Stoic Recollections and Realizations

Last year, I got Ryan Holiday's The Daily Stoic, a yearly devotional about the principles of stoicism, along with Lives of the Stoics, Seneca's Letters from a Stoic, and Marcus Aurelius' Meditations. I had several friends in my AP group (A, F, G, and N) who helped me begin my insight into stoicism and so I started reading Seneca and the devotional last month. I finished Seneca a few days ago and was contemplating where to write my thoughts when I realized that I could make a journal/thread to gather the thoughts together in one place. If I enjoy this a lot, I may even use the thread as a foundation for a book on stoicism, but I'm not going to get too ahead of myself at the moment. I intend to update this every month with what I learned from the section I read the previous month as well as any stoic texts or books on stoicism I read as well.

Clarity

One of the things that stuck out to me right away was how I've always struggled with clarity and to have a clear understanding of myself and the world around me. I used to worry about so many things that were out of my control, that my friends were going through and wished I could do something about. It only took me several days of getting into the devotion that I realized two things:

1. I was focusing on the things I couldn't control more than what I could control.

2. Years of PMO and denial about several aspects of myself had muddied the waters, fogged the air in my mind, and presented a false illusion I followed.

With the first item, Ryan Holiday begins the devotion (and year) with a piece of control and choice. This rings clear to me because no matter what I try to do, I can't control my friends and the choices they make. I can't control what they believe in, what their passions are, etc. That's their will and it's ultimately left up to them to decide the direction their will's going in, good or bad. I can't control the choices they make because it's out of my control. I've learned to let that thought go and since then, I've not been affected when people block me or one of my AP friends had a relapse because I know that no matter what I would've done, the final choice was their alone and out of my control to prevent it. The same could be said of the circumstances I've found myself in. I can't change the abuse I went through as a child. No amount of magic can change that, but I can control how it affects me and has a grasp over my life. I can control how I decide to make the most of each day, what pursuits to follow, etc. I can't control if a plane's late or if a tree falls on my house, but I can control being mindful and not giving in to negativity.

This leads me to the second focus: mindset. Both the devotion and Seneca's Letters (which will get its own post sometime this week) helped me understand a lot about the mind and that lead me to understand more about clarity and mindset. For years, I resented aspects of myself that couldn't be changed because they were imperfect and made me fall short of the man I aspired to be. Seneca made me realized that the image I was portraying was too ideal and that in accepting my flaws and limits, I accepted my true self. For years, I felt such a stigma about the way I talked and how the childhood trauma damaged my voice, but that burden's gone. I no longer feel ashamed of my voice because while what happened was out of my control and so is the tone of my voice. I can't change it, but I can accept it. This acceptance of the limits of my mind and the clarity that comes with it goes alongside the three main disciplines of stoicism:

• Control your perception
• Direct your actions properly
• Accept what's outside your control

I've learned to accept what's outside of my control the easiest because of what Seneca taught me in his letters. Control and directing are still being worked on, but I've gained valuable insight about my actions and the perception of my mind through meditation and taking the time to unwind a few minutes each day. Meditation helps me gain more control over myself and my emotions. I've always been an emotional person, but January was the first time I can recall my emotions not affecting me. I didn't have depressed anxious moments and only had a sad moment once and an angry moment twice. Besides those three incidents, I was happy and tranquil, a rare feat given that I used to be melancholic during the winter months. I mean, I've been smiling, laughing, and having people notice this change in me. It's a strong change, stronger than what I was expecting, but good because it's making me rise to the occasion and show myself that I've overcome the most burden difficulties and can accept what I can't and can do now. They say that the sky's the limit, but I think that it's the mind that's the limit for we can't control what's in the sky, but we can control what's in the mind.

We also know that in addition to the three disciplines mentioned above, seven other functions of the mind are crucial to achieving clarity:

• Choice (to do and think right)
• Refusal of temptation
• Yearning to be better
• Repulsion of negativity, of bad influences. of what isn't true
• Preparation for what lies ahead or whatever may happen
• Purpose (our guiding principle and highest priority)
• Assent to be free of deception about what's inside and outside our control (and be ready to accept the latter)

All of these things have helped me define myself better under the context of clarity because each choice I make is on my own doing. Only I'm the one responsible for what I think and how I follow through with those thoughts, mostly good, but sometimes wrong. My mind's responsible for refusing to give into temptation, expelling negativity, finding my purpose, etc. All of this lies at my feet. It's in my control and the hindsight of clarity because since I was a child, I've known the difference between right and wrong, good and evil, and everything comes down to the choice I make. All of these notions lead me to PMO. Reading more about the stoic notions of clarity and the three disciplines has also helped me grasp a better understanding of what causes me to turn to PMO, how I can combat it, why I don't want it in my life going forward, etc.

I recently had a mental conversation with myself (and then with God) about my sexuality and all the confusion I went through. Ever since that day, I've felt peace and acceptance come over me and that I've got a definitive answer about myself from him. No one will know what I said except for me and him. Not even this journal will give it away for while I went through something no one should ever go through, letting go and accepting the peace/healing in my control so I finally stepped forward to grab hold of what's been waiting on me for several years. I don't need instant gratification to heal me, but clarity and a sense of understanding of what I had denied about myself about my character and my struggle against PMO. Epictetus writes in Enchiridion that

"Some things are in our control, while others are not. We control our opinion, choice, desire, aversion, and in a word, everything of our own doing. We don't control our body, property, reputation, position, and, in a word, everything not of our own doing. Even more, the things in our control are by nature free, unhinged, and unobstructed, while those not in our control are weak, slavish, can be hindered and not our own."

I slightly disagree with him about the body (but more on that when I discuss Seneca later on in the week) because Epictetus was not a stoic, but a lot of his quotes and writings have been quoted by stoic writers. Why so? Because he's right about our opinions, choices, desires, etc. These are all stoic notions that we can learn to control. We can't control things that aren't our own doing. Like, how can we control thunder striking your house? Or a sinkhole forming in your backyard? We can't. These are things that are out of our control. We can't control the house we live in if we didn't build it nor the land it's on, but we can control the environment with our choices. We can decide what's good for the home, what's good for ourselves, and what's good for our well being.

It's like what Carrie Fisher writes in Postcards From the Edge, that maturity is a stoic response to endless reality. How do we become mature? By having clarity and a better understanding of what we can and can't control.

This is reality. Clarity is the reality around us.

 

I still struggle with emotions at times, but it's gotten a lot better thanks to stoicism and learning how to meditate while taking my thoughts to a more tranquil place. I understand about getting emotional if things don't turn out the way you want or when people do things you don't like. As an aspie, I totally get it, but if you're wanting a change, you should look more into this.

I'm referring to the fact that I wasn't being honest/clear about some aspects of my PMO addiction and I couldn't understand why. Make sense?

 

Letters from a Stoic

The first stoic text that I decided to read for my stock dive was Seneca's letters. Now it wasn't the complete letters for only 40 of his 135 letters were in the edition I read, but despite it being selections, I enjoyed reading the letters and I was surprised that I managed to get the book done in around three weeks, which averaged to around 10-12 letters a week. Before I dive into the letters themselves, I'll admit that reading the letters made me understand why Seneca was the worst stoic hypocrite, but also a great example to learn from. Stoics are taught not to worry about things beyond their control, not to be obsessed with material wealth, not to engage in a lifestyle that derails them from their virtues, and Seneca does everything. He ponders about the state of affairs in Rome, frequently discusses his wealth, and was known to be one of the richest men in his lifetime. Some might argue that Seneca's decadence makes him a bad example, but I disagree and argue that his decadence is actually a good example of the struggle people face when trying to live a good, balanced life, but find it impossible to leave behind their decadence and wealth that ensure them financial security and prosperity. People are always going to struggle in the conflict of happiness vs. wealth, always finding themselves on one side or the other. I think Seneca was trying to go for a middle of the lane approach, but I digress.

In reading the letters, I find that their rhetoric and style of writing is beautiful. It's no wonder some considered Seneca to be second to Cicero for Seneca writes in ways that reflect Cicero's mastery of rhetorical arts. Each passage brings something new to the table and re-reading it brings about a new meaning (much like the way Chesterton's writings do). The letters are personal in nature and are crucial in understanding the final years of Seneca's life and the mindset he maintained until his stoic suicide in 68. They're also philosophical and gave me a lot to think about in terms of philosophy, life, and gave me more detailed observations into the stoic mindset.

Speaking of which, now's the time to come to what I promised to discuss: the control of the body. The stoics learned from Epitectus that the body's out of their control and we see some indications of this in Letter XV when Seneca writes to Lucilius that

"Without wisdom, the mind is sick, and the body itself. however physically powerful, can only have the kind of strength that is found in persons in a demented or delirious state. So this is the sort of healthiness you must make your principal concern. You must attend to the other sort as well, but see that it takes second place. It won't cost you any good trouble if good health is all you want. For it is... no way for an educated man to behave, to spend one's time exercising the biceps, broadening the neck and shoulders and developing the lungs. Even when the extra feeding has provided gratifying results and you're put on a lot of muscle, you'll never match the strength or the weight of a prize ox. The greater load, moreover, on the body is crushing to the spirit and renders it less active. So keep the body within bounds as much as you can and make room for the spirit."

In the basic form, Seneca believes that physical exercise and well being are out of our control and that we should put more emphasis on our minds and spirits. However, when I discussed this with a few of my friends, they all disagreed. G and J did because they always exercise and have frequently talked to me about the benefits of it on my mind, but F had the best argument when we did a private call together. He argued that contrary to stoic beliefs, we need to control the body as well because it's within our boundaries of thought. F pointed out that our minds can choose to act on aches, chills, and those acts can either help us get better or make us sicker than what we were prior. Realizing this makes me side with my friends over Seneca. There's nothing wrong with a good mindset, but I think that if the mind regulates what we eat, wear, sleep, and do with ourselves then that makes the body fall under our control because if the mind doesn't control the body then what does? Our will? Our souls? If so, the body would still be under our domain for the mind has a hold over the intellect and heart (will and soul).

Some of you might disagree with this, but I think that given what we know about ourselves now, I feel as though the stoics would adapt more to this viewpoint. However, a stronger counterpoint is cancer for we can't control the effect cancer has on the body and cancer's outside our control so that's one area where the stoic viewpoint may hold out far better than anything else. Regardless, however, I find that having a good healthy mind is wonderful. I meditate almost daily in some form and I relax my mind to cleanse it and find a tranquil space to keep myself in. I also relax the mind by writing, reading, or just praying and spending some alone time with God. Doing household chores is also a great way for me to relax as it keeps a routine going and allows me a chance to better control my autism. There's also walking, for it's also a physical benefit and it always relaxes me when I walk. When springtime weather comes, I intend to walk around the neighborhood and/or the woods once a day to relax, get some fitness in, and also see if any creativity comes about that inspires me. I can't do a lot of physical exercises indoors until the work on my room's completed so I'll walk and try to get in as much fresh air as I can. Seneca recommends walking as a good routine and I'm hoping to follow through on that.

Overall, the letters themselves are brilliant reads. I greatly enjoyed them, but they aren't something you can just pick up and read quickly. To savor the context of all the letters, read them slowly and take the time to re-read certain passages that you may feel uncertain about. Let the words speak to you and find aspects to take away that you can keep on you going forward. It may seem like a dull read if you're used to quick flowing works, but sometimes, a slow read is better for us in that we learn the truth and gain something a quick flowing novella might not present to us. I hope to get Seneca's essays at some point this year and read them. I've actually got a stoic epic somewhere in my collection that I hope to read if I can ever remember to look for it, but I may wait on that for another time, haha. Regardless, Seneca may not the best stoic to follow through but his letters contain wonderful advice that still carries tremendous insight in modern times. So read them and discover for yourself why the stoic's words have helped others in times of uncertainty.

 

Passions and Emotions

This was a big one for me as I've always been an emotional guy and filled with lots of passions for life and pursuits I've always wanted to try out or follow-through, but I've come to realize that I've got too much of both. It's easy getting the emotions down in order and simplifying that, but the passions are a different matter. There are so many things that have interested me but stretched me too thin in terms of interest and life goals. I can't continue following through 50 different things when I've got to start freelancing soon and making money. My three-month break's almost over and while the rest has been wonderful and has recharged my batteries, I've got to start deciding what I want to keep doing and what has to be tossed overboard for me to better myself.

I think this comes down to the frame of mind I possess and how my mindset's been all these years. From where I was a lonely child, I'd find activities and hobbies to occupy my time and fulfill the emptiness inside of me from having a lack of friends. It's why I developed a big love for reading because a lack of friends made me feel isolated and I nipped that bud by turning to the world of literature and going to imaginative places, where I'd feel accepted. The same can be said for writing because I'd write to keep my mind occupied and not think about how out of place I felt, but I digress. I've got several wonderful friends now, but I'm still finding more hobbies to try and pursue and it's beginning to cause others to be tossed to the side. An example of this is painting. I love to paint as a therapeutic hobby and to help me deal with my emotions, but because of another hobby, I've not picked up a paintbrush in over a year. I hope to again soon, but I'm not sure when that will be.

I do have an idea of what I want to keep pursuing and what to let go of, which I've broken down into two lists:

More

• Being Religious
• Painting (or being artsy)
• Reading
• Spending time outside
• Writing

Less

• News
• Social Media
• Television (only during the day)

So a lot of my downsizing has to do with a screen in some form of way, though the writing's the only one for I'll be writing from a screen unless I write it all in notebooks or notepads. But it's beside the point because with spring around the corner, I don't need to fulfill my boredom with a screen in some form because better days are coming and I can finally get out of the horse more than once every few weeks or so and not worry about constant snow or bitter temperatures. I do feel like a flower about to bloom or a baby bird eagerly awaiting to fly for the first time.

Realizing this, I came to see that it's like the "Banquet of Life" Epictetus mentions in the book. I've been trying to sample every dish and drink every flavor of wine, all without realizing that it's causing me to be selfish of my time, not savoring the present moment and being grateful for what I've got. I can be selfish at times because of factors that arise from my condition, but I try my best not to be. I'm by no means perfect, but I feel like I'm in a better position now ever since undertaking this stoic dive in a way. Now I look at a "Banquet of Life" and remind myself to be modest with what I eat and indulge in. I can use the same argument for my emotions. Yes, there was a bit of a rough patch at the beginning of the month, but I think my emotions have improved. I wasn't upset when someone ghosted me and I've done my best to obtain a calm and collective base to think from instead of trying to bounce all around over the place. I think trying to grasp too many things made me more emotional and moody, but now that I've decided what I want to spend less time on, as seen above, I'm hoping that it'll keep my emotions more in check. I don't have to be the greatest at everything, but only at what I'm best capable of doing. I don't have to worry about being great at knowing the world around me or anything because it's not necessary. I don't want to be bogged down by the unnecessary when I want to enhance the necessary.

I think a lot of my emotions come from the anger and resentment I've harbored over the years for what happened to me. It's been such a long process to get to the acceptance and understanding that I'm at now because I either blamed myself and felt disgusted or blamed the man who did it and felt raw anger just shoot up all over me. Yet, I'm not an angry person. My friends know this. They know me as this lovable marshmallow, who's soft, sensitive, kind, and always upbeat and positive. Seeing these emotions of depression and anger arise confuse them because I never show any indications of it. I've always done my best to maintain a facade that deceives others because I was afraid of how they would perceive my emotions, but I've accepted that I don't need to do that. It's okay to let that go and show that I'm in the process of regaining control of myself, showing moments of sadness and/or anger without regret. I don't need to hide behind something that ultimately bottles me in and makes it worse in the long run. No, I need to be myself and if that means always being a work in progress then I'll follow through with it. It's okay to always repeat and heal yourself for we're always evolving as we get older and are never the same humans as we were when we were younger.

The clarity I focused on last month has helped me realize this. I've come to realize that I needed to work on myself for there had been some emotional blocks I'd ignore either for the sake of them going away by themselves or because I wasn't sure how to deal with it. It's not been easy and there have been some emotional days because of it, but it's okay for it's helped me come to understand that I don't need to continue to hold onto past emotions. Much like my passions, I have to let go of the emotions which won't add anything new to me and focus on the ones that'll bring out the best in me. Out go anger and resentment and replace it jubilation and peace. Again, we return to our friend Epictetus (I promise to quote someone different next month if you're afraid that I'm falling through stoicism and turning to the Epicurean school of thought. That won't happen for I completely disagree with his idea that the soul dies with the body, but I digress). In reading the devotion, I found that he hits the mark when he warns us to

"Keep guard over your perceptions, for it is no small thing you are protecting, but your respect, trustworthiness, and steadiness, peace of mind, freedom from pain and fear, in a word your freedom. For what would you sell these things?"

If we do not have any control over our perceptions then how can we have control over ourselves? Our perception is what controls us for it guides us into the emotions and passions we follow through with. Ring in what you pursue before they take control and lead you to decadence that rots you from within.

Our emotions are essential in deciding what life we want to live.

 

Awareness

It's amazing to learn just how unaware we are of ourselves. We think we know everything about ourselves and have a pretty good picture of what we are, only to have the rug pulled out from under us and show that we don't know as much as we thought. We have to be aware of ourselves to understand ourselves, but our senses can deceive us into assumptions and illusions that we're not aware of. However, you have to understand that our senses are wrong. We're wrong into thinking that we're fine or understanding when we're not. In The Daily Stoic, Ryan Holiday points out that our emotions are overly alarmed, our projections overly optimistic.

We're better off not rushing into things but it's impossible not to. We live in an age where we're always on the go. There's never a moment to stop and reflect, to ask yourself if it's possible or right. You have to be the one who breaks out of the mold society expects of us by choosing to stop instead of continuing. You can't ignore things forever and expect them to magically go away.

We have to self-evaluate ourselves to see if we're aware of ourselves. Yet most people are afraid of it because they may not like what they have to see. However, you shouldn't be afraid for the truth will come out eventually so it's better to self-evaluate your emotions now while you've got a chance instead of bottling it in and letting a giant snowball come tumbling down onto you. We always underestimate ourselves. It's a natural characteristic. We always put others before ourselves and think that we're an underdog in this world. We must break from this mindset. Seneca writes in one of his essays,

"Above all, it is necessary for a person to have a true self-estimate, for we commonly think that we can do more than what we really can."

We are never aware that we try to do more than what we're capable of achieving. We always stretch ourselves too thin and I'm no expectation. I tried my hand at so many things, not realizing that I was stretching myself thin and failing to capitalize on my talents in certain areas. It took me ages to understand this and when I finally did, I let go of other things so that I could enhance myself with what I was good at, which is writing. To be a better writer, I gave up PMO and while it's been a struggle, I'm now at a point that I've written so much that I couldn't imagine how little might've been done if I still was trapped in the grasp of lust and self-pleasure. Do I regret not realizing this sooner? Yes. However, being aware of my problem now has made me realize what life's like with and without it and I enjoy not having it. I love being able to see clarity in myself now, being aware of what I shouldn't do to bottle myself down from writing more, and keeping me even a day back from reaching my life goals.

Recently, I read Saint Augustine's Confessions and the book presented me with more insight into myself than I realized. My friends know that Augustine always holds special importance in my heart as he was the saint and philosopher who made me wept as I read about his work not because it was frustrating, but because it had the answers I long sought out for myself. It's lead me on a path that I continue to walk right to this day, but that's not my point.

In reading his story of finding the church and converting, there were a lot of aspects about myself that I knew were there: the struggle with sexual sin, feeling uncertain about my soul, afraid of life after death, etc. What struck me the most was Book VIII, also known as the "Conversion Book" because Augustine tells the story of how he finally sought God's truth and how it forever changed him. In the Book, Augustine is reflecting on why he waited so long to convert and when realizing his anguish, cries, "How long, how long? Tomorrow, and tomorrow? Why not now? Why is there not this hour an end to my uncleanness?" That struck a nerve with me. It brought back so many memories of my own walling in PMO and refusing to believe the truth of Catholicism until eventually, it ate away at me so much that I couldn't ignore it any longer. Even to the present, some things I push to tomorrow, not realizing that tomorrow keeps being pushed further and further away. In doing this, I'm letting my life slipping away with such foolishness. For what if I died right now? What would've been accomplished? How would I've wanted to remember how I lived and worked?

See my point? It's not just me, it's all of us. We keep wanting to live tomorrow without realizing that we've got to live today. If we continue to ignore now in favor of later, we become fools. We can't live tomorrow for we're not guaranteed it. Each morning we wake up is taken for granted because we could die while asleep and not realize it. Do you want your last potential day to be filled with regrets and mistakes? Do you want to continue pushing things off that'll never come? Do you?

We need to cry out what Augustine did when he found the truth. We must live for today. I've found that so refreshing, being able to open my soul to my faith and stopping ignoring everything, thinking that it can be taken care of tomorrow. We have to be aware that the present is our today and tomorrow. We have to be aware of the state our souls are in and how if we find ourselves in Augustine's place, fix it now. Don't linger about ignoring your problems. Don't spend years bottling them away and resenting the world when a simple dose of awareness can fix you right up. I spent years making this mistake and it costed me dearly. If I had only realized this sooner how different things might've turned out, but while I can't change the past, I can try my hardest to gain back that lost time and be able to work hard to have a better future.

Being aware of this has made me aware of so many things about my heart and mind and other areas that I wasn't aware of before. It's so amazing how truth lifts the veil from your eyes and allows you to see the world in a new way. This connects to clarity for we only become aware of ourselves once when we have the clarity to realize it. So please, don't block the awareness. Give it a chance to bloom and glow. Forever.

 

Unbiased Thought

We face this struggle every day. It's hard not to feel biased as we've got a certain view or perspective we like and tend to favor. We're biased in the least expected ways, from what we pick to wear to what we'll do that day. Many people think that they're not biased, but it's surprising how deceived we are by such a notion. No one's immune from being biased as we're all people who like certain things a certain way. Big or small, we pick a side and stick to it. Rarely do we change our biases until they're proved wrong, but even then, we just adopt a new bias and continue to go along, hoping that no one notices how peculiar we stick out compared to the rest of the norm.

In reading Ryan Holiday's subject for this month, I was puzzled at why I'd be biased. I've never considered myself to be biased as I've strived to treat all people equally and never adapted harsh rhetoric or manner that would indicate otherwise. I'm down-to-earth, humble, just a meek little man who seeks to put forth his voice for the world to better understand others who share the same boat. The more I thought of it, however, I came to realize that I'm just as biased as anyone because of how I think. Our thoughts control our emotions, our emotions control our mind, and our mind controls us. If our thoughts lean a certain way then we act a certain way. We fall into a mold that makes us no different from the person sitting next to us. You can think that you've got nothing in common with a stranger, but you both may be pessimistic forms in a gloomy world or an optimistic soul in a rosy hue. Our thoughts link us all together as they fall in either black or white, good or evil, happy or sad, etc. There's no grey area for us to be uncertain at and try to worm ourselves out of a label we don't want. We're either this or that. There's no other alternative to it.

I admit that my thoughts do make me biased. I view the world a certain way and I have disdain if anything comes around to try and interpret that view and the conclusions and thoughts that makeup said view. I'm biased in who I like as having as my friends, what I read, what I associate myself with, but what can I do?

I can try to have an unbiased mind.

Obviously, this is easier said than done but it doesn't mean that it's entirely impossible. To have an unbiased mind is the characteristic of a rational person. This is done by:

1. Looking inward
2. Examining ourselves critically
3. Make our own decisions without the weight of biases or popular notions.

Now the first two are easy but the third is where a lot of people buckle. We live in a world where everyone wants to fit in, follow the same path that any individualism is frowned upon. People are expected to be a certain way, act, think, dress, and be someone they're not. For a lot of talk of being yourself, there's a lot of hypocrites who hold a double standard as they tell people one thing, but be another. If we lose the individual side of humanity, we're left without unique characters for the world to shine through. Do you want to be a boring blob that follows the norm of today's society or do you want to be the most beautiful marble statue that showcases your uniqueness?

It's like with me, I hold the belief that all education should follow the classist route of the seven liberal arts, extending from Ancient Greek and Roman culture. Does that make me unpopular? Probably, given that today's world is all about diversity and that's where my bias lies. I'm not biased in the fact that I disdain diversity (on the contrary, I've got friends from all walks of life and I'd want them to have the same opportunities a white man like me will have), but biased in the fact that modern culture just wants to diversify everything and destroy the classical culture Western civilization is based upon. Now, this is a shoebox I'll avoid hopping onto since there are several things I can say, but I do admit that I'm biased toward the classical culture. Does that make me a bad person? No. It's just a preferable taste but to where I'm choosing to be different, it causes me to fall into a preference, a bias of what I'd want to intellectually pursue. I can say the same thing about my religious beliefs as I'm an aspiring Catholic who holds a Platonist view of the world. It's different than more traditionalists as I also merge science with this cosmology to better see the universe. I'm biased here too, but it's just part of who we all are. Our opinions and positions will make us biased, no matter how hard we try not to be.

Take politics. Depending on the media, you find bias either from a liberal or conservative perspective. We're all supposed to be grouped into one of the two without much complaint. Politicians should be keen on taking a few lessons from the stoics as their careers and legacies may benefit from a more unbiased train of thought, but that's too ideal in this world today. However, one can still hope for such fantasies at the whims of their mind but also subjected to their own biases. So looking at it, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. However, you could also do what I do to maintain an unbiased mind: avoid the news and politics as much as you can.

By no means I'm perfect. I'm guilty of falling into the trap I try to steer clear of. There are times that I'm not following what I strive to be, but my bias eventually makes itself known and I seek forgiveness. We all should forgive ourselves for our shortcomings as maintaining such a daunting task is impossible. However, it's also a good exercise of virtue and we can use our shortcomings of being biased to better strive ourselves to follow the cardinal virtues of courage, morality, moderation, and wisdom- the four essential virtues of stoicism.

The mind is ours. It's one of the few things we entirely control. Every thought that passes through it is a thought we own. It's important not to be biased then because if we have a biased mind, we let our prejudice and view distort our perception of truth. If we try to let go of our opinions then things wouldn't be half bad, but that's easier said than done. We get used to doing one thing for such a long time that it's hard to suddenly change it up overnight. However, it's been done before. Why else do you think we've got philosophy? It's designed to help us change our views if we're lacking our understanding of the world and guide us to understand the concept of truth abet in the form of our biases. Marcus Aurelius writes in Meditations that

"Your mind will take the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impressions."

Marcus Aurelius is considered to be the ideal philosopher-king and he only achieved this by having an unbiased view of things. He governed in a fair way that was not blemished by his personal feelings. We get an inside look into his thought process as we read Meditations because it was a reminder of both the duty he had to upheld and the personal responsibility of being brutally honest with himself. To be unbiased is to rid your mind of the bias you uphold and try to view the world outside of your comfort zone. Yet, this isn't something that can be done in an hour or day but takes months, years, decades, and even your whole life to come to an understanding of. Marcus didn't magically reach his perspective overnight. Years of stoic insight and thought taught him that. He wrote it down to remind himself of its characteristics, not forgetting the importance it has on the mind.

It's never too late to start that yourself. Seize the day today and clear yourself of any bias. It won't be easy, but as time goes on, you can have a better appreciation because if we don't allow the mind to be controlled by biased thoughts then we won't become biased toward the world around us. Take a chance. Admit to yourself that you're biased and begin to unravel it. It won't be easy but you can at least try. It's better to always try and be fair than to lie and deceive yourself in the midst of the very bias that holds you back from escaping.

 

Thank you for understanding what I'm saying. I'm not being ignorant as I check the news every morning, but I don't check it all day. I just let my mind read it for a few minutes and then I'm good for the day. I want to make art but how can an artist make art if he's too bogged down by social media and most media in general? I'm limiting it to better myself and still have an understanding of the world around me, all without it dragging me down. This fits the kind of personality I've got so thank you for coming to my defense.

Sorry, you feel that way, but I'm mildly autistic as well so I can see your perspective. However, if you feel that way then don't read this thread and waste my time. I'm not gonna change myself to cater to someone else's feelings. I've done that before and it wrecked me so if me expressing my thoughts is problematic then go somewhere else. I'm gonna be who I'm meant to be and I accept that not all people will like that, but what can I do? I'm my own person and so if I see the world one way, I'll see it one way, regardless of how others think.

 

Right Action

After my previous post, there came a reply from a troll that was very aggressive and negative, implying that my words wanted him to commit suicide and were very harsh toward my view. I could've given the aggressor a taste of his medicine and have been such as cocky, but I didn't. Instead, I prayed, slept on it, and replied the next day. I was calm and collected in my response, arguing that while he had his opinion, he shouldn't try to deprive me of mine.

Sometimes, when we find ourselves in situations like this, the first thing we want to do is act out of anger and let our emotions cloud judgment. Yet, this isn't the stoic way of doing things. No, in learning to understand the right course of action to take, you learn that it's better to either ignore the person or take the higher road and put yourself above it. Some people will despise you for no apparent reason. You must be ready to deal with that and sudden decisions that leave you little time for such an opportunity to think carefully.

A few weeks ago, my stepdad and I got into a shouting match in which I said a few things I regretted the next day. Fortunately, we talked and learned that everything was a misunderstanding and that if we'd known what was going on, it could've easily been avoided. Yet, I had more guilt than he did for I didn't take the right action. Instead of not saying the right thing, I allowed my emotions to get the best of me and I was in a storm of anger and shouted right back. It's never easy admitting that you're wrong, but I was. I was terribly wrong and I've had to live with the guilt. Fortunately, it's not bothered me since I've recalled the stoic emphasis on the present moment. What's done is done. We can't go changing the past or backtracking ourselves to fix a mistake. Each passing moment pushes us forward and we've to focus on learning from said mistakes so that the future fairs better.

To become the person you've always wanted to be, you've to showcase it. You can tell people all about it, but unless you're capable of proving it, you're dust. No one will believe you if you can't back up your claims. You say that you're kind, then showcase your kindness. You say that you're loving, then showcase your love. Often, people hide behind a false facade to impress others that eventually tumbles down. The people who live in a house of cards never learn from their mistakes. They're the ones who are corrupted by the world around them, but those who are honest and show their vulnerability fair better. Yes, they may not have the most money or prestige, but maintain a great deal of respect. You can inspire to be famous, but is it more admirable than an honest man?

I wouldn't think so. It's hard being honest with yourself when you've got a past that haunts you and makes you afraid of what's in front of you, but it's not avoidable. Everyone has to face it at some point in their lives and it's better if it's done sooner rather than later.

Ryan Holiday presents us with a formula on how to know what the right action is:

1. Don't get upset. If you do, it'll color your decision negatively and make it harder than it needs to be.
2. Remember the purpose and principles you value most. Running potential actions through this filter will eliminate the bad choices and highlight the right ones.

Or in other words: Don't get upset. Do the right thing.

That's it. To not be upset, you've got to do the right thing. Yes, you may hate it, but it's far better to follow the right course of action and free yourself of that burden than to continue lying to yourself and be weighed down by it. We always see people make the wrong choices and look where it leads them. It works for a while, but they eventually see their entire world come crashing down and are left with far less than what they might've had if they'd be honest the entire time. This can relate to us with PMO. We may see our numbers go up, but if we lie to ourselves and think "Oh, just one time won't hurt", it begins a chain of events that sees all of our progress lost. It seems so easy to lie since who doesn't do it now in days? But don't fall for it. Lies are eventually unraveled so it's better to be emotionally honest and have the brutal truth punch you upside the head than to have an alluring lie wander you from the path.

Zeno once said that "Well-being is realized by small steps, but is truly no small thing." It's no small thing to follow the right action because it takes all of our strength to do so. We find ourselves confronting a truth that'll overwhelm us but makes us better men in the long run. It's never an easy thing to admit when you're wrong, but it's a greater thing to follow the truth. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and resist something that you know's clearly wrong. One of the few advantages my religious upbringing taught me was the clear difference between right and wrong. As far back as I can remember, that's been drilled into my head and I can't lie to save my life. Lying eats away at the conscious and makes the heart sink low with an overwhelming shame that eventually makes you seek forgiveness and question why you lied in the first place. Whereas telling the truth allows you to avoid that feeling and you'll sense a deliverance right off the bat.

Why else would the Stoics frequently mention this? Seneca mentions in one of his essays that

"The greatest portion of peace of mind is doing nothing wrong. Those who lack self-control live disoriented and disturbed lives."

Is that the kind of life you really want to live? A life that's disoriented and disturbed from what it might've been? Do you want to spend another day lying to yourself, assuming that everything's alright when it's not? I've spent many years doing this and being a fool. If I'd been so emotionally honest with myself a long time ago, things might've been vastly different now. Yet, I can still do the right action each day and live the best life possible if I'm just upfront. Ask yourself that as you wake up tomorrow and see what action unfolds your way.