My thoughts about finding a girlfriend with hijab

exactly my thoughts

 

I think when women dress either too provocatively, or conservatively to the point of inconvenience, then they are probably a bit too obsessed with what men think about them. A mentally healthy woman is comfortable with how she is, and dresses for herself not how she purceives men might want her to.

I wouldnt rule out a girl in a hijab entirely, wearing one might just be a cultural habit or she might have been persuaded by her parents.

 

I see nothing wrong with women wearing hijab but, I also do know some who are not wearing even if they are required to do so. I guess it all depends on the woman's decision.

 

Lots of religions have similar practices. Orthodox jewish women are commanded to cover their hair as well and many wear wigs when out in public. It's a question of choice vs force.

 

Nice to know. I remember once on this forum this guy went on a ridiculous rant about how evil it was that women didn't wear hijabs. I don't think I'd want a girlfriend who wears one either. A friend of mine used to wear a hijab but stopped. It's brave for Muslim women to stop wearing though because they can receive a lot of abuse for doing so. Najwa Zebian stopped wearing one and she got a lot of nasty messages from Muslim men on social media because of it.

 

I’d want my girlfriend to be herself. With or without a hijab on, she’s beautiful being herself.

 

I am strongly attracted to women with hijab and some conservative clothing .
On the contrary I get irked by women who wear hijab on head and below is a tight fitting jeans.
Don’t judge me but this has to do more with my taste than any idealogy.

 

Compulsory hijab is the main pillar of the totalitarian regime in Iran. It's nothing much important if you have excessive makeup, wear tight clothes, etc. While if you wear very loose dresses, but have your hair unmasked, you're evil and you crossed the red line.

But they seem to be ok if she is not an Iranian woman and she's not here in Iran. They often broadcast the movies/shows of the west on their tv.

Compulsory hijab is used for oppressing people in the gender-apartheid regime in Iran.

 

@FellatiousD

He may not have phrased it the best but it's obvious what he's saying. Use porn as an example, you're attracted to the porn that you know you shouldn't be looking at. But you'd also be attracted to a woman who has values you see as correct.

 

I can't relate to this example. I don't think myself or anyone else should or shouldn't watch porn. I just don't want to watch porn. My physical attraction to a person has nothing to do with their values.

 

I know what you are referring to and I can totally understand you and somewhat agree with you but I want to clear some of your doubts regarding it.

First of all hijab is not compulsory and no one can force it on anyone and hijabs are not worn to please God.
Also anything that is stated in a religion does not mean that it should be done to please God, but to be done for their own good. I'll explain it, how?

In Islam some things are forbidden to do but there is a reason behind it. Science & logic and religion are not conflicting but rather they go together.

for eg: There are reasons for everything, I'll list some of things which are prohibited in Islam:
1) Alcohol is haram: And everybody knows that alcohol is bad for health, Alcohol can leads to bad decision etc....
2) Acting on anger is prohibited in Islam: We know that when we act on our anger then most probably things can go bad. Anger can destroy relationships and can get people to do things that they might regret it later, anger can also cause many illnesses etc.
3) Pork: Pigs are considered to be unclean and pigs also does not ruminate they don't chew the cud and can't digest cellulose, pork contains highly saturated fat and artery-clogging cholestrols and it might increase the chances of many deadly diseases.
4) Anal sex: Anal doesn't have stretchable muscles like vagina and it doesn't produce lubrication like vagina and anal sphincter the muscle responsible for controlling the movement of feces might get loose, the skin around it can also tore and there may be some other reasons.

Some other prohibited things in Islam are: Murder, Lying, Oppression, Disrespecting parents, Suicide etc. etc.

5) Porn and Masturbation is strictly haram: I am an example of it - You know what made me first think about to quit my porn addiction? it was Islam. I used to watch porn and masturbate and didn't thought much about it's consequences, but then one day I found that Islam forbids watching porn and masturbation and that's why initially I was very frustrated and angry with it. I found it really oppressive, because here I was told not to do things that I enjoyed and no other religion stresses on it as much as Islam does and that made me thought why does Islam has so much restriction and I started to doubting religion and existence of God, later I tried to find out the reason for it and I found that all of my suffering was due to my Porn and Masturbation addiction and then I decided to quit my PMO addiction and it was not because it was forbidden in Islam but because I found out that it was ruining my life.

If you want, then I can give you the reference for these points in Quranic verses in case you have any doubt.

Still I'm not a very religious person but I do believe in God. It is useless to debate on the existing God, since I can not prove you that there is God and you can not prove me there is no God. I have seen many miracles in my life .

God said it is bad for you but you still have a choice. If you follow it you will be in benefit if not you may have to suffer.
God said anger is bad for you but it's not like that you have to not get angry, you have a choice to go against it and get mad at people.

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Check out this verse from Quran:

Reference : 2:173 “But if one is forced by necessity without willful disobedience nor transgressing due limits, then there is no sin on him."
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Pork is haram but God said if you have no other food to eat and only thing you have to eat is pork then you Can eat Pork but when you have other food to eat then you need not to eat pork. Man, God is not cruel, God loves everyone. Whatever you are said Not to do, at the end it will be beneficial for you.

Also, Right now it's the month of Ramadan and what is it? It is the month to do dopamine detox and it is beneficial in increasing will power and self discipline by fasting for 30 days and abstaining oneself from engaging in any dirty things, people share food and help others. By not letting yourself to eat or drink when you feel hungry and thirsty, you are strengthening your will-power and abstaining from porn, masturbation, movies, songs etc will help you do a complete dopamine detox. Who do you think it will be helpful to? God? No, it's all for us.

I am not talking about Islam particularly but I can relate it with every other religion. Every religion teaches the same thing but it's the man who altered these for his own benefits and don't ignore the fact that these religions were introduced 1000's of years of ago and at that time most people were illiterate and that's why God sent prophets like Isa(Jesus), Musa(Moses), Muhammad peace be upon all of them to show them the correct path. As most people were illiterate and savage they were needed to show the right path but it was difficult to do so. suppose an example, how would you explain to a person 1000's of years ago that he should not bite his nails when they don't even know what germs and infection even mean. Would you say that "there are tiny organisms living under your nails and when you bite your nails it can enter your body and destroy your healthy cells." of course not, they were just told that if you bite your nails then something bad can happen with you and they passed this information to their next generation til today. but nobody questioned it why, but today we are living in the era of science and technology we know that we should not bite our nails. And this is how most of the religious rules are carried on because nobody questioned it.

In today's world even if you ask a highly qualified Muslim teacher that why we should do this and not that? they will
tell you because it is said in our religion.
yes, yes I'm asking why?
They'll be like: ........ because it is said in our religion.

Apart from the message of Quran there were many muslim scholars whose teachings muslims follow all across the world to lead a better life and you know what? again there is the same problem, nobody asked why?
And wearing hijab is one of these teachings and it's not even written in Quran but the Quran do says to cover private parts but for both male and females.
Some of those teachings are irrelevant to current generation but the most problematic thing is that some of teachings are altered by people voluntary or involuntary but I believe Quran has no mistakes and it's the people who misinterpreted it and brainwashed other people.

Well if a women doesn't want to wear it she has the right to not wear it and I believe most of the Muslim women does't wear hijab and please don't give me the examples of countries like Iran, these countries didn't have democracy. So whatever rules the rulers wanted to impose they imposed it, maybe those were the men who can't control themselves and put all the burden on women rather to restrain themselves. I don't know much about turkey and it's political condition,etc but the country in which I live, which is one of the most populous Muslim country, here you will find a small fraction of Muslim women wearing hijab and they wear it on their own wish. I belong to a highly orthodox Muslim family but still no one in my family wears hijab or force anyone to do so. I am thankful that I live in an open minded democratic country.

Again Circumcision is also not compulsory but most people prefer to do it. Even a lot of non-muslims perform circumcision because of it's benefits.

• Better hygiene
• Decreased risk of urinary tract infections.
• Decreased risk of sexually transmitted infections.
• Prevention of penile problems.
• Decreased risk of penile cancer. etc.

It is not stated in Quran that women should wear hijab but it is stated that one should not gaze at other genders private parts, It's the men who needs to lower his gaze more than the women to wear proper clothes. but you know what? women followed the rule but men didn't. Why? because men oppressed the women. It was the patriarchal society which have always been oppressing women and If you tell a muslim guy that he should not gaze non-marhams(means other than sister, mother or close relatives) he would say "are you crazy? no one does that." because Men have forced everything on women, and today's generation don't even know these rules exists and they'll continued to enjoy their life and if anything bad happens then they will blame it on women.
if I see someone forcing any women to wear hijab I would told him to first force men to put an hijab on his eyes and not look at women's private parts. If men stop looking at women then not only women need not to wear hijab but they could also move naked without any fear. but will the men do their job? No.
It's not the religion which is oppressing women, it's we the men who have always been oppressing them and they used religion as a tool to do so.
I have talked to a lot of women and read many confessions and came to know that most of the women who wears hijab wear it at their own choice. Some women wear it for fashion, some wear it protect their hair from pollution and sun and some wear it to protect herself from the lusty gaze of men.
Even Arab men cover their head, maybe because at that time people used to travel through deserts and to protect their hair they started wearing it, and this continued til today as a culture.

If you know any women then just ask them, does she like to be stared by random people at public? and I can guarantee you 99% of women will say that they don't. No women in her entire life wants to be scanned by random perverts. It's not the hijab which oppresses them it's we men who degrades them by staring and gazing them lustfully.

It's totally fine that you don't want to be with a women who wears hijab, but it does not mean that every women who wears hijab are oppressed.

Yes, it's totally weird that some women have to wear hijab after getting married because their husband told them to do so. If I were there then I would marry a girl whose parents forced her to wear hijab and after marrying I would let her wear whatever she wants. It's sad to see some women are forced to do so which I accept is completely wrong.

If you find a girl who wears hijab ask her about it and only she can explain how she feels about it otherwise you are creating a prejudice by calling all women who wears hijab are oppressed.

If any hardcore, extremist Muslim would read my post, he would probably call me Non-Muslim or Anti-Muslim and I just want to say that I had no intentions to hurt anybody's sentiments or beliefs. Of course I am not an expert in it, it is just my POV and if I said something wrong I apologize to God, I apologize to you in advance and feel free to correct me.

I want to say alot of things but I don't want to make it more longer.

I hope you can understand.

 

For the sake of being on-topic with the subject, no I would not want a girl friend with a Hijab. For me, it shows that they are too religious. I do not agree with Islam at all and do not want to be involved in it. This is not to bash on Islam, as I have met many nice Iranian and Iraqi people. Plus, for me personally, the thought of a woman wearing a Hijab makes me think if they display proper hygiene or not underneath. Might be stinky underneath.

 

Also, too many virtue signaling leftist chics have hijacked the hijab and religion of Islam to further their own agenda.

 

Well said.

Man, I feel sorry for your sister but whatever happened with her is not because of Islam, it happened because of your parents, I also have a sister but my parents don't force her to wear it and even my mom doesn't wear it, because it's not compulsory. I've written a long post above, you can read it to get some insight.

It all depends upon the individual's mindset, their society, the country they live in and it's political condition.