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Reaching the magic mark

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by DeeJ4y, May 14, 2021.

  1. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    Today I reached the 90 day mark for the first time ever. This being said I did watch some provocative (not nude, a twitch stream) content few days ago and where someone could consider that to be a relapse, I still believe that it was not a relapse, and here is why: normally when I would watch that content for a while I would eventually go: "well this is almost p*rn, might as well relapse" - this time I managed to stop and I have not watched anything like that after it. So I consider this as a win, but in the future if I end up watching that sort of stuff I will consider it a relapse.

    With all of that being said I will continue on the topic of this post, reaching 90 days. This is a long post, but I hope that everything I write on this is helpful and needed in this context. It has motivated me a lot to read other peoples posts here so I want to share my story, if it could help others. This is still a ongoing battle, and I do not think that I am now in the clear - I am sure that there will be more challenges and lessons on this journey, but I hope that I can deal with them without needing to relapse.

    I will start with my backstory, then share some benefits that I have gotten and then at the end give some tips that helped me on this journey.

    So, about me: I am 22 years old and I first started to limit my p*rn use in the fall of 2016. I suffered from PIED but I still could not stop PMO:ing since my at that time relationship had some problems - which of course I would numb by PMO:ing, not knowing that it was one of the core roots of all of my problems. I had made a facade of who I thought I was and only way I could be confident was to me to play the role of that guy. I was toxic, and I had an attitude of "whatever" and I used weed and nicotine. The years went by and before 2020 I would always come back to PMO:ing and no matter how hard I tried, I would always relapse and then give up eventually. When 2020 was about to start I was at a low point and had to figure out everything in my life from scratch again. I started to take nofap seriously and focus on my own health. I would have some good streaks but still I would relapse every now and then. When 2021 started I joined here since I thought that it could help - and it has.

    So about benefits and somewhat more on my story - during nofap I have learned a lot about myself and grown as a person, at least I hope so. There are still some points where I can be better, but compared to how I used to be, I am a whole new person. Of course all the stuff I am doing besides nofap help as well but I will go more into detail in the tips part. So how have I changed? I have found out about my traumas since I have not numbed myself with drugs or PMO every time I feel sad. I have also learned to deal with emotions better. (For the lonely nights when everything is bad I strongly recommend to go for a walk! This has saved me from so many relapses. 5min or 50min, it does not matter, getting up from bed when you can not sleep, when all the negative thoughts come back and the urges rise, helps. You would not fall asleep for a while anyways, at least from my experience. A change of scenery and something to occupy your mind helps. Try this!) I am more confident, generally happier, more productive and less perfectionist. I am more social, even though this is one of the fields that I can improve on, however I am so much more social than I used to be. There is still some anxiety, but I can deal with it since I know that the anxiety will go away once I get to talking with someone. I am also more grateful for everything that God has given me. I do not think that all of these is from not PMO:ing but from a lifestyle change - something that is in my experience required to be more successful on nofap. Healthy and productive lifestyle helps abstaining from PMO and not PMO:ing gives energy and motivation to have that healthy and productive lifestyle. They feed each other, just like my drug and PMO addiction were because of depression and lack of meaning in life, I had depression and found no meaning in life because all I did was drugs and PMO. Journaling also helps to track progress and to see patterns of behaviour. You can read my journal here if you are interested: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/new-journal.302164/page-6#post-3003977

    Somethings that I have found helpful: (you probably have heard these before but here they go again)
    Doing stuff - whether it is reading a novel or a book about nofap (highly suggest your brain on porn (get it from audible.com for free when starting a free trial) and the .pdf file of the SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION book that I will link to this post), going for walks, exercising, jogging, writing a poem, learning a new skill (I like online chess), learning to cook healthy and also not that healthy foods (for cheat days), doing yoga or stretches, praying (this really helps!!, I know that if you do not believe in God this might sound weird but believing that God will help me overcome this addiction helps) and finding a job or a place to study (some purpose to get up). Sure cold showers and pushing yourself from your comfort zone helps. I read that after muscular exercise (to gain muscle) it is not recommended to take ice cold showers since it limits the protein to go to muscle - after jogs/cardio etc. it is recommended since it helps to recover the muscle. I have took cold showers for over a year now - chilled showers after workout. It boosts your focus. Also taking a cold shower after as much of pushups you could do really helps to not relapse, whenever the urges feel too much to handle and one is seriously considering going to a tube site. Shoutout @punch54 for this one;) I also recommend adding these things gradually and not all at once since the stress from doing something all the time can cause a relapse. Start small, and add when you feel like you can do more. Being a perfectionist only does damage, be easy on yourself. I also recommend not using drugs and alcohol since after those it has been harder for me to not relapse, since I already have lost some of my decision making abilities.

    I apologize for the mess of this post, I just wrote whatever came to my mind at the time. I hope you all the best and God bless you all! There was a time where I could not go a few days without PMO - everyone can make a change for the better.
     

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  2. sadhu_monk

    sadhu_monk Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations buddy! This is quite an achievement. We all know nofap is an eternal journey and there is really no destination but achieving and celebrating these milestones gives you much required fuel to carry on. All the best and may your successful journey continue :emoji_metal:
     
    DeeJ4y likes this.
  3. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, all the best to you as well. Stay strong!
     
    Tigertronics86 likes this.
  4. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, soo grateful with you to share with us this post. I found too many coincidences with your story and it highly motivated me, this quotes are which I want my future me can say:
    I am more confident, generally happier, more productive and less perfectionist.
    Healthy and productive lifestyle helps abstaining from PMO and not PMO:ing gives energy and motivation to have that healthy and productive lifestyle. They feed each other
    Being a perfectionist only does damage.

    thanks, thanks, thanks. I keep trying, if you did it, why not me(?)
    Blessings
     
    DeeJ4y likes this.
  5. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    Glad to hear, keep going and stay strong! God bless you.
     
  6. neo97

    neo97 Fapstronaut

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    I'm glad to have you recommended the book as well. For the other PMOer, while you're dealing with your PMO problem, I would suggest you to read the book too! And I hope that many of you will be able to break through the PMO prison one day, proud of you man, chill
     
    DeeJ4y likes this.
  7. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    Yeah thanks for sharing it! God bless you!
     
    neo97 likes this.

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