I need to find my purpose , I am fucked up ...........

Hi brother!

This journey is certainly not easy, but well worth it! From my point of view, there needs to be a change in mindset. You have to focus all your attention and energy, not on fighting the urge to watch porn and masturbate, but on building a new life and new habits. What you put your attention on, is what will manifest. A strange paradox, but true. Everything must change, who you are, how you do things, and discipline and commitment is absolutely crucial. Here are some disciplines that really helped me:

1. Re-orientating yourself. You need to set goals and create a vision. Ideally you need some kind of destination for yourself, otherwise you're going to drift around aimlessly. If you fail or the goal isn't what you want, cool. At least you'll have some movement, and you'll have a better idea of where you truly want to head.
2. Helping others is absolutely crucial, it has saved me from urges and acting out many times. Whatever you want for yourself, give to another. You will thus come to experience yourself and who you are in a new light. Helping out on this site really works.
3. Meditation is crucial. Find some kind of meditation that works for you. It can be a walk through the neighbourhood, focusing on your breathing. Anything that calms you down and brings you to the present moment.
4. Focus on nurturing your relationships with others. Connection is the antidote to addiction.
5. Build discipline through personal activities (cold showers, gym, yoga, running, journaling). Activities that hold you accountable and will build your personal strength.

Good luck brother! And if you need any more help send me a PM.

 

man up soldier

 

I would be in the exact same position as you if it wasn't for restrictions and blockers.

 

You don't need to look for your purpose, it's all there. look around you - does your room look like shit? There is your purpose: Clean up! If it's already clean, your better than me. Does someone in your environment need help with something? That could be friends and family or just some homeless guy that would be happy about a conversation and a dollar. Another purpose. And when you feel like shit you have a purpose already within, go do something about it - might be a shower, a run, a good meal you cooked for yourself.
You are just as worthy as anyone else to live a good life. You don't need to save the world from an asteroid with an atomic bomb that somehow needs to be activated manually so your crew has to leave you alone on that thing and you have to say goodbye to your daughter via videochat while aerosmith is playing.
Purpose is what you make of your situation and the one around you. Now go on and be kind to yourself and others

 

We spend so much time stressing about finding our purpose that we miss out on the simple basic beautiful aspects of just living, living is a privilege. At times it sucks and feels like hell, but damn do we gotta live life for the people that are gone now.