Escort challenge

So I'd say it's preferable to have sex with someone you actually know, it's better for relationship building and support. Plenty of women out there are willing to do so, you just have to build up your game and masculine frame.

If you do go the prostitute route, wrap it up. I live in Douglas County, and we have high rates of syphilis. It's certainly less romantic, but you can make your first time any way you want that way. I would say going for a prostitute is much better than porn, but only use it as a confidence boost. Better to spend the money, know what real sex feels like, and then say fuck porn and masturbation afterwards. They don't feel the same, the thrill of porn is lost. Then, you will be more motivated to a) make money for it (wrong route to go down) or b) get a real girlfriend. However, in my experience, telling girls that you have slept with a prostitute is a major turn off for most, so it's best to keep it to yourself in that situation.

 

Hi thank you a lot for reply.
The problem is that i because of PMO, I didn't search for any girls, because I didn't see any reason to search them. Even now when I watch porn and I fail I don't have any thrive to go and search.
Do you think that first sex will be with a hooker is the right decision or I should wait?

 

If NoFap is to much of a challenge try quitting in small increments.

Cut out only the Porn and then try to cut down the amount of times you MO a day. Then cut down to the amount of times per week.

Pick up a new hobby while you are at it. The hobby doesn't have to be something majorly life altering.. like go for a long walk everyday or pick up a new book. Give your self a daily exercise goal, again, this could be something as simple as 5 pushups a day, then 10, then 20 a day. Week by week.

I didn't quite lose my virginity to a hooker but we had sex in exchange for goods so technically I paid for it.
I continued seeing this girl.
I then found my that my desire for a real relationship wasn't as strong as I would just take the "shortcut" and pay for sex.

I did eventually find a GF but the basis of the relationship was not healthy and did not end great.

It will cloud your mind my friend. Try to get a hold of you desires and your life will get better day by day. It won't happen over night.

 

Personally, I would say you should go for it man. Sometimes it takes a big change like losing your virginity to give you the confidence to pick up something like lifting weights or playing guitar that helps you to find yourself. Once you find yourself and are confident in your abilities, girls come naturally. However, I know that didn't really mean shit to me before I had sex and was addicted to PMO. The best thing you can do right now is make a big change, so I say take that big step!

 

Hi, thank you a lot for your reply <3 .
The problem with cutting slowly PMO, is that i dont have that time, i need to stop it now because it's destroying my life. I want that when i fail, it would be the last one, but always my brain just cloud my mind, and after few days i just go fishing on google, and then i fail again.
The thing with finding a hobby or just an activity in which I will have passion is that I already have it. I have commerce, and i do some physical activity, but because of PMO i don't have really a will to do anything. I remember that when i had 10+ days strike, i felt that i had so much energy and so much will (in that time i built even a profesional commerce store).
Don't know man, i think that a hooker is not a right direction to go, but when I see it I don't know when I will have any time in the future sex. Mby my brain without any sexual activity, is seeking nonstop PMO, and after sex it could be better, but really i don't know :/

 

No pressure to get one. A tip that I've learned over the past year and a half of doing this, is that you don't put the impending pressure that it is ruining your life on. You have to stop enjoying the activity. I started deep down a rabbit hole of demeaning shit, and slowly worked my way up to vanilla porn. From there, I started purposefully thinking of other things while doing it. I criticized it while doing it. And it made my desire to watch it go down. Another successful strategy was destigmatizing it. The less shame I felt in doing it, the less weak I would feel when I inevitably relapsed. They slowly became few and far between. By no means am I perfect now, but going cold turkey is a hard process. If you do fail, do not feel guilt or shame.
As for fishing on google, I went down a path like that. Trick yourself into searching provocative topics and trick yourself into going down a path you know to be wrong. I started with porn blockers. Then an internet detox. When I gained access to the internet again, I had no resolve or self-discipline built up. I blocked it again, and then gave myself freedom. I did much better. Now, I have not blocked things, but I am riding high on discipline right now.
Another feeling I had was inadequacy. My weightlifting, running, and car hobbies felt inadequate because they didn't attract me a whole lot of women. I shamed myself, hated myself, because I didn't feel the glory that was shown to me in porn. Another thing I'd like to share is that your commerce store is not inadequate in any way, the fact that you've established something already is worth it. Don't give up, and don't feel like what you do isn't worth the will to go on.
And finally, I'd like to say finding another source of media is a good idea. In the past, I let porn be the only thing I watched. It slowly became worse and worse, because all the cultural impressions I had were porn-stars. This led to me thinking that that was the only route in society and was leading to inadequacy. I hope some of this helps.

 

Ty, man for reply <3
So you think personally that sex with a hooker is a big step and it could fix a problem with PMO?
I don't know if i would replace addiction with another addiction, which would even cost a lot of money.

 

Man thank you a lot, you really helped me with this informations.

Your idea with: "You have to stop enjoying the activity" is fantastic. I think it could work for me. The reason why we watch porn is that our brain likes it, but if we make it to not enjoying it, there will not be really huge urges to watch it.

With self-discipline, what you said I 100% agree. Just a thing is that I built up self-discipline with Nofap, so I'm building my self-discipline only at the moment when i don't do PMO.
After i fail, all my self-discipline will be kinda reseted and ignored, and it will take few days (commonly 7days), to build self-discipline back. So the problem is that when i fail every 2. day, i cant be really disciplined

 

The P and the Escort network is large and available at every square meter because you hold your phone with you, we are the poor male souls fallen victim to this.

During the COVID-19 lockdown my PMO to Femdom P increased dramatically and now sexwork is allowed again, I visit Dommes and I am not in a state of mind of not visiting these Domme at a moment.

I went to a Domme on Friday and scheduled a Domme in two weeks.

 

I know it is a very deep addiction like porn. I was also into femdom, but I only went to regular scorts because there are no fetish scorts in my country. You need to stop this right now before you lose all your money, it happened to me. And those fetishes, they are not good for your life because they are disrrupting not only your sexual desires but also your personality, self steem, social skills.
We have to be creative with our phones, in order to avoid temtptations. I have an strategy to avoid having enough money (to pay an scort) and my smartphone at the same time. Maybe you can also create a similar strategy. The most important thing you have to avoid this behavior. You can do this, don't go to that person in two weeks. Do something for your life instead.

 

Thanks for your reply, you are completely right.
I can 'just' manage my money.
Scorts that offer FD are widely available here and I am scared if I cancel my appointment, I will go spontaneously.
Spontaneous visits frequently offer bad quality, resulting in wanting to find a better quality D.

Sorry, this is just me at the moment, I know I am wrong somehow someway.

 

I’m still texting a lot of escorts But never go through with the visits. I guess This is where my frugality has its advantages.

I was tempted to get a very high end escort but think that it would worsen my addiction.
I then start looking in the lower priced pages but you get what you pay for

When I haven’t dabbled around the webpages for a few days I’ll get a random text from someone I was texting the previous week with a picture and them explaining some sort of “special deal” they are having it brings me into a rabbit hole for a few hours.

 

Back in my mongering days I would occasionally get the higher end escorts. Always a bad idea for me. They typically give you the best experience (they are high paid for a reason) which starts a vicious cycle culminating in a drained bank account.

There were times after such experiences where I had to restrain myself from seeing the same girl the following day.

 

Hi guys, high paid low paid, good or bad, visiting or not, just texting, cancelling and rebooking, lying and crying, whining and dining. Yeah, been there done that. I was heavily addicted to findom myself and other stuff. Whatever in the end. Imagine an alcoholic reasoning why it's better to drink quality gin than cheap booze ... Headache might be less I guess. Imagine the recovering alcoholic going to bars but not drinking, sniffing at the bottle yet not drinking, sticking tongue in glass but not swallowing, paying 200 for exquisite wine just looking at the label. Then maybe invite a friend and have so a reason to drink. Or rather an excuse. Funny in a way. Tragic in another. The diaphragm does both, crying and laughing. We're clowns. Sad clowns with a frozen smile on our face doing the same shit over and over again and hoping to change.

Are you happy with the status quo? Missing the good old days? Or interested in turning the page and grow and thrive. You want a McLife or a quality life? You want to die, escort site open, cash in mouth, flaccid dong in one hand and finger of other hand gone stiff and glued to send button? Who will find you?

Imagine some archaelogists digging you out in 1000 years ... What will they think of the 21st Century Man? Ah, they will then say: Stone Age, Bronze Age, Iron Age, Pixel Age.

 

Haha o man.

 

I’ve decided to stop with the texting. I realized through speaking with everyone here that simply visiting the sites is a problem.
I’ve found that the times I’ve browsed sites and exchanged texts would be the times I would normally Be MO’ing.
I think that I’m winning because I’m not masturbating or watching porn but I’m still wasting my time laying around doing basically nothing.
Think I need a little smart phone break for a little bit here.

 

I used to think that browsing the site alone wouldn't mean any big harm to me but then I realized it does. Cause a little bit here a little bit there always lead to escalation for me. "You either work on relapse or on recovery", a slogan says in the Twelve Steps. I know it to be true from own experience. Besides each time we browse or fantasize or quickly check ... it (re)activates the neuronal pathways in the brain. So, the harm on the outer may be not so visible by just browsing or texting but physically each time we fuel the same old patterns.
Great decision @bjorkstadski222 to stop texting. Why looking at the menue when you don't want to eat.

 

HELL NO! Once you do that you're going to have intimacy problems and carry a lot of negative thoughts, beliefs, and habits into a relationship. Be patient bro. Nothing wrong with being a virgin at 18. I didn't lose mine till i was 26

 

It’s been 6 days and I haven’t wasted anymore time browsing menus.
COVID restrictions are finally being lifted in my city this week.
I will save my sexual energy for a real experience.
I don’t want to have another one of those “should of” moments Or another god awful ED episode where someone I really like finally wants to sleep with me and mr. winky isn’t up to the task.
There are so many layers to recovery I keep discovering which at times are very stressful but are very enlightening when I realize the problem.
god bless all.