Overly Jealous in Relationships?

I definitely do. Thankfully in my marriage, my wife isn't the most social person, and thus, situations that make me jealous don't occur too often.

Also, I am lucky, in that, I understand the cause of my jealousy. I am insecure in the strength of my relationship with my wife. I often feel unworthy of her love. This causes jealousy, because when she is hanging out with another man, I think two things...

1. If she left me for that guy, it would be my own fault because I wasn't the best husband.
2. I know guys, I am a guy, and there is a high likelihood the guy wants to hang out with my wife because he is attracted to her

If I were secure in my relationship with my wife, #1 would not be an issue and thus, there would be zero jealousy. These days, I feel much more secure in my relationship with my wife, because I feel like I am being a good husband to her and giving her solid reasons to want to be my wife.

A little bit of jealously might be a good thing. I am interested in reading other people's opinions.

 

You are interested in others opinion? Nice!
How about talking with your wife about how you feel, about your insecurities?

 

I do. I have told her about my jealousy. I have told her in the past I didn't feel like I was a good husband to her. She has been pretty honest and told me that she would never cheat on me and that it hurts her feeling a bit to know I would think she was capable of doing that. She is right, my jealousy does hurt her. I am happy that I don't get as jealous these days.

Like I said though, I think a mild amount of jealously might be a good thing. If are not jealous at all, is that an indication you don't care if she leaves you for another man? Maybe or maybe not. Just a thought.

 

That's all it is indeed.
Are there any specific reasons to why you feel this way?

 

The solution is your post, saying that self-esteem has been an issue. As much as I'd hate to admit it, any jealousy I've had in a relationship was because of my own insecurities. I honestly don't think that some girls realize what they do, and some guys don't either. Everybody wants to be loved an admired, and sometimes it gives the wrong impression.

I think the best thing you can do at the end of the day is live a life that is rewarding to you. If somebody is dedicated and sees you for the wonderful person you are, that is great, but if they don't, you will still love yourself the right amount where it won't hurt as much.

Easier said than done, though.