1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Texting Etiquette

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Caveat Emptor, Feb 5, 2014.

  1. CrazyGopher

    CrazyGopher Fapstronaut

    60
    0
    8
    Very interesting message; thank you for that. I can especially relate to this part, having had these experiences as well.
     
  2. Deleted

    Deleted Guest

    Hey Guys whats your take on my situation. To cut it short
    Approached a girl 2 weeks ago on Wednesday that has given me IOIs on multiple occasions in college,without the intention of getting her number, I spoke to her again last Wednesday we chatted for a about 20 minutes she even took the initiative of getting to know my friends which I didn't expect, so that was a bonus.

    We exchanged numbers last Wednesday so I could organize something, she texts me first 10 minutes later, and here is the strange thing, she has texted first in EVERY text interaction we have had so far. But the problem is that we were supposed to go out on friday but she said she had something come up with her family, so we reorganized to Wednesday (again she texted first, but I had the final say) and just yesterday evening she has cancelled on me saying "Sorry can't make it on Wednesday something has come up", I just replied with "Alright,no problem".

    At first I was upset and almost felt like relapsing, due to the frustration of being so close to actually meeting up with a real girl, instead of just staying in and fapping to porn. But I snapped out the haze of self pity and remembered that I was going out on that day to get a haircut and meet up with friends to talk to more girls anyway, the meet up was just a bonus.
     
  3. Deleted

    Deleted Guest

    Alright I admit that mistake was my fault I didn't take your post seriously enough, I was attempting to convey non neediness with a non nonchalant reply.
    To be honest I think your suspicions are right and I may have fallen into the friendzone, on both occasions she said she wanted to go out she was going to bring her friend with her and told me to also bring a friend.
    Is this a consequence of me doing indirect game when I first met her?
     
  4. R.C

    R.C Fapstronaut

    114
    11
    18
    It was most probably a consequence of you not stating your intentions.
     
  5. Deleted

    Deleted Guest

    Thanks Anon, I have to say I am learning so much from each time you make a post. Also can I note this is the first time I have closed a girl with indirect game. I actually went direct with a different girl in college before this new girl and although I never spoke to her again since, I sometimes get some eye contact and smiles from her when I see her around. (I just did it to show off to my friends that I could go direct), I made a lot of friends from her social circle as a result of it.

    So would you recommend that I start talking to the girl I direct gamed again, in order to evoke pre selection? at least with this girl I told her straight up that I found her attractive.
     
  6. Finalfight123

    Finalfight123 Fapstronaut

    457
    15
    18
    You should go direct because I'm sorry but just talking to girls in the daytime they sometimes think does this guy want to sleep with me. Now how direct it up to you I usually just go your attractive it works well I even got a kiss close from going direct so. Just have other things to talk about.

    But its not about the lines and really every girl is different and whats to talk about different things so always be aware of that. Good luck
     
  7. Hey I was wondering if you guys know if there's a difference between approaching girls just for a short-term thing or if you're looking for a girlfriend. Should you change the game around for different strategies?

    I'm a virgin pretty much because of PMO and I'm in my early 20's, so it will be difficult to find anyone else in my spot (I'm not looking for another virgin just a gf). I'm not going to lose it in a one-night stand, I want to do it in a relationship context.

    Do you think it would be more difficult to meet someone if I'm still a virgin? Do girls have any particular qualms about that? I was also wondering if there was a specific amount of time to wait to reveal that particular fact.
     
  8. R.C

    R.C Fapstronaut

    114
    11
    18
    Approaching is a complex term. There's more ways to do it and different ways will work with different types of girls.


    Generally speaking though , no , there's no major difference. Basics are the same and apply universally. Don't worry about it.


    I'm 21 and out of all the girls I've ever been with only one was a "real" relationship. It lasted for 3 years and it was awesome(ended about 1 year ago). Anyway ,point is , I approached her exactly as I would've almost any other girl.



    Being a virgin will only be a problem as long as you let it be a problem. Most girls wouldn't care about it and I really see absolutely no reason to mention it to her. Especially early on. If you really want to however , do it right before having sex the first time.
     

  9. I'm pretty much in agreement with most of this. Worrying about it lead to some relapses early on in the reboot, but at this point I don't really care. I just don't want to lose it in a meaningless circumstance.

    I think bringing it up later rather than sooner is an intuitively better choice. I do want to mention it but only because I want to choose that partner carefully and not have it be something I settled for.
     
  10. I think you've misunderstood me, or I just misspoke. I mean 'later' in the sense of not immediately. I'm only hesitating because I don't have the experience to understand what kind of impact this admission could have, so timing of the statement is a confusion for me, but I think that can naturally work itself out and I'll know when and if to say it.

    Again, I believe I'm comfortable with myself regarding virginity (at least significantly more comfortable than when I started Nofap). Things like social comparison, feelings of inadequacy, etc. are things I don't experience anymore regarding it.

    I'm not sure how I'm miscommunicating my ideas. You're focusing on my use of the word 'intuition' which may have been the wrong choice, and doesn't have anything to do with the statement as a whole anyway.

    Are you saying to admit it earlier on or not at all? You stated you agreed with RC. but RC said it's not a thing worth mentioning and you stated "but assuming you find her, you're not ready to be honest with her from the beginning?" the following paragraph, unless I misread it, you sound in favor of making the admission, and earlier on to boot.

    Just to clear things up, I do want to be in a relationship where I can be honest regarding this. I don't have any problem sharing this information, or the PMO addiction (which is probably a whole different thread).

    EDIT
    I've tried Sosuave.com for some dating tips etc. Anything else useful out there?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 18, 2014
  11. I'm not comfortable with hiding it. I've found (especially through nofap) that being honest with myself and people close to me is the easiest and best way to live life. I guess it's a matter of vulnerability. I believe it should be at a point where the relationship is at the proper stage to admit it, rather than if it's just a second date and we don't know where it's going yet.

    Also don't know what to say if she asks why. I believe the reason for it is directly because of PMO addiction, and answering that question honestly would inevitably lead to admitting to being an addict. But perhaps those bridges should be crossed when I get there- basically if it's at a point where it's appropriate to bring these things up, and whether she's ok with it or not is not in my control anyway.
     
  12. Finalfight123

    Finalfight123 Fapstronaut

    457
    15
    18
    Wow this went a little of tangent. But anyway only do it if your comfortable. I mean really her knowing your a virgin and a porn addict (though some people say its a lesser addiction and its not like crack) would probably be easier to tell and you have quite a streak going so not bad.

    But there is no difference when hitting on girls you want to date. Thats why you hit on them to see if you want to date them if you do escalate get a number and call or text in a day. And you don't want to lose your virginity then get herpes or some STD so also be mindful of who you go after.
     
  13. aristotling

    aristotling Fapstronaut

    25
    2
    3
    Do you guys have advice for texting across a language barrier?

    I use these IM apps to chat to Chinese girls. My Mandarin however is fairly basic, and their English is non-existent. Although I get a lot of attention, it rarely gets me laid; in fact I rarely manage to successfully meet up with these girls. I'm too self-conscious of my insufficient Mandarin. What kinds of first dates should I be arranging? Something physical like ice skating, where we don't have to have much verbal conversation, would be good--except there are no skating rinks here. Any other ideas???
     
  14. fapcultative

    fapcultative Fapstronaut

    27
    1
    3
    sorry but I'm about to make a joke... I can imagine the chinese girls laughing at incongruent mandarin messages (that's why the big audience).

    Now serious: assuming you are born as "occidental" I do really think that the problem is what you said, not only because is a different language, so because writting (and express oneself) in ideograms is very different than in "occidental scripture", so If you attempt aswell to speak in person wit them... more difficult instead.

    Perhaps look for language exchange pages, those are good to date aswell ;) ...altought are not as fast and effective for your objectives
     
  15. aristotling

    aristotling Fapstronaut

    25
    2
    3
    Actually, the reason for the attention is that I'm the only foreigner in town. (Hence I'm lonely and bored off my tits.) As bad as my Mandarin may be, most Chinese are just impressed that I know any at all.
     
  16. fapcultative

    fapcultative Fapstronaut

    27
    1
    3
    If they are impressed, good point!

    but I have barely spoken with chinese people, so I have no idea of how do they behave.
     

Share This Page