URGENTLY NEED HELP CREEPY STALKER RUINING MY LIFE

I suppose but i see people who want to be successful get torn down all the time in their attempts by people from their past coming out and revealing their private history. It happens a lot.

So Its natural for me to worry. I want to be able to move around society and discuss any topic i want controversial or not and just have my own freedom of speech but i feel like i compromise myself cause of this dark moment.

Im carrying this on my shoulders and i kind of feel guilty for the act itself. That i even brought myself to it. Its making me judge my character.

I just dont feel comfortable trying to reach big goals with this person out there potentially trying to sabotage me or at least with the ability to. It makes me feel very uneasy and limited basically making me have to dumb myself down to not bring to much attention towards myself. Meaning i possibly cant really reach for the sky if i ever wanted to. Would be way to embarassing for this to be put out there.

 

The fact that disturbs me is this other person will forever remember. Its not gonna be wiped from their memory. Based on some of the things they said and the information I gave some certain things they will not forget.

They will always remember "that guy from xyz" and if he ever comes out of hiding its time for the truth to get aired out.

This is so strenous and annoying. The dumbest thing i ever did was be honest about where i lived. There seems to be little to no escape left. I was harassed by this person for weeks and somewhat pressured. They sent me unwanted nudes after i told them multiple times im done and i want to stop and they kept pressuring me insinuating that they would destroy my life if they ever got the chance to. This person was very sinister, selfish and remorseless towards me. Using me as an object and trying to keep me in a box once i fell for the trap. They kept trying to manipulate me and convince me that im resisting because im scared but i truly "have feelings for them" and we should "try" being together. This person has no respect for who i am or my situation when i told them i was very depressed and i did this under stress. They even requested more sexual chats from me multiple of times and id have to say no like 6 times before they stopped. They also convinced me by basically intimidation of exposure that we should continue talking as "friends" and i explained i didnt want to but since i know they know too much about me i comprimised basically thinking if i make them bored from me theyll leave me alone. I gave them 1 word replies and acted annoyed by them for days and they were still obsessed with me texting me every 10 minutes for DAYS. They kept writing creepy messages about their obsession for me constantly and kept talking about their obsession with my private parts as "friends" even when i told them to stop.

 

This is pure madness and its driven me mad and made me very depressed. I act like an animal trapped in a cage now. Im very distressed by how big of a trap i got into. I became deeply concerned with this persons obsession with me after a week. Ive never seen something this crazy before. The person also had insane fetishes that i went along and participated chatting in but realized quickly are insane and i couldnt keep up with it anymore. This is taking a huge toll on me. This is the creepiest person ive ever encountered. They are not physically dangerous whatsoever but the amount of mental issues this person has is insane. Its very troublesome and they creep me out.

Their first message back to me after i blocked them was a text i said "who is this" they respond "ill show you who it is" flashing me pics of their privates. This is nuts.

 

Im so infuriated by this i just want to escape them knowing. Im trapped in my own mind now. This kind of stressful living is not worth it

 

I dont really care about occurred as much as i know they are still around somewhere and remember me. Its very distressing. Idk im almost at a loss for words if anyone can help me let me know or if theres something i can do about this let me know otherwise my mind is on a rollercoaster ride to hell.

I can deal with what occurred and what was said on my own the part thats very troublesome is how this carries over into the future. This shouldve stayed anonymous but now im very compromised.

 

Who knows how this is gonna come back to bite me. Even if I move, where i used to live is part of my history and the person can easily connect me to that location. They may one day forget my face but they will never forgot the location i gave them because they said "everytime they drive by they think of me" meaning this person will always be able to recognize me for the rest of my life. This is the most bitter pill to swallow and is madness. I dont know what to do. Didnt realize how complicated this is. All this crap with PMO and sexting and all that nonsense seemed so simple. It presents itself so simple and nonchalant. Its just "messing around" whats the big deal, just try it etc then when you do you get stuck in a trap like never seen before. My goodness this is horrific. This is not even who i am. Cant even express myself or live out my life. Im filled with rage. Ive been an absolute terrible person to my family recent. Its hurting my relationship with them and hurting my heart so much seeing that happen. Seeing me transform into a monster, becoming desolate from meaningful connection to life and others. Its painful

 

Also I cant move currently. It was my plan to but I dont have the funds. Im stuck in this fox hole. I want to go back to living a lighthearted life. This pmo crap is so dark and intense. It feeds off of darkness. This is wicked and twisted and honestly all i can think about is how good my opportunitues in life were before, how my possibilities were endless but now how much has changed. This is twilight zone type of material for me.

I know from the outside it may not seem as serious but dont downplay the effects of being in a compromised position trust me it effects your every move and life becomes this meticulous mental prison. Takes away your humanity. Im hesistant to be unapologetically me. Im always trying to cover up for myself now. Screw this honestly.

 

Having to face the potential reality that there is no escape from this leaves me dumbfounded. Is there any support group for something like this on the forum?

I really cant handle this on my own. Someone else can share their problems with me i dont mind i just need to work this out and vice versa. Im deeply concerned in a way ive never been before in life. It is stopping me from continuing and i actually feel very guilty ontop of that because i put this upon myself. Is there any proper solution to this or do i have to compromise some of my lifetime wishes for what has occurred? The best possible scenario i could make out of this is still a shadowy life. Thats at BEST.

What on earth kind of monster is this PMO crap. The amount of influence it has molding the young mind is unreal and people still dont believe its a problem.

PMO has definitely influenced my life in a way that has impacted it and changed the course of it forever. I cant help but to be utterly wrecked by this. I need hope but its been wringed out by this monstrosity.

I try to tone down the language but i cant lessen whats happening right now.

 

There is hardly any motivation to get back up. I cant find an exit door. The depths and mistakes of the inner workings of my mind have spilled out into reality and are no longer stuck to confines of my own skull but are illustrated and manifested into the real word.

I feel as valuable and useful now as a piece of rotting meat.

This is some heavy stuff that if i even read about this kind of tortured mind before id put down the book and go enjoy something out of gratitude.

The lesson is always learned for me a bit too late. Im always behind trying to catch up. Anyways.... im signing off my posts for now until later or if someone replies. Im inviting someone to maybe give me some advise. This is an open post and venting post

 

Actually one last thought for now.

This is what I came into this earth to be?

.....Im confounded

 

I dont have the messages anymore. They were on snapchat and I deleted snapchat out of fear.

This issue is deeply troubling me and I was seeking advice from my Dad and he has started to get frustrated with me because we were making no progress. I couldnt tell him the full details. It got the point of heated verbal arguments because he was thinking the issue is about something private that no one knows and I can just drop it. He said fix the problem, its so easy just drop it and let it go.

He doesnt get that the issue is not something only I know. If so id walk away right now. Its in the hands of someone else. My problem is in the air.

I cant risk having my family find out. It would destroy them. Its already destroying them and me. This is been a nightmare for my life and has led to arguments and falling outs. I try to remain silent but the people around me are not happy with that silent worried behavior either. When I start to speak out they get frustrated and exhausted with it and it leads to really bad exchanges of words thats creating a huge emotional gap ive never experience before.


I cant tell them the issue im having. I dont have a counsellor either.

Im sure the person does not care about any of this and still would expose what happened if they found out I ever said something against their beliefs or disagreed with them about something.

 

I deleted both.

Secondly i cant tell him. Its causing me a lot of stress already. I really dont know what to do about it. I feel like my life is ruined

I cant seek counselling because i cant afford it. Im really tight on money and have no extra room for anything else but the essentials. Besides how is a counsellor gonna make the person stop from knowing what they know and doing what they want with that information as they so please?

 

An anology to describe my position is like a man who already gave up a bunch of information to the cops and then seeking a lawyer to get him out. He already gave up too much information about himself for even the lawyer to help him.

I wish I knew how to keep my mouth shut.

Please let me see the silver lining in this.

Maybe theres a way out somehow?

 

The people around me have a lot on their plate. The only person I could trust is my Dad and it would crush him too much. Im not gonna put that on him. It would damage our relationship even more.

When it comes to counselling like I said I really cant afford one right now.

As being stuck in my room thats exactly what I am. No clear shot at life. This is miserable. I can go outside and do basic stuff but can not follow any kind of strong purpose without risk being totally and utterely humiliated. I did this when my brain was dull. This is not my identity but I know how it would be attached to it regardless of what I ever say. One moment defining me...

PMO is one of the greatest tools of destruction known to man