Need some advice

Hey man, first off congrats for reaching such high streak without relapsing. How was your routine and habits while you were in your streak? I would say the hardest time in one's streak is from 90-150 days, after that urges become really weak compared to the beginning, but it requires some self improvement and discipline. Try to get a hobby where you spend your time a lot, something that gives you a good amount of healthy dopamine and do that until you feel urges are weak, then you can comeback to a more normal life if you know what i mean.

 

Congratulations on your achievement of 98 days. Well done!

With regards to why you slipped, maybe you could spend a little time sitting down remembering and writing everything that was going on in your life the week, maybe even month, before you relapsed. What was going through your mind that day and previous days leading up to it? What stressors, if any, were going on in your life? Sometimes relapsing can be an innocent slip, but it can also be something more insidious and telling.

I knew of a guy who acted out at a particular time each year. When he did, he went all out. I mean big time, drugs, women, booze you name it. I'm not saying you're that bad, but it turned out that he did it at the same time each year because of a stressful eveient he hadn't appreciated actually triggered him.

Maybe you can analyse what was going on leading up to the lapse.

 

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I am.

Like I said, look at what led up to it. You confirmed yourself all the triggers and main events that led to you acting out.

Your problem isn't the binging. Your problem lied in you avoiding each opportunity you had to stop, yet carried on anyway.

It's like missing a plane because you took a late shower, booked the cab late and knowing it was rush hour and the getting upset because you can't catch another flight because it's rush hour.

Binges are crazy powerful moments where your body and mind (the fantasy mind) is so sensitive to all your turn-ons. Seriously, what do you expect? Of course, you're going to keep acting out, you've just awakened the sleeping giant of your addiction.

The problem started with the lead-up to giving in and ll those opportunities to stop that you seem to be perfectly aware of, yet not willing to accept as the issue underlying your binging.

The binging is not the problem here, so maybe try focusing on the triggers, and not the aftermath, when it's all too late?

 

Hi VandettaHelix,

One train of thought that has helped me in my recovery is called the "Three Circles"

The outer circle are behaviours which are conducive to your physical/emotional/mental/spiritual growth (eg. weight training, learning languages, journaling, etc.)
Middle circle behaviours are those which aren't conducive to personal growth, but ones which can lead to destructive results (eg. perhaps sexting in this case?)
Inner circle behaviours are those which are destructive to your physical/emotional/mental/spiritual growth (eg. viewing pornography, various other sexually addictive behaviours). Once in the inner circle, it is very hard to get out until the deed is done.

If you're in the middle circle, that's the time to check yourself before you begin entering into the Inner Circle (eg. get out of the house, call a friend, etc.).

 

It's tough isn't it. Kind of like what Soren above just said: once the horse has bolted from the stable, all I can do is wait for it to exhaust itself!

 

the second relapse is the key, if you can handle the second relapse that it will all good but if you cant handle the second relapse and the chasser effect, well good luck man