The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 3.

 

Day 2 complete!

I watched "The great porn experiment" earlier today, and it was very beneficial to me. Rest in peace, Gary Wilson, and thank you for all your hard work.

@OttarrTheVendelCrow Hang in there, mate. Stress is your body's trigger to take action, so it's okay to feel that. Make it something constructive, not something destructive.

I felt inspired to sing a little bit today, which is something I haven't done nearly all month. Hymns are my favorite way to communicate with God and offer Him praise and glory. That's something which has been missing from my life and I think it's part of the reason why I struggled so much with frequent resets.

St. John Berchmans, pray for us!

 

Day 0

This morning I’ve failed. But I have to say, I’m still kind of okay, I don’t feel like I’ve lost myself in porn.

I’ve been on this thread for almost six month, and even though I’m not a warrior a dwarf or an elf. I still feel like I’m a different man. The day counter is great, but for me personally the way I feel in everyday life is so much more of an indicator to how my journey is going. Next to my bad I have a calendar with big red X for good day and black X for bad day. And the fact that there is more red than black is amazing. But even when I fall, porn still just one or two hours of my day and not 5 hours everyday.

So the great thing about how I feel today is that I fall down. But I don’t hate myself today. I no longer feel the shame and the self-loathing I felt all my life.

@RiseToGreatness, you are a saint. Thank you for keeping all of us on the right path to destroy the one ring.

 

Checking in.

St. Augustine of Hippo, pray for us!

 

312 days dwarf king
387 days no PMO, semen retention

 

Checking in on Day 168.

 

day 65

 

Day 15

 

day 11

 

Day 34! Yesterday was pretty awesome even though it was a hard day. I did some talking with the family, worked out, cold shower... the whole shabam of getting focused and not surprisingly... it worked! Got the opportunity to create new connections and have new adventures. Met some people at the bar (I drank again last night, as I had initially planned since Tuesday) went to my first "soirée" ever, here in France after almost an year of isolation and I can say, that, if I would've been my old self... I would've just tried to score the whole night and not care about anything else instead of enjoying the gifts of reality.
So I say to you, that once you start breaking the bond of desire and become open to the world, the world opens back to you!
P.S: Gonna be another day in which the urges will visit me since my body will search comfort from the pains of yesterdays alcohol toll. I shall speak to you tomorrow!

 

Day 0
This one has been a tough pill for me to swallow. 55 days was the longest I had made it without pmo in a long time and I now feel that I've just thrown away a lot of hard work and motivation. I think that I used pmo last night as a way to run away from my problems and it certainly did not help that I had had a couple more beers last night then I should have when out with friends. I will work to not put myself in that position again.

Still, I feel that I must acknowledge this amazing streak that I had and realize that this journey of ups and downs is part of the journey to being able to finally quit or abstain from p for good. What has happened has happened and there is nothing I can do to change that. All I can do is brush it off, keep my eyes looking forward, and accept this setback with good humor. I truly believe in every single one of us. We can over come this fellowship!

I will be starting my second attempt now.

 

Day 45 trod on

 

Day 4,

The mentation of "dont look back" has been very helpful after having come out of this recent trip-up.

Cleaned my room today, gardened and remaining productive.

Best to you all this upcoming week. Thank you again Fellowship!

PS, will be travelling to Florida and will be radio silent for the time. Travelling without my laptop and therefore will be unlikely to have access to P.

 

Hey fellowship friends,

I hope you're all having an awesome weekend!

Checking in today 123 days completely clean of the full PMO, no edging. 195 days free of porn. (I relapsed on day 72(no porn) 1 time to MO due to insomnia(spoiler it did not help))

I wanted to offer some advice to those struggling to get a good streak going and resist the temptation of the ring. How did you become a porn addict? Study and practice, years of it. How can you overcome PMO (get that ring to Mordor, friends!) ? Study and practice. Just as you've spent so much time knowing what websites to visit, what categories and what key words you've used in your searches, you need to do the same thing to overcome the rings affliction. Study reboot articles, study the effects it can have on the human brain and the body, read about the suffering others have gone through from withdrawal because they kept their addiction going on for far too long. The friends they lost, the families they broke and the relationships they ruined. When you TRULY understand the harms, this is when you will truly begin to break away. Read what has been useful to others and keep a journal of things you've tried and what works for you.

Knowledge is truly power in this fight, do not rely on willpower alone. Help your willpower with comprehension.

I mean hey, even Gandalf studied.

Stay strong fellowship!

 

Day 1
@Revanthegrey @FellowCompanion thanks for the support, guys. I'm grateful

 

Day 10.

 

Lazy day without coffee ,felt some sort of brain haze disappearing only when moving around which I done quite a bit - 16k, meditated and taken cold shower, watched yesterdays ifsc boulder world cup finals, and started watching a few movies but didn't finish because of the content.