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95% of the time porn is boring these days. But still can't help looking?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Apr 28, 2021.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    This is how I usually feel when I end up on porn and artificial sexual stimulation these days.

    Usually I go between 2 to 4 weeks without seeing anything like that, but then after this time the day I do end up on it again at first it is like ecstasy to me, with how aroused and excited I get. Usually what happens at this point is I go into an edging PMO binge that lasts a day.

    But then after this day what I have noticed is if I go back on porn and artificial sexual stimulation again it usually feels boring. But for some reason I still can't help looking at it. Usually by this stage I am just going on these cam sites and looking at the women, and not even masturbating, not feeling turned on. But then I guess if I keep looking maybe by night time if I have been looking on and off all day I guess I end up building up enough arousal to masturbate to it once.

    But yeah for the most part I usually only see porn and artificial sexual stimulation a few times a month, and usually it seems to be that first time I end up on it again after about 2-4 weeks that I am extremely excited by it, but then like I said after one day this seems to die down near completely again.

    I don't understand the way my PMO usage used to be for about a decade. I was in a near edging and binging session for about a decade. Edging and binging most days, and then even the days I wasn't binging I was still using it to some extent, and this went on for about a decade.

    I do feel like it is like night and day how much better my behaviour is now compared to what it used to be.

    But I just can't seem to stop it altogether. I just can't 100% quit altogether.

    This is where I seem to be with PMO, and I have been stuck in this sort of loop for quite a while now.

    PS the only reason I do as well at not being on porn and artificial sexual stimulation the majority of the time these days is because of the way I have restricted myself. The second those restrictions are not there I am instantly looking.
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2021
  2. If you keep looking at it despite finding it boring, it's pretty much a sign of you wanting to fill a void/boredom but don't know what to do, so you go back to old habits.

    The only way to break this cycle is to develop new habits and pursue them for a while, so they become the "default fall back" for you when you are bored / don't know what to do.
     
    Akeakua, CarP, Dares Greeneye and 5 others like this.
  3. Usernameallowed

    Usernameallowed Fapstronaut

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    Like said before it's because your trying to fill a void . But be careful when porn becomes boring this is when escalation can happen and create a whole host of problems
     
    drkarim and The Passenger like this.
  4. todolist

    todolist Fapstronaut

    I'm in a very similar situation now. Since starting nofap this year I've got really good at taking 1-2 week breaks between porn use, but I can't seem to get past that! I also relapse with an initial binge which is wonderful but is followed by subsequent days of unfulfilling edging, almost as if porn (the sorts I like) isn't being produced fast enough and to the sort of quality that I need. Basically, I've run out of porn.

    Interested to see what others say about this. @When All Light Dies makes a good point about 'habits'. It does seem to be a boredom thing a lot of the time - as if I just need something that will be pleasurable and fill several hours.
     
  5. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I don't seem to try as hard with pornfree as what I used to. When I first began this journey I was trying like crazy to make sure I never ended up on it. But even for a long time I still couldn't get any consistent amount of time away from porn and artificial sexual stimulation. But my time away from it over a few years kept slowly adding up.

    But I think the reason I tried much harder back then is because I felt the ill effects from my PMO use much more back then. I believe back then I had much deeper brain changes. I went through bad withdrawals on and off for a long time when first trying to quit PMO. Even the decrease in my usage, getting little streaks etc, this even caused me bad withdrawal symptoms.

    But these days I would say I am ending up on porn and artificial sexual stimulation on average about 2-3 days a month. So even though this is not exactly long streaks, it is still overall little time being spent on porn and artificial sexual stimulation as a whole. Basically even when I do end up going into a binge that lasts a day, those ill effects just don't seem to be anywhere near as prevalent as what they used to be. I used to feel completely ill from my PMO usage, getting all these mental and physical symptoms. These days I basically don't seem to notice any of those physical or mental symptoms.

    Another thing is I sometimes don't really feel like it is me doing the work to stay away from porn and artificial sexual stimulation. So for the first few years when I started this journey I had to fight a lot, and remain mindful to not go on porn and artificial sexual stimulation. Even though of course I did relapse a lot. But that awareness was still there, that mental fight was still there, and was always constantly happening.

    But because I got rid of all my devices except my laptop, and because of the configuration I have on my laptop, for a long time I have not had that mindset that I must not go on porn and artificial sexual stimulation, because the configuration has been in place and that is what has stopped me. It's not been my own mindset that has stopped me for a long time. As I said when I get the chance to go on porn and artificial sexual stimulation I usually go on it instantly. Especially if I get the chance to go on it on my own laptop in private. That awareness doesn't seem to be there to not go on it. The second I know I have a chance to go on it on my laptop I guess I get this rush of excitement and I go on it instantly. But like I said these days I usually only end up on it between 2-3 days a month. But as I said that's not because I have developed this great willpower, it's because I have a configuration in place where I can't get it. I actually think my willpower is really weak.

    But I actually hate having to mentally fight with my self to not go on it. I just prefer not being able to get it. But I am now somewhat thinking maybe I need to develop that mental strength to refuse it even when I can access it? I was thinking maybe that mental strength is actually developed from going through that struggle, fighting to refuse it for a long time?

    But I guess I now somewhat feel like maybe having a system in place where you just can't get it isn't helping me develop that mental strength on my own?

    I'm not really sure what is best.

    A lot of the time these days I even forget that I have a problem.
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2021
  6. Mahalac

    Mahalac Fapstronaut

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    You are just too weak, get stronger and you won't be pathetic pixel addict bro. I've been there, now I am entirely different person ( like super different person in comparison to a time I used to PMO every day).
     
  7. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    Whilst it's true that you're filling a void, porn isn't meant to be boring. When you're at that point it's because you're massively desensitised and that's not a healthy place to be at.
     
    drkarim likes this.
  8. Shin Iu

    Shin Iu Fapstronaut

    When you watch the darkness, the darkness is also watching you!
     
    drkarim likes this.
  9. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I think that is true for a lot of guys who have heavily PMOed. They have PMOed so heavy and so much that it has caused them to become so desensitized that the PMO isn't doing it for them anymore.

    But what about guys that very occasionally PMO, who regularly have sex etc? I know guys that are in relationships, guys that get laid a lot, who very occasionally PMO, but for the most part they find PMO boring. I wouldn't say these guys find PMO boring because they are desensitized.

    I used to heavily edge and binge on PMO for years, and I rarely found it boring. But I do remember after many years of chronically doing this that I began to notice I had ed even to porn, and I noticed the more I was PMOing the worse the ed was, and the less turned on I was getting. Then I guess some escalation did happen.

    But for the better part of a decade PMO didn't bore me, and I was heavily excited by it and chronically using it on a daily basis.

    Where as these days I would say it's a few times a month thing. But I would still rather get to the point I am never using it at all.

    The issue is that extreme sexual excitement I get after a good few weeks of seeing no porn or artificial sexual stimulation. I would say this is the main problem these days. Even the idea of going on it after a good few weeks seems to be extremely thrilling to me.

    See I don't believe that all guys that are sensitized get this level of sexual excitement when they go on porn and artificial sexual stimulation. Because if they got the level of sexual excitement that I am talking about, I think that they would be going out of control on PMO. Yet many guys who don't have erectile dysfunction etc, who get laid a lot, clearly these guys aren't desensitized. Many of these guys for the most part actually find porn boring. Why is that?

    As I said there is no way that every guy that is sensitized finds porn super exciting. Because if they did they would clearly be using it much more often. But as I said many guys hardly ever PMO and usually find it boring, and these are the guys who get laid a lot who clearly are not desensitized.
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2021
    drkarim likes this.
  10. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I missed this thread, but this is very similar to what I'm feeling right now!

    I can't seem to get past 2-4 weeks at a time. Like you, I've improved a lot of areas, I'm a totally different guy - yet I can't quite let go of the virtual sex.

    Getting to 90 days hasn't happened for me, but 90% of my days are good... I proposed letting go of the long-term challenge and instead pursuing women in real life with that energy in this thread Stuck in 1 month cycle - Trying something different | NoFap®

    Interestingly I don't have the same issue with willpower to such a degree. However, despite having time alone on my PC, meeting women etc., and doing okay with these things, eventually I'll just have the desire for sex and porn is all but too easy to attain, even though it's not the same thing really.

    You know, maybe we're more suited to the sprint than the marathon? And we just need to find something healthier to channel our energy towards between sprints?

    I've tried doing MO only but it seems too close to the old habit. Food for thought...
     
  11. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    I've been there. That just affirmed I was an addict
     
  12. drkarim

    drkarim Fapstronaut

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    What is the solution to that
     
  13. Nofap.
     
  14. ruso

    ruso Fapstronaut

    IMO when porn gets to the point of being boring, keep adding things to your life that aren’t - that includes thrilling and stuff to make you better understand yourself or others, and as you go accepting mundaness as a part of life. So basically The whole human experience enchilada. It’s the best way to leave it behind.
     
    Akeakua likes this.
  15. drkarim

    drkarim Fapstronaut

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  16. I just can't get into it in the same way anymore after seven long years of fighting against this addiction, I can't lose myself in it, unless I am intoxicated. I find porn more funny than I do erotic. This is, for me, good progress, but, obviously I can still go further on this journey.

    My new recovery strategy consists of a new-found commitment to teetotalism. I am now opposed to all forms of dissociative behaviour.
     
    When All Light Dies likes this.
  17. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

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    The truth is that 95% of porn has always been boring.

    Before the smartphone, you would walk into a video store and rent 4-5 VHS to search through and find the 5% that you did enjoy. DVDs made this easier because you had a preview and could skip a scene if it was boring. Still, it cost you money to search for the porn that you enjoyed. If you wanted to mix genres (i.e., lesbian and milf), you needed to rent at least two different items. If you wanted to see a certain actress, you would need to see if she starred in the movie(s) you were renting.

    Today with free streaming, you can spend hours at no cost, searching for the perfect actress, perfect scene, perfect fetish.

    It is so much easier and less expensive to find that 5% of enjoyable porn. Some even enjoy the hunt of skipping scenes, opening many windows and browsers, etc. to find that little bit of porn that is not subjectively boring.

    I think that if we had to again pay money per search or skipped scene, we would be less apt to keep using porn as we do.
     
  18. Agent

    Agent Fapstronaut

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    I get what you mean totally, porn is a lot of acting, it can become highly boring and insignificant to us. We want to be loved in sex not looked at as a tool, yet some people don't get that like we do.
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  19. FR put the best porn is amateur big ass
     

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