Saving Ourselves For marriage

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Rosamund, Jan 3, 2021.

  1. One4Christ

    One4Christ New Fapstronaut

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    Being Virgin till marriage is a gold in the eyes of any man believe me
    And one day you will find the man
    Who really loves and cares about you deeply and profoundly
    Wish you all the best sweetheart❤️
     
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  2. BARLES CHARKLEY

    BARLES CHARKLEY Fapstronaut

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    I agree 100% with this.. and I wish more women could understand how special their virginities are. I think all men desire and dream to find a girl who shares her same values, Rosamund should know that she's truly a special and precious girl. Her husband will be one lucky man.
     
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  3. brassknucks

    brassknucks Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I know. Its just tough to do the right thing. Sometimes I just wanna say fuck it you know, what's the point, and just go and get a hooker.
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2021
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  4. Rosamund

    Rosamund Fapstronaut

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  5. Awareness is the first demand of change. All in all western rotten culture is decaying.
    Why I think so ? Because I don't believe we had in the past cultures so fucked like this. We couldn't survive if people would be so confused and lost for last 5000 years.
    I'm sad watching this and happy that I will not repeat these patterns. I've been taught my lessons painfully. Will not obey and will not conform. Right actions, consequences and people will follow.
     
  6. Rosamund

    Rosamund Fapstronaut

    Hello Dear friends. I haven't posted a new text in this thread for a long time. Today, a topic came to my mind that I think I should share with you.

    For a long time, I wondered what the instrumental use of women really meant. Is it just about using women and their sexual attractions in advertising or not?

    I think I answered my questions today after a long time. In my opinion, the instrumental use of women is very widespread and has different forms.

    there is a good channel on youtube that helps people on the path to personal growth and improvement and of course, is a fan of the NoFap (I don't know why I can't type the name of it because the site
    censors the name). However, watching the cover of one of the videos today was not pleasant for me.

    A new video released by the channel showed a semi-erotic pose of a girl with the caption: "How to get a girl to like you?"

    I did not enjoy watching this video and its cover, despite having relatively good tips. Although the methods recommended in this video were not in line with abstinence, this was not what bothered me.

    Rather, it was portraying girls as people whose whole identities seemed to be summed up in a few things: sex, sex, and sex! Creatures that you should sleep with and enjoy the beauty of their appearance; Not from their minds. Not from talking to them, not from their souls.

    The methods I thought were undirectly saying, "How do we get a girl to have sex?"

    Oh, how annoying these things are to me. All of this tells me how sexual and instrumental some people view women, no matter where in the world they live. You may tell me that my thinking is too strict, but sometimes I really feel that if someone is attracted to me or any other girl, they are fascinated by my- their appearance and do not know anything about my or their souls.

    In Persian literature, there is a book called Her Eyes, the great work of Bozorg Alavi (which I highly recommend to you to read it, if you enjoy reading historical- mystery romance stories). There is a text in this book that beautifully describes the girl's mind in dealing with men:

    "
    In all my five years in Paris, I have never met a man I like. My tired soul was never ready to love a man. They were so soft and submissive, like wax, in front of me, and these situations of their artificial love upset me.

    How could I compare this mature and deprived man with those Iranian mamma's boys living in Paris? Their false feelings bite me. They all wanted my flesh, though I wished I could sacrifice my soul. I wanted to give my body to someone who would capture my soul. I wanted to find and conquer what I was thirsty for; Not that anyone comes to me and asks me. He gave me strength and power. Apparently, when I was in front of him, I considered myself not afraid; But the truth is that he was the source of my power.

    I did not know what to say to him. I sat next to him, cold as wet firewood, which smokes but does not burn. This man dominated me. He was stronger than me. He unknowingly treated me like a little cat playing with its tail; I did not want to realize that, like a helpless doll, a force beyond my normal powers had drawn me to him.

    I was wary of this mellow, isolated, fiery, steely man who thought of everything but flirting with a girl like me. »

    Alavi has really expressed this issue very beautifully. The girl is thirsty for the soul and identity of the man. The fact is that the wise and educated girls fall in love this way, and not with money and six packs and possessions.

    It really bugs me when a man tries to catch a girl just to sleep with her -_-
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2021
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  7. Armanium

    Armanium Fapstronaut

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    Doroud bar shoma!

    My initial plan was to avoid sexualizing outside of marriage.
    But later, the circumstances changed, so did my mindset, views of life, and goals.
    So I decided to avoid it all together, just like the Greco-Persian Legends! :)
     
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  8. D_rax

    D_rax Distinguished Fapstronaut

    As I'm going without masturbating for the first and longest time in a while, I've found myself romanticizing the idea of pledging my orgasm to my future wife.

    Not just to save sex for marriage, but to be able to make her the promise her that I won't even get off on my own without her.

    That I orgasm with her, or I don't orgasm at all.

    Seems like a beautiful idea in my mind.

    İt'll first mean finally breaking my PMO addiction.... And finding a wife :emoji_sweat_smile:. But other than navigating those two challenges, it's something I'm seriously considering.
     
  9. Melkhiresa

    Melkhiresa Fapstronaut

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    i personally find this kind of thinking dangerous, making women who are no longer virgin think that they are despoiled or other such nonsense, it had it place in the middle age when people could not be sure of paternity but now it is an obsolete and archaic notions that should be disregarded.
    “IN 446 LEO, bishop of Rome, wrote to his colleagues in the North African province of Mauretania Caesariensis. In this letter Leo grappled with the problem of how the Church should treat nuns raped by the Vandals some fifteen years earlier, as they passed through Mauretania on their way to Carthage—‘handmaids of God who have lost the integrity of their honour through the oppression of the barbarians’, as he discreetly put it. His suggestion was intended to be humane, though it will seem cruel to a modern reader. He agreed that these women had not sinned in mind. Nonetheless, he decreed that the violation of their bodies placed them in a new intermediate status, above holy widows who had chosen celibacy only late in life, but below holy virgins who were bodily intact. Leo advised the raped women that ‘they will be more praiseworthy in their humility and sense of shame, if they do not dare to compare themselves to uncontaminated virgins’.”

    Excerpt From: Bryan Ward-Perkins. “The Fall of Rome: And the End of Civilization.” iBooks.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2021
  10. Infidel.48

    Infidel.48 Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Honestly speaking after going on SR and reading the book Cupid's Most poisonous arrow , there is nothing special about sex . It isn't worth indulging in it nor worth saving yourself for marriage, probably worth it only if you want kids or something like that .
    Its pretty much like any other drug , you get lots of pleasure and then get numb
     
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  11. Rosamund

    Rosamund Fapstronaut

    Honestly, I assume this way of thinking is kind of dangerous: Considering sex as an ordinary thing that should be done randomly with random people or someone we don't love... um, I mean such a thing doesn't make a person someone that much respectable (at least in my perspective).
     
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  12. Infidel.48

    Infidel.48 Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    No I consider sex not even required in the first place. It only brings degradation , so engaging in sex is only a waste of energy and it only drifts and breaks apart relationships . what I mean is sex is overrated . I am for celibacy not for having sex with strangers or even sex without the need to procreate
     
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  13. Melkhiresa

    Melkhiresa Fapstronaut

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    Try reading some actual studies on the benefits of sex instead of some book backed up by anecdotes and pseudo-science, what you wrote about breaking up relationships make no sense marriage and family are basically the only long lasting relationship that you will ever get, and sex is useful as a "bonding tool".
     
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  14. Infidel.48

    Infidel.48 Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Ok send them , look you don't need to read everything to understand stuff , personal experience is enough for me . After every single O , you feel like shit , energy levels go down , you become irritated , angry .
    Idc what most ppl think of this sex , for me its just like any other drug which gives you a high and then makes you feel like shit. The only difference is that its natural
    Ohh then why do people want to cheat isn't bonding with one person enough and why do half the marriages end up in divorce wans't the bonding effect not good enough?
     
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  15. Rosamund

    Rosamund Fapstronaut

    Dear friend, this judgment is not correct. It's like saying, "Well, because a lot of people lose their lives in road accidents, then driving is worthless."
    There are many reasons why people make mistakes, and I think the most important thing is not having enough skills to move forward in life together. Just because they fail in their relationship does not mean that marriage, family, and sex are useless and pointless.
     
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  16. Melkhiresa

    Melkhiresa Fapstronaut

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    Good authorities but no sources :
    https://www.ohsu.edu/womens-health/benefits-healthy-sex-life
    https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/316954
    More detailed :
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5052677/
    https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01677.x
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3150158/
    https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1948550615616462
    https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpubh.2019.00033/full
    https://www.ahajournals.org/doi/10.1161/CIR.0b013e3182447787
    https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-018-1193-8
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4449495/
    https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0301051105000736?via=ihub
    https://www.ijem.in/article.asp?iss...e=15;issue=7;spage=156;epage=161;aulast=Magon
    https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0079342

    All of these includes references for further reading but do not take my word for it, make sure to read them all.
     
  17. Infidel.48

    Infidel.48 Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I mean the probability of car accident is very low , you can't compare both of them.
    Anyway I get what you mean , well sex is pointless if you dont procreate but marriage and family are both essential aspects of society .
    Ok now that is going to take some time , ill make sure to read them
     
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  18. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

    I'm pleased to have found this thread, and that there are people who bear a similar philosophy to me.

    I'm in my early 20s and have not yet lost my virginity. I admit this is largely due to general problems I have had with attracting women, but I am nevertheless proud of it, because a lot of men are pressured into losing their virginity early by friends, parents or just society itself to avoid looking unattractive or gay, or are unable to muster the discipline to resist the urge to sleep with the first hot girl they meet, and I have succumbed to neither of these factors, because even through being blighted by PMO I have kept in mind what I want.

    I want to get into a sincere, long-term relationship with a girl who feels the same way, and I see marriage as a civilised formalisation of that commitment. I want to find a girl who, like me, has also preserved her virginity for the right person, because it shows that, like me, she is a civilised and respectable person who has the mental discipline to say 'no' to cheap sexual thrills and peer pressure, and that is the sort of girl I want to meet. I want to save lovemaking until after marriage, so that when we do commit ourselves by sacred vows, upon our wedding night we can give our virginities to one another in the equally-sacred bonding activity that is sex, so that we will always look upon the other as the first (and hopefully last) person we slept with for the rest of our lives.

    Even though most of the posters here swear by Christian values, I am a Pagan, yet I also abide by this worldview, because in my eye it is the only way to live a truly civilised lifestyle in this degenerate world of swingers, ever-more-scanty swimsuits and encouragement of instant gratification. I believe anyone of any religion and any background can follow the civilised path by saving their virginities until marriage to a person who feels the same way, and I wish you all the best of luck in your patient endeavours.
     
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  19. Rosamund

    Rosamund Fapstronaut

    Hi dear friend.

    I strongly encourage you to follow your path with strength and not be influenced by discouraging words. I hope you find someone who will be with you honestly and lovingly forever.
     
  20. black_coyote

    black_coyote Fapstronaut

    I'd like to mention that the type of O you are talking about it genital orgasm, the kind of orgasm we men experience after furious pumping and aggressive thrusting, to porn or inside women. For women, genital orgasm corresponds to ones achieved through compulsive masturbation and abuse of vibrators. It arises mostly of our own selfishness to quell the urge. And yes genital O makes us feel like crap and it makes us irritated, weak, angry.

    But, I'd like to speak to you about another orgasm called "Whole body orgasm", which for men, means orgasm without ejaculation. It is also called Male Multiple Orgasm. This kind of experience happens when the element of compulsion is eliminated and when lovemaking is performed as an offering from our heart. In here we make love lovingly, not with the intention to quell our urge. We focus on moment by moment of intimacy and communion. It is more about trust, vulnerability and dissolution of ego. In this kind of communion you complement, energize and heal each other.

    It can be a beautiful experience. I do not intend to disagree with your truth. You might be speaking from your experience, and I respect it.

    I write this in the hope of communicating to the readers that sex can be an enriching experience as well, not necessary a high-low drug phenomenon. In this regard, "Cupid's poison Arrow" by Marina Robinson is a very informative and insightful read for couple struggling with genital orgasm addiction.

    Cheers!
     
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