.

She’s a woman.

She’s got 99 problems, but finding a willing dick isn’t one of them.

In your case, however, Mr “At least I didn’t cheat on my wife”… you may find that it isn’t quite the case.

Not only have you been out of the dating game for a while, but you’re also a porn addict.A porn addict who just torpedoed his relationship and found out that his partner is having sex with other men because as far as she’s concerned, you’re done.

You’re struggling with PIED.

You’ve lost your confidence because you no longer have the support of a relationship.

You’ve spent years in isolation and fantasy. You only non-work related interaction with women is ogling at them in public or masturbating with them on chat sites.

You have no idea how to deal with the pain…so you dive deeper into your addiction.

I'll stop here because this is painful for me to write.

There are men out there going through this right now.

If you are one of those men, I want you to know that regardless of how your relationship turns out, one thing is certain: You must end your compulsive behavior with porn and masturbation to experience true happiness and contentment in your relationship.

Losing a relationship to porn hurts.

Having a partner have sex with another man is frustratingly painful.

But you will move on from it.

You will heal.

And you will be happy again.

Just remember that whatever we perceive to be our strongest virtue does not excuse our selfish behavior.

Your brother in this struggle,

J.K Emezi