When will voyeurism go away?

Porns affect on me has been detrimental to a period of time where I should be enjoying sex with woman who I find attractive. It has cost me a relationship, it has caused Very weak erections to ED. It has given me HOCD and caused me to question my sexuality. My mind turns everything into something sexual. One of the most horrible things it has also done is caused me to look at sex as a voyeur. It's like my brain has associated pleasure with me watching another dude screw a girl and not me actually partaking in the act. I can't really get aroused unless it's some other guy that's banging the girl and not me. I think because of this has caused me to question my sexuality as well. Like my brain has thought well maybe you just want to be the girl instead? And I get an anxiety fear based response that almost feels like arousal. Anybody experience this voyeurism and how long did it take for these feelings to go away. I am a month into my reboot hardmode