Sex.

You cannot get her out of your head because sex is a binding act like marriage joining two souls as one.

 

Try to focus on other things like: books, reading etc.. to forget her

 

I'm going to disagree with alexandrebois. I think that the only way you'll be able to deal with the thought of your ex is to fully embrace the thoughts. Feel them, sink into them, understand them, and make friends with them. I've always dealt with past memories the same way as yourself, J053H, but it made me fear them. Imagine your mind is a house, and your thoughts on your ex are a monster outside. If you don't let that monster in, you grow to fear whats outside and it becomes a bigger issue than it originally was. If you open the door, invite the monster in, it might be painful at first, but that is the only way to understanding the memories and dealing with the pain. Ultimately, you must suffer to heal. I'm not sure if this made any sense but I would recomend an afternoon to be by yourself without any electronics or distractions, and being brutally honest with yourself about your memories of your ex.

 

You need tiiiiiiiiiiiime. And yeah, deal with those thoughts to get them out of your system.
Some people just leave a bigger mark on our lifes, that's just how it is.

The deeper the connection, the better the sex and how much you were attracted at the time all play major roles on how difficult it is to live your life without that other person.
But we all can get over someone.

And I agree with this

even though he makes it seem easier said than done.

 

Well it's been six years of whining and crying and here I am, just beginning to let her go. It was a disastrous and mad experience. So yes, I get what you say, and I think jrm61 here is on the spot. You can't escape when that thoughts come in. Eventually the monster will see you right in the face. However yes, you should do other activities and try to grow your own life too.

 

Okay, I'm going to get a bit dark here....Back in my 20's I had a 4 year relationship. When she ended it, telling me she had "Divided Loyalties and was having sex with someone else, I was devastated. I whined and cried and moped for a while. I kept thinking about what it was like having sex with her and then getting sad because she was doing that to someone else. Then I got ANGRY and started hitting it really hard at the Gym. I got filthy ripped. And I felt great. I went out with and had sex with all her friends I had met that said what a great guy I was. I just basically told them how crushed I was and they just had to "console" me. I felt like shit afterwards, because I was only really trying to get back at her.

The guys at the Gym were great. We'd rip on each other and joke and have a great time. Suddenly I had Bros! We were the Wolf Pack of the Gym. Then I started meeting some of the girls at the gym and well, before you know it I was no longer thinking of what was her name anyways. Or her stupid friends.

I not only moved on with my life, I improved it. That's my goal her at NoFap: not just to move on from Porn addiction but to improve my life. Find a replacement that improves your life. Invest in YOU.

 

There are already so many responses to this post . . . and yet I don't get the original post.
@J053H32n4nd32 are you healed or are you struggling? What have you been talking about that feels so healthy? How has God healed you? If it has been years since you had sex with your ex, why are you thinking about it now? Have you been thinking about it for years? Have you had sex with anyone else since then?

 

I'm right there with you. Didn't quite understand the post and now I think I replied to something he wasn't even talking about. Would be curious to see what the initial post meant.