Relapsing many times after 7 years because of a woman.

jw加油！

 

She’s horrible to be with. Leave her immediately. She brought you down after you had a 7 years streak plus she’s a PMO addict herself it seems

definitely never PMO again.

Btw, was it 7 years without porn and masturbation and sex? Was it hard mode?

 

Did you tell her about nofap and p*rn effects? You deserve better if you did and she still decided to continue. God bless you man.

 

I don't consider a relapse she drugged you into this keep going and forget about her she his damaging you

 

I wont get into that if its cheating or not, instead I'd say whatever that is its not to your benefit. I'd consider that act even worse than porn itself. Why? because it enables you to interact and that spikes way more dopamine than regular porn.

She manipulated you for her benefit even though you probably told her you don't want that. That's abuse, not cheating.
She is selfish and not helping, red flag. Wanting long-distance relationship vs intimate, red flag. Watching porn and masturbating mutually another red flag. Not a good partner to be with.
With quality that nofap brings to your life, you can have way better girls than her.

Good decision.
Btw, considering your name I'd say you are an Iranian. Reach me in private if there is any help I can offer. Good luck

 

She didn’t make you do anything, how could she? She was hundreds of miles away. No one else is obligated to live by the rules you set for yourself, only you get to make those decisions. Cant do it? Then move on. At the end of they day you make your own decisions.

 

What a shit ass girlfriend. Time to blow her house up.

 

Why did you revive this nearly 3 year old thread? Question was asked & answered already, no need to dredge up bad blood.

 

Behnam,

Firstly - seven years is amazing. To some, that may seem like an unachievable impossibility - a pipe dream. You did that and that is awesome. You have the experience, strength and reality of that past experience to buttress you against future challenges. I would see this experience as an invite. This experience is shining light on a way you could develop even further growth. While having stopped porn is wonderful, the foundation upon which that stopping is set is even more important. This is a time to check your convictions. I would never, ever, ever, for any reason, be in a relationship with someone who thinks porn is okay. If they are compromised there, where else? You've been exposed to an ugly stained tip of an iceberg - what other potential harms may exist under the freezing water? You want to raise children with a woman who thinks like this? How would her actions, mannerisms, underlying philosophies and compromises infiltrate your family and directly or indirectly hurt your children? For me, I'm currently looking in to how one could push for the illegalization of porn. Porn is horrible and destructive. Quitting porn is about WAY MORE THAN THE USER'S SUFFERING AND SYMPTOMS. Porn is a disease of the culture. It is a new cold war. Do you think that, following the explosion of porn, our culture is dealing with unprecedented sexual confusion issues, mental health issues and the attack on the masculine identity? Porn is one part of a much larger evil organism.

That being said, this is call for you to sit down and really establish your convictions. Spend time alone reading, thinking and maybe even writing in the areas of philosophy and morality (I'm assuming you already have a solid grasp on the negative scientific aspects of porn use). Take this time to draw your lines, identify the enemies and forge those mental and moral weapons that, unfortunately, will be REQUIRED of everyone living in these times.

I'm not you, and I am not going to tell you how to think... and I don't want to inadvertently shortcut the route you need to walk as you take on these responsibilities that are yours and yours alone (as there is only one unique Behnam - you), but if it had been me, I would have said that's gotta go now. You work with me to remove that garbage from your life or we are done. This for me is an absolute non-negotiable. The massive scale of suffering that has been propagated porn makes this war-like. Some things in life you have to be militant about. It's not funny, it's not 'not a big deal.' It's an attack on humanity itself and the created order.

 

Relationships can have a huge impact on our lives, and sometimes they lead us down unexpected paths. I remember going through a similar experience a while back. It was tough dealing with the ups and downs, especially after investing so much time.

 

As the other's have already stated, this is a years old dead thread

For the sake of discussion though, I don't think this would be a relapse. He had a consenting sexual partner, and he tried to do something sexual with her that wasn't the norm(mutual masturbation). Not that we know 100%, but it seems like he went back to a life w/o doing PMO just like he had for 7 years. It's OK to do things with your partner that are different and go in not knowing the result. It's a normal part of relationships.

What really sucks is that afterwards she PMO'ed. It kind of struck me how rare that is, the sober man being hurt by the woman's use of PMO. There was honestly a part of me thinking "well it's not that bad when a woman does it", but that's hypocritical and just wrong. He had every right to be hurt, and what she did was just as harmful as when a man does it in a relationship. Funny how we have these biases, and can go on unaware until an example comes up for us to respond to.