Addicted to Porn - Here's my Story

Hey everyone,

Thought I'd come here about how I've been watching porn since I was 10. This past year I went through therapy, talking about me being sexually exposed before that, and now its all making sense. Over the years I got used to porn because it seemed normal but now its really ruining my mental psyche.

The longest I've gone was 1 month, then told myself "I don't have a problem" and realize I'm paying camgirls like its normal even when I tell myself not to spend the money. I keep going back to it and I just don't like this version of myself, even when I know its gonna make me sad afterwards, I just do it for the relief.

I started going to the gym, which I've been sticking to, but like I said porn keeps comin back into my life. At this point I want to figure out how I can block it from everything, my phone, my computer, all of it.

Thanks for listening/reading \ o

 

Thank you, I've tried many times to do NoFap, the longest I went was 1 month then told myself I didn't have a problem. After today, I realized how its literally effecting my daily routine if I give my self excuses to do it. I know my triggers is definitely lack of sleep, but I know thinking of females sexually even for a little makes me get off course. I don't even like to think of women like that, but its a trigger so its part of the psyche.

So I'd be posting every morning on the forums or my own journal?

 

So I actually told my cousin's, they're close to me but they told me "its completely normal, should learn to do it in moderation". Thing is I know that I want to do to the fact that my ding dong is much more health considering I'd do it everyday 3+. The only thing I can think of is I don't want to have penile problems due to excessive fapping and its scary to think of that.

 

Something I want to do is definitely block a way from getting secondlife installed on my computer, I keep deleting my account but then re-activating it because urges/fantasies. I know none of them are realistic expectations and thats literally the main poison to porn or anything thats a sexual gateway such as 3D sim games. I believe thats one of the triggers that messes with me the most which is the fact of being lonely as not having a partner v. lonely from not hanging out with friends.

I'll get through this, I know I have the willpower for it.