In dire need of advice I want to die at this point

Hi man, I took the time to read the whole thread before answering you, I'm French so sorry in advance for my English.
First of all, know that you are not your mind, we are much more vast than our mind...
The mind is just a tool among ourselves and this tool can become both very devastating and a heavy burden when it takes over ourselves.
Secondly, no matter what you have done, there is always a real hope and it is not in your mind but in your deepest being, that is to say in all your integrity, in the greatness of your consciousness.
Your mind has to be ignored or simply observed until it takes its place and is no longer the master on board.
Concentrate instead on your whole body, bring all your consciousness into the present moment and into your body and you will make the mind shut up by itself because consciousness is much more powerful and bigger than the mind.
After that your mind will be clearer and more relaxed and it is only then that you will have to learn the necessary lessons from the act you have done.
We have to learn from our mistakes no matter how big they are.
The mind will eat up all your energy if you give it too much importance, leave it in its corner by bringing all your intention into your body and your consciousness.
Dwell on your body fully until you find more vitality to begin the fight that will follow, that of repentance and the end of this terrible addiction.
I strongly advise you to read the book "The power of the present moment" by Eckhart Tolle.
Order it on Amazon as soon as you have finished reading my commentary and read it as soon as possible.
Dwell in your body, trust God and everything will eventually get better with a lot of perseverance and fighting spirit.
Sometimes you have to go through the darkness to wait for the light.
I count on you to read the book, strength to you!

 

Sir, probably you have acted out in some way that bothers you extremely. Firstly, it is not clear to us as we cannot really imagine what you have gone through however, you must apply to a professional very soon since none of us here is not any entities over this. Maybe that would be more convenient to give some advice after hearing the story but even that appears to be difficult to you. Just do not give up, most of us had kind of experience and gruesome acts that were heart-wrenching, but you must accept the fact that it has happened.

And now look for a solution to alleaviate it as much as possible to create a better mental condition to think clearly. Pornography is on a constant demand, as long as you overindulge, it keeps pulling you back into more terrifying scenarios. Most of us knows this... hope you get that resilience once again!

 

Is this about the poop fetish?

 

bruh...

 

Just wondering, because he doesn't want to say his fetish so in my mind I was guessing either transsexual fetish, poop, pee or vomit fetish. But since he said it's nothing compared to what other members have shared, and the transsexual is often shared, I scratched that one off and then checked what I would consider the most extreme out of the other 3 and it would be the poop one (with the vomit being close second place). So far he has not answered yet so I think I might be right.

 

I see you're a regular in the forums

 

So if all the extremes are called out, and you said you didn't do them, and you also said you didn't do anything illegal, then surely it's not as bad as you might think.