60 days of glory, a lifetime of shame. (must read)

Hey, I would recommend trying out new stuff that you can do IRL. I have found reading, walking, exercising, yoga, stretches, meditating, cooking and eating healthy and some times not so healthy delicious foods, learning new skills (chess, guitar), building furniture etc. These are just examples - figure out what you enjoy! Sometimes these activities will be awful and PMO seems like the better thing to do but then you will have to fight the urges, it will get easier over time. Just do not add too many activities at once, start small and add when you feel like you have more energy and time!

Being idle has caused a lot of relapses to me in the past - you said that you finished your studies, maybe you could apply to the next step of education etc or apply for a job. This will also improve your social skills since you will meet people, it can be hard but take it as practice and you will learn!

Faith has given me reason to do stuff and give my life a purpose. I am 22 now and I was also in a dark place when I was around your age. Keep pushing, stay strong and God bless you man. You are here to improve yourself and the streaks you have gotten are WAY better than the ones I had when I was your age. You got this!

 

“Sex is not even that great” lmaoo ok

 

Yes, one of the biggest costs of porn and masturbation addiction is the lost time. That one hits the hardest, if you add up all the hours looking and searching and (in my case since I hoarded it) cataloging it. The money too, for some, who progress from porn to other forms of acting out.

I sincerely hope you mean what you have said here, because the work to leave is not easy work. You cannot leave an addiction to pornography due to its essential nature: it has infinite variety that no girlfriend or spouse could even possibly compare to; it has infinite anytime-of-day-or-night availability that no human could ever compete with, either anytime or anyplace; in addition to these things it is in many cases free of charge.

And then there's the emotional drivers of pornography use on top of the above. Bored? Porn is a great entertainment. Tired? Porn can revive your energy. Lonely? Porn is a great companion. Frustrated? Porn can relieve your feeling bad. Anxious? Porn will relax you.

As Matt Dobschuetz said in Episode 107 (or was it 108, could have been 109, I listened to several of these yesterday), Pornography wasn't the Problem, it was the Solution! (The solution to my emotional needs above).

OP you are much younger than I am (feel free to check out my journal). Believe me when I say your willingness to do anything will be tested. Are you willing to change? At your fundamental level of who you are? Because the drivers of your loneliness, your frustration, your emotional needs are wired into pornography and masturbation. No wonder it's basically impossible to recover from a pornography addiction without the help of others.

I posted the below before on this site, food for thought.

Community, and talking about your emotional needs, is the answer. Like it or not, you have associated feelings (and applicable to some and not to everybody) of loneliness, sadness, boredom, sometimes excitement, sometimes celebration, frustration with the rush of endless porn variety and the rush of masturbation and orgasm. I am developing new habits; I am talking openly with my spouse of many years, I am accountable twice a day to an accountability partner, I have porn blockers on my phone and computer, I no longer bring my phone to bed with me, I journal daily, I exercise at least twice per week, I have a clear consequence for a slip (back to PMO) that will last 30 days, I have a clear reward for going for an entire month PMO free.

And I am learning how to handle my feelings, after 40+ years of numbing my consciousness with PMO, and learning to express them with Real Life People around me. And meeting new people on this site (I found my AP here) to help me - and I can help others in return.

 

the whole covid period is shit for everyone, my psychologist said that never had so much clients before. I had a terrible break up before the lockdown, so my way was easy to fall back after 6 month. This period is fucking hard. If you are not a social type, you can not play it, and you won't be from one moment to an other.
But learning language, reading, doing short but intense workout can help. I listen calming music, no hard noises. And when I almost collapse, I just sit in the corner of my room, and try to think about the people who love me, I have to show them that they can count on me.
A pornaddicted idiot can not help, but I am more then that. You are more than that. Make a list about the stuff what you will do tomorrow. Vacuum clining your room, reading 5 pages from a book, walking a mile in the area where you are living. Little steps will make better progression, belive me, I finished already 3 times, and I know that it is possible. Now after a hard fallback, I am doing it for the forth time, now almost 90 hours without porn. Little steps, just really little steps. Try to find some job as soon as possible. Do not give up. I was shaking today because of the withdrawal symptoms, but I do not give up. You shouln't either.

 

gg

 

Double additions is a super hard situation. I know how you feels. Even you have every right condition yet deep in your heart some feeling of fear and resistance would stop you to grab the 'chances'. All you need to do is to start a new journey where no pmo or video games get between your life decisions. Be humble and never reply to your conditions. Life is full of luck and other factors. So, you should be patient instead anxious.

 

Check out the thousands of recovery stories on You Brain On Porn. Find support in real life if you can. Exercise daily. Time in nature is good too. Avoid bingeing if you relapse. Have you tried meditation?

All the best with your recovery. You've had a taste. You can do it.

 

Where do you livr bro ?

 

I respect your opinion, 100%, but I disagree with you, sex is amazing! Porn isn't tho, blugh