Can anyone give my advice?

This thought can be pretty nasty, but just chill. Your brain is just recognizing some good faces but due to our past , the brain is tricking it for attraction to get some dopamine.
It may also be that our brains have become used to see females in just one light.
This very sensitive nuances of the brain is why we should keep away from porn.

 

Porn makes you see everything as sexual. Stop porn, and you WILL heal. If you stop porn, you have nothing to worry about. Stop testing yourself.

 

You are doing every single thing wrong and if you continue this then OCD will get even worse. I suggest you look up Ali Greymond on youtube and follow her videos religiously. If what you say is how you are treating this OCD, then you are digging yourself deeper and deeper into a hole every time you check. I've seen you post about the same stuff for a while and I'm surprised you haven't managed to figure out that maybe this entire thing is all OCD? Watch those videos, and TRUST THEM. OCD is meant to doubt and make you feel uncertain. That is the point. That is the definition.

 

there's something among ocders called false attraction, false arousal. ocd can mimic just about any feeling, groinals can turn into erections etc, also psychologists say that when you don't want to feel something and to anticipate to it and fight to not feel it its quite likely that you will feel it not because it's true but because you're kind of provoking it yourself, also arousal non concordance might take place and obviously porn. Listen everyone here and stop porn, never go back to it and stop being ashamed of yourself you haven't acted out on anything

 

I also want to say that nofap will NOT cure OCD. You have to do OCD specific recovery if you want to be free of it. Watch those videos I talked about in a previous comment and stick true to them. Live by them. I was like you, and now i'm 99% better, with the 1% that remains fading bit by bit every day.

 

I think nothing of what we could probably tell you is going to help you or you will doubt it all, when on my worst hocd peaks I get like I was genuinely attracted to the same sex, I also thought I wasn't anxious but that is a lie even if you don't feel at your highest anxiety peak it doesn't mean you're not anxious, you said it yourself in your post, you get scared whenever near young girls you get used to the feeling but your body's natural reaction to danger is to trigger it's defense mechanisms as soon as you are in contact with the thing that makes you scared in this case young girls

 

posted this on another thread some time ago maybe it can help you find an answer its hocd related though but it can apply to other kind of obsessions and addictions

was reading recently about porn escalation and how a porn numbed brain would seek the ultimate spike to be able to feel again according to this article https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ybo...n-on-the-user/exposure-therapy-for-hocd-2012/ have read many people here confused, in fear about why they feel certain things about same gender let it be sexual arousal or any other thing even small things like watching 2 men kissing, or even male bodies, or even seeing gay men in the street they feel attraction of some sort, some say that if you only get aroused by your thoughts that would be enough proof of not being gay and that it would only be an effect of porn, but as stated in that link it seems like that's not a general rule nor proof of nothing, you can well feel pleasure out of any possible thing that produces fear, anxiety or any emotion that could turn on your numbed reward system it's just the way it works when it has become numbed from years of porn and that explains why some addicts go and actually pursue intercourse with other men and feel pleasure from it, also some say to do a 90 day reboot and that after that if you still get this fantasies and pleasures it would mean you're gay, in my opinion that's not quite true it may be for people who didn't go so deep or that didn't expose to porn for a prolongued time but what in my experience might be true is that recovering from this ssa would take more than a few months, let's put it this way, any addict of any kind "alcoholics, drug addicts" they don't recover in 3 months from their long therm addictions it takes years and a lot of effort to overcome it, I'm almost on my 5 month clean of porn and I can assure that I'm in the beginning of my recovery and watching benefits as time passes, it also helps to start making conscious of what is behind this attraction too " low self steem, father hunger, masculine characteristics that we wish we had and we find in other men" let me quote something interesting that has been said in that article, something a gay man felt for women after being gay his entire life, would this mean he was straight in denial? I don't think so.

Second guy: The scary thing is that I’ve been seeing women as crazy attractive, and men or the idea of men pretty nonsexual. As a gay man who’s pretty much exclusively had relations with other men since high school, this is kind of weird. Even when I see “ugly” ladies walking on the street, I can’t help but picture what it’d be like to have crazy sex with them right there. Will it stop? Is it reversible?

also hocd feeds from fear, we see attractive men and we fear and get anxious, we imagine sexual things and we get the same so for a porn addict this only makes it worse because it means we're going to turn that numbed reward system on through those negative emotions, think about, through our way scalating from different porn genres it always has something to do with novelty and maybe something that somewhat produces anxiety and fear "beastiality, bdsm, etc" so in the end it's not the male thing that turns us on but the negative feeling behind it which confuses everyone to no end, what helps us leaving porn behind and any substitute for it, there has been cases of people who even take years to recover, in that time tbey gradually lose interest in ssa but they also have to combine their efforts alongreinforcing their masculinity and even therapy.

 

I am saying that porn messes with your head and makes anything/anyone look sexual, you just need to stop. Porn hyper-sexualises life. And the variety is designed to feed and pervert different biological urges.

 

First, let me say to @Mr Anderson , thank you for what you have shared. It is very valuable information, and @Freelancejoe16 please heed to what has been shared.

Escalation is inevitable with something so perverse as pornography. Everyone is saying that it is okay to watch P and that it is benign when it is clear that it isn't. Sex is cited as to why P is okay. Fast-forward: there are more crazy forms of porn nowadays which is a result of escalation. People have gotten bored of the "regular" guy-girl intimacy scene and most likely resulted in a loss of views, which means a loss of revenue. We can't possibly lose revenue over something so stale! Insert other forms of P. At least this is how I understand it. Sure, you kept yourself to "basic" porn but you have increased your "threshold" in watching it over and over again, that is what happens in the brain, that is why entertainment changes every decade. I bet you have at least fleeting desires to watch other genres, but you don't feel comfortable at the same time. If not, you have some how managed to avoid it up to this point. OR, the novelty that your brain needs has jumped into the real world, the sexualization of young individuals. This happened because you kept yourself with "normal" porn, but the wiring of the brain has changed (spoiler: it can change again, it can be "reversed")

You have to see a therapist in order to see if you have OCD. Don't play a guessing game, that takes a lot of time and energy away from you. Otherwise, you might have to do some extensive research to really see if you have OCD.

You're not a pedo, your brain has just made connections that cause you to get anxious and fearful. Just those reactions should be enough for you to know that you aren't (a pedo). You are aware of the movement of "pedo thoughts", you are aware of the changes that are happening and it makes you uncomfortable. This is partially good, because, again, it means you are "good". The problem now is that have to learn how to distance yourself from thoughts and emotions. All this that you are experiencing is in the realm of thoughts and emotions. Fear and pleasure are two sides of the same coin. But, you don't act and you don't want to act on those thoughts. That dude with the brakes is the "real" you.

Now, I am having the same trouble you are having, almost completely the same, but I've progressed in my healing. It is possible and it takes time.

Like what was said above stopping the viewing of pornography can get you out of that mindset, but that doesn't mean that it is only a result of P. There may be other factors. If you accept P as an addiction then that would mean there is an underlying issue, most likely, that makes you want to escape into P. That needs to be cared for as well.

Here's the rub, at least from my experience. When you stop watching pornography your mind is going to want to "escape" to other places. "P brain" is going to need an outlet for some time, that outlet is the "real" world. A fair warning: it might make those thoughts and emotions more pronounced for awhile, but it will get better eventually. At least, that is what happened to me. If you stop watching porn, you are going to have to deal with some "withdrawals".

 

stop "testing" yourself. Odds are it's all in your head because you're constantly overthinking everything.

If you're really worried, see a therapist.