10 years of PMO, now 30+ days of NoFap

In first comment let’s introduce about myself! Here is my story from the beginning.
Started to M (masturbate) at age of 13. As boy I wasn’t addicted to P (porn). I used to fantasize about naked girls, sex. Very often had erection and did MO (masturbation + orgasm) multiple times per day. Quality of erection didn't lose. By time it became even stronger, my dick and balls became bigger how it use to be in age of puberty. In that time I didn’t realize that I will suffer from PIED.

First time did PMO at age 23. But I did it rare and I had a girlfriend. I get erection very easily in my 20s. The only thing I had to do was just think about nude girl or easily touch penis and I got very hard and strong erection. Sex quality was very good. I was able to control when I want to cum and when I want to keep doing the things. Even under alcochol I could maintain strong erection and didn’t feel any problems at all. Recovery period was short - maybe half day and I was ready to make love again even with ugly girl.

At age of 25 got bald and shaved my hair off. I don’t know what caused my men’s baldness. Is it excessive MO or just because of genes? With girlfriend (I mean sex with girl) or not (here I mean MO) my men’s baldness progressed anyway. Or maybe my men’s baldness were affected by both reasons.

At age of 26 I lost my job and girlfriend left me. Had no money, had no girlfriend, had no dating girls. Had a computer, had videos, had a strong libido. As unemployed I idled at home and started to do PMO multiple times per day. I thought I was doing normal, good things. Didn’t know that I was inducing erectile disfunction. No one told me that damages our brain.

At age of 28 I got a new job. However my salary was very, very low and I lived in a cheap, uncomfortable, shameful flat. It would be failure to invite girl to that flat. I had no money for dating girl payments. So sometimes I just attended public events, nightclubs, pubs, bars or whatever you call them and lived normal social life. Although I am not self confident person somehow I used to know girls and spoke with them.

At age of 30 I danced with girl very close and sexual in nightclub and almost get cumshot in trousers.

At age of 32 still felt an erection in a very close position with very, very sexy girl. Involved a new PMO method called Edging. It is when you watch P and do M, reach till a orgasm point and then slow down and repeat this process again and again. Kept doing PMO multiple times per day. Didn’t see a coming problem. It was very difficult to establish intimate relationship with girl because of lack of money and my androgenic alopecia. With hair I looked much better.

At age of 33 sometimes at night I felt sharp pain in rectum (anus) area. It was awful, like some one cutting me with knife.

At age of 34 I started to rent a normal apartment flat. Started to use dating sites and meet girls, give them flowers, pay them for cinema, alcohol drinks . Finally one night I get woman in bed. She was 39. And what a “surprise”! I wasn’t able to erect penis. In other words – I had a PIED, I was impotent! We didn’t immediately broke up and were in relationship about 9 months. In the sex I still felt normal libido, urges to f*ck some girl. When I get blowjob I felt nothing special. My senses were gone. It was very, very hard to arouse and lost erection very fast. I still did a PMO. But now PMO frequency was much rare. It was harder and harder to arouse even while watching P.

At age of 35 I get a new a bit better payed job. I still had a dreams, my own strong goals and focus on them. CEO’s were contented about my progress.

Dating life was included in my weekly plans often. Didn’t have to wait very long and get a girl in bed again. She was 32, thin, normal beautiful girl. And what a shame! How do you think what happened? Yes, correct. I had no erection! What a blame! She left me immediately. I felt very, very disappointed.

 

After these failures I strongly decided to cure myself from PIED and do NoFap. So what was my situation on birthday of 36:

The bad symptoms

• Have no morning woods
• Have premature ejaculation
• Not aroused by real girls
• Not aroused by P
• Have PIED
• I can arouse manually only with my hand
• Erection is no more so strong how it use to be
• Erection loses very, very fast
• After friction and ejaculation have long recovery period
• Penis is numb. Even during blowjob I lose erection
• Have uncontrollable urges to M
• Maybe I had kind of fog in my mind. I don’t know. But I still was able to think normal, my life wasn’t ruined and went to my goals.
• I don’t feel happy.
• Have men’s baldness
• After M sometimes at night I feel awful pain in rectum (anus) area

Good things and habits what I still retain

• I am social active, attend public events, nightclubs, meet the girls, have no social anxiety etc.
• Have normal libido. Girls on streets always seems beautiful to me.
• Attend gym, have normal figure
• Have my own goals, work on them
• I am still normally emotional, calm person, don’t feel anger

 

At age of 36 I strictly quit PMO. Of course it was very hard to do NoFap. I would say impossible. Urges were uncontrollable. I drastically reduced sessions of MO and never did PMO. Sometimes at night I still felt sharp pain in anus area. Duration of pain seizures were about 20 minutes. Had a feeling I could defecate these pains out and went to toilet. In sitting position pain decreased, but when I laid down the pain became strong again. If you guys read this maybe comment do you have experienced this symptom also?
As first positive sign appeared morning wood. It returned and occurred often and often and stronger and stronger So became time to check out my ability to make love with girl. I went to a kind of event to nightclub as usual I do in weekends. Took some beers, get drunk and get a girl to laid. Of course this my one night stand was a disaster. My penis was numb, shrinken and unable to erect. She wasn’t talk to me anymore, obviously felt disappointed about me.
Reduced frequency of MO much more. Now I did it a few times per week. Sometimes even once per week. Tried to prolong NoFap streaks, but it was too hard for me.

At age of 37 I tried to have sex again. Girl was sexy, with beautiful legs. We did foreplay, kissed each other, I felt aroused. It was good. But my dick still was limp. Then she touched my dick, probably wanted a little bit jerk it to arouse it. An what a shame – I came! I had an orgasm!
The time went… was beautiful summer … and I had to add two sexual intercourse failures again. And then came a new era in our lives called Covid lockdown era. The pubs, nightclubs were closed, many people took serious this pandemic, girls were inactive on dating sites and I set alone in my room counting days of NoFap and chatting with my mates. Once I counted 22 days of NoFap, but usually I held 6 days streak.

 

Thanks! But I am familiar with this. Sometimes I do it before sleep.

 

Now I am 38. What benefits I got after 16 months of no PMO and easy mode NoFap:

• Have morning woods, have nocturnal erections
• When I kiss girl I feel a little arousal
• Sometimes when I think about sex I feel a small dick movement (about 4% erection)
• Penis a little bit regained sensitiveness. It’s not more SO numb.
• After sex recovery period reduces

Bad symptoms what I still got:

• It’s very hard to arouse. I can arouse manually only with my hand
• I still have kind of PIED
• Have PE (premature ejaculation)
• Have big urges to M
• Erection is still not strong how it should be
• After sex recover period is still more than 3 days. After 3-4 days or more my dick feels fresh.

 

This 30+ days of NoFap period I started with P (photo) + O (orgasm) without masturbation. How it is possible? I tried to find my Tinder girls on facebook. So I saw there beautiful girls, fantasied about sex with them. Apparently my fantasies were very strong and I had an orgasm without touching myself. Is it relapse?

 

In continuation I started to date one girl. Since I had about 20 days of NoFap I tried to check out my ability to have sex. When I kissed her I had about 20% erection, what of course is great. When I started a vaginal sex my erection was about 70% , wasn't enough strong to put in. So I tried penetrate about 5 times with hand stimulation to cause stronger erection. Somehow I did it. Important to mention I used condom what caused less pleasant senses. I would say that wasn't normal sex intercourse. Theoretically I am able to make woman pregnant, but I am not able to do sex.

 

It’s 2 months since my last MO session and about 2 years I abstain from PMO. So I think I can note a mark that I am cured from PIED. It’s just a mark – cured. But in true I still have problems.
In these last two months I did kind a experiment with myself. I tried to have sex, get blowjobs. In a short – healed myself with a real woman. I had sexual intercourse about 2 times per week.

So what benefits I got after two months of NoFap and sexual intercourse with woman:

• Still have morning woods, nocturnal erections
• When I kiss girl I have about 20% erection
• When I fantasize about sex sometimes I have about 20% erection.
• Blowjob feels somehow good, but it’s still nothing special
• I am able to penetrate penis in vagina
• After sex recovery period slowly reduces

Bad symptoms what I still got:

• It’s hard to arouse. I need long sexual stimulation to arouse.
• Erection is still about 80%. I can penetrate in vagina, but my penis is wobble. I am limited in sex positions. When I put out penis it loses strength.
• Have PE (premature ejaculation). Duration of vaginal sex usually is about 1 – 2 minutes.
• Vaginal sex or blowjob feels good, but it’s nothing special
• I still have urges to M (masturbate).
• Have no spontaneous erections (about 10 years or more)