Too old for a new start. Loneliness is crashing me...

I feel this way. Had a degrading meltdown to some female relatives the other week after making a really unwise work-related decision. One of them laughed. I don't think I should inflict myself on someone in a relationship because I'm too selfish, but religion just seems like an escape, despite the fact that spirituality has been the main interest in my life.

And I always used to be positive and look for the silver lining, and have a ton of ideas to try, etc. But it feels like I've used them all up, and the world just wants to use us up and finish us all off, so what's the point?

But, if you could go back to your mid-30's, what would you do differently, if I might ask?

Actually, @Garek posted a link to some insightful Buddhist audio files - is it too late for you to listen to them and see if the don't help you work on the inner side of things? (Tried to find the link, but can't. Do you know the one I mean, Garek?)

 

Changed my life. Buddhism is my white pill.

 

Hi! Thank you for your thoughts!

Going back to mid-30's? With the knowledge of now? I would be less stupid, less trusting, less naïve, less open book to people who betrayed me at the end.

I find myself to be less receptive to philosophy and spirituality in the last few months. It's like my mind is on overload and is unable to grasp meanings and ideas.

Re Garek... He is so wise and so insightful. Some of his posts are pure gold!

 

I don't think you or anybody else can help unless I put the effort.
And I have to stop making stupid decisions.... or die....

 

Just to make clear that when you refer to "daughter" you understand that I was talking about my dog.
She went away probably because of old age although she didn't act old.

 

Thank you for your concern and your prayer, kid. But miracles happen only in the movies or in the imagination of people....

 

No worries.

 

Pray to your God for the little children suffering, kid. They deserve His help. He shouldn't waste any time on me....

I'm not in a very good mood today. I will respond to any more comments probably later in the day.

 

Good to know, although difficult to put into practice!

Out of curiosity, have you ever had your thyroid checked?

 

Children in pain, in general.
Thank you again for your concern.
We all make mistakes for which we must pay.
Please don't make my mistakes.
For one day you will wake up and discover that it's too late to fix anything....

 

Sad smile... I know...

What's with the thyroid? Are you referring to mood swings?

 

Not mood swings, but depression, fatigue and things like that. Lethargy, maybe.

 

I had it checked a few years back. No problem then. I don't think I'm being lethargic (on the contrary I think I'm insomniac) and the depression and possible fatigue, I think, are due to the emotional burnout. I have gone (and I'm still going) through a lot that had an overwhelming effect on my emotional status.

 

No, kid. No children...
Other than Lucy, of course...

Congrats for your "1 Day"!
You, of course, will qualify for a gift when it says "2 Days".