One last try

Alright so I tried nofap in May 2019, or at least that was the first time I was serious about it. For 2 years of hell I wasn’t able to get rid of porn. My longest streak was 10 days and I had it couple of times in those two years. My results are pure shit and I can’t believe that this is who I am. On a surface everything seems fine but under the hood I am fucked up. For real. And I can’t do this shit anymore so this will be my final shot. I am ashamed, humiliated and totally ripped off. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I lost a lot because of pornography. Girlfriends, money, career opportunities, parties, new people, finding hobbies, exploring stuff and who knows what else.

I remember that I was always saying to people how my word means a lot, and this time I am promising myself and anyone who reads this…if I fail one more time. Either I will kill myself or I will join military and totally forget about any other goals I have.

I am probably going to fail because I am fucking addicted to porn and I don’t have any will power left inside me. But at least I gave my word and I know that this time there are serious consequences for my actions

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Thanks buddy

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Well thanks for your kind words and support. I will take your advice
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My mind is like a web site with pop up ads...images are coming out of nowhere and I can't stop them. And mostly that triggers my bad behavior...I will try meditation this time.
Any other advices on that ?


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