35 and Older Accountability Group

When I was on a hard binging period, I was used to escalating to the extreme genres like TG p.
As to your question - you mean you are worried about your tastes?

 

@artifact @JJ_Kino I'm right there with you guys. Not quiting is the first step to success. So we've got that going for us lol.

 

Yes, I understand your concern - discussing this topic may be a trigger BUT if this guy here struggles with it cause maybe he is missing information I think this forum should be the place to at least share it.
You are right - illegal stuff should be treated with personal help. However, if you are worried about your escalated tastes as a reason of your addictive behavior this place, this forum is a place to share, isn't it?

 

I deleted it. Yes, it's cool discussed under general terms like that. I jumped out strong not having to do with this but we have been around in circles on this a couple of times with new members so I'm not being patient like I should be.

Discussing what the escalating tastes are isn't helpful and can be harmful to fellow members.

There is no upside and lots of downside. Lots of what people are into makes me sick I'm already loathing P and l don't want to think about it. I hate that I'm here and that I need to be here.

Im also pissed I picked up a couple of flavors of the day from this forum. If I let one of my biggest tools to help work against me, I'm screwed.

I also noticed that the people who rave about their flavor like it's a particularly special struggle and often quit while others who struggle with the same flavor but treat it like part of P addiction seem to be moving forward in recovery.

I have seen enough "group support" threads on the forum (other threads) that oozed love of their flavor. That's not leading to recovery. Its all gross and all of us are into something, so general terms like "I've escalated into something I hate and struggle to get away' work just fine.

Addiction wants to make us feel alone. It's all the same problem and the flavors might differ a little but it's all the same.

 

Difficult times, relapsing daily...time to commit to get another streak going...done it before and can do so again. Starts today!

 

First of all, give yourself a credit for staying in the fight.
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You Only Lose When You Stop Fighting
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But let me give you some advice the mentor of mine gave me for the first stages of the streak.
Make a list of all the situations you are relapsing in. Create a plan and eliminate the possibilities of all these situations even to happen. These rules can be strict and even ridiculous but only sticking to the rules can get us through the hardest times.
*You said "time to commit" but the problem with this massage is that it relies on willpower which is a HUGE problem for the addictive brain. Say it another way - the addicted person has a problem with willpower and can hardly manage it because of the altered prefrontal cortex and lack of grey matter in this region. The time will pass and your willpower will get stronger but at the very beginning stages don't rely on it.

 

Checking in. Beautiful morning today and looking forward to the weekend with my son. This past week felt a bit more lonely than it should have, and I need to continue working on building a more robust social circle (hard in covid but whatever). I almost started watching a movie last night that I knew had *** scenes in it, but wised up before it loaded and got the hell out of there. Scary to know that even after 100 days autopilot can nab me, especially if it's the end of a long day. But then again I never would have stopped myself in the past, so I'll take that as a win. Be well everyone!

 

Haven't checked in for a while. Came off a pretty big binge last week, which resulted in this week being kind of easy I think. Got it out of my system but would not recommend to anyone.

I also have noticed that checking in on this and other forums too often for me is kind of a red flag of something bigger going on. It's usually a sign I'm not feeling great, that I'm procrastinating, and that I am using reading motivational stuff on nofap as a crutch instead of attacking the real issues in my life. Just something I need to be mindful of for myself.

 

We are usually looking for help when feeling bad so you have noticed it right. To attack a real issues in life you should have energy and look for motivation is looking for the source of an energy. You can not be at both states at the same time. The lack of motivation is associated with altered dopamine signaling so keep going with your reboot to return it to normal.

 

Reset today.

I'm not proud of how hard it's been for me to begin another significant streak, but at least I haven't given up. Even if I have four or five sober days at a time, that's still better than I used to be.

 

Checking in on day 10. Feeling good!

 

This is my 20's day today.
The first benefit noticed - my sleep has become better. Feeling more rested and waking up easier in the morning. My sleeping schedule wasn't changed, so I can relate it to No PMO.

 

Checking in...relapsing daily at the moment but today is a new day....going to write something each day to get a new streak going

 

Thanks for taking the time to write this...yes willpower will increase and recently it's been very absent. Did manage a 62 day streak before this relapse so I know that I can do it

 

Checking in. Happy Sunday everyone!

 

Checking in. As before, it's been relatively easy for me to get to ~10 days, which is encouraging. Today I am fighting the urges though, after a stressful week and now home alone for a few days. So weird to feel that wanting to go look for stimulating visuals, even if I don't feel particularly sexually aroused at all. But it's there and it's strong. Helpful to put this to paper here. Good luck all

 

Checking in after an excellent weekend (first one in recent memory).

Hope everyone is well!

 

Checking in on a relatively easy day.

If there is one constant to how I feel on a daily basis it would be summed up as 'tired'. Sleep training my daughter as we speak, it's time that I start controlling that variable a little bit more, to the extent it can be controlled of course.

Also feeling a bit overwhelmed with slowly returning social obligations in a post pandemic world now that more and more people are being vaccinated. I'm busy at work, as said the kids aren't sleeping well, and there is the usually laundry list of homeownership and life issues that need to be dealt with. Just have to remind myself that I cannot be a rock star at all of these aspects of life at the same time instead of beating myself up for not being perfect all the time. I tend to resort to PMO when the latter happens, which obviously does not help with trying to stay on top of things.

 

I'm back to prepandemic levels of activity and demands on my time. It's good but tough to carve out time for self improvement.