The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Good work. Congratulations mate

 

Day 2 complete!

I know I've said it before, but I'm feeling good about this streak. Cold showers make a big difference for me and I had only been taking them three or four times a week.

More folks have told me I should get rid of the blockers rather than keep them, but I've also noticed a couple people having success with them. As I said, I'll keep them for now. I want to see if I can get to the point where they are merely a safety net rather than a crutch.

 

Day 0, not much to say.

Life is kind of great, I’m exercising seeing friends and family and I’m working hard on learning how to code. And I see P almost every day.

My win for the month of April is that there are more days of no PMO than days with PMO. But this for May it’s 0 out of 2. So it’s not a great start.

 

You got this!

 

Day 34 check-in (Attempt 4) - The Elven town of Rivendell

 

Checking in on Day 147.

 

Having a struggle against the dating apps: compulsive use and tie sapping stuff
Locking away the phone works.
Today's wake up 4:02am

Onwards,

4:30am

 

Back here after a long time.

Day 0.

 

The rings power was to strong. Alcohol made me weak and I gave in. But i Will start again and come back stronger. I Will win this fight! Day 0

 

Yessss! Of course somebody had to say it. I was going to if you had not. You have my axe too, once I become a Dwarf.

I have not been on NoFap for a few days or so, and I have been getting involved in fewer online things that 'suck me in.' I did not want to spend too much time scrolling, watching video, or reading screens without giving output, and I spent less computer time overall. I feel good, and it is nice to come back with more intention of output, having read an article on online health during corona. It suggested timeboxing (a term with which I was not familiar) one's 'input' time (my term-- meaning time scrolling, reading, watching, without interacting). I try to have more output and less idle input on the computer. Anyway, like I say, coming back and reconnecting with you all is important to me as well.

I have been lax on my Action Plan, meaning I have not exercised or meditated; nor have I done the other things listed on it, such as (but by no means limited to) putting myself to work on setting up my basement music studio. Nonetheless, even without concentrating hard on specific actions, I am approaching Hobbit status once again as you can see, of which I am proud.

Thanks as always to everyone for being here for me.

~Al

 

Had a fall. Was not taken over by urges. I was punishing myself. Did not enjoy it one bit. I was mad and tired. I need to do some thinking.

 

day 43

 

Nice, keep up the good work!

 

Checking in. Had a funny experience last night, I was having one of "those" dreams, which I don't get too often but always throw me for a loop when they happen. Anyway, during the dream, a big booming voice interrupted and said "you'll have to reset your counter! don't lose over 100 days!" And bam, I woke up. Apparently sobriety is working it's way into my subconscious!

I don't consider wet dreams a relapse, but a lot of times they do have a chaser effect that is incredibly annoying, so I'm pretty grateful that the dream was interrupted in such a way. Love it.

Seeing the p-blocker conversation resurface, which I've written extensively about in the past. Best day of my fight against porn was the day I realized I could get around any and all blockers, that no piece of technology could keep me away from porn, and that it was wholly up to me whether I stayed p free or not. The day I realized that was the day I truly became free, and I haven't used them ever since. Blockers make porn a forbidden fruit, and we all know how humans react to being told they can't have something they want. I do think they are a good tool for those first few weeks when you're retraining your fingers not to auto-type porn sites into your browser, but after that they just become one more source of dopamine flooding. I've probably spent just as much time trying to get around porn blockers as I have actually watching porn, and the neurochemical effect is exactly the same.

 

291 beyond the stairs of Cirith Ungol
366 days no PMO, semen retention

 

Day 10. V Easter Sunday, a day to go to mass , a day for prayer and reflection and a day for a new step in my recovery

 

Day 248. Checking in.