Stuck in this sissy fantasy cycle. Really need help

I never questioned my identity before. I allways have several ocd with harm, religion and hocd. I thought I would never had pocd or tocd because it was impossible for me doubting about those things.
Now I'm scared and almost convinced I'm Trans. My insecurities about my masculinity turns into confirmations about it. I can't feel any arousal for girls at the moment. I should stop reading AGP threads on reddit but knowing I'm AGP I know my life is over.
Im on day 115 of nofap and my head is tricking me to watch porn like "if you watch porn you'll feel better". But I'm not going to relapse. People with AGP says they can't do Nofap because their Dysphoria gets unbearable. I think it's happening to me too.

 

I'm not sure it's gender dysphoria. It's easy to mix up. You have obsessive feminization fantasies and it's creating permanent discomfort and anxiety because your core identity is masculine so those thoughts are highly egodystonic and they stick in your brain, taking more and more space.
True gender dysphoria has nothing to do with a sexual fantasy. Now, a trans (especially if closeted?) might think he (or she, rather) has AGP because all aspects of her psychology tend to being feminine, including sexual fantasies. You can see how those two cases are really really different.
I've read some threads on the AGP reddit, some are helpful but you also have those guys who decide to embrace their sex addiction (foolish in my opinion), as well as real trans people who mix things up so I think it's not that safe of a place.

 

Thanks for replying so fast. I agree with you that the AGP threads are a mixed bag of different situations. At the end it's a way to search for reassuration. I really would like to think that those arousals and fantasies could be the result of something else, something that could be treated by a therapist and with my own effort. Before knowing about AGP i think that it was a the way my mind was turning painful feelings like inadequacy, abuse and "not being a man enough" into pleasure. I didn't feel it as wanting to be a girl, more like I'm a sissy and i deserve this. Like some form of self destruction. It was something that depended on how i felt. Those feelings only appeared when i was down or feel bad about myself. Anyway i thik it's something linked with ocd or obsessive personalities.

 

Can relate to a lot of people in this thread. Have been watching lots of transwoman on male porn and it's so repulsive and addictive at the same time. Really hard to stop. I always go on "marathons" if I relapse - I fap to in for hours or even days I stay in this full blown porn addicted state.
It just warps my insecurities of not being good enough, being a virgin, etc so much that I sexualize the idea that a """girl""" can be a better man than I can be. It's really lame.
I hope I can get out of it and I'm scared I'll do something crazy irl.

 

It should be noted by the example of the troll "Princess Kayla" that female domination porn, called "femdom", is particularly insidious. I get that the idea of the woman pursuing and the man pursued can appeal, but the reality is that such women would only use and abuse you terribly. There is a reason such women get paid for their services.