Masturbation In moderation vs Not masturbating at all.

I think masturbation in moderation is good. Every man does it in his lifetime and I think it's especially good when you need to relieve stress or sexual tension. And when I say moderation is once a week or once at two weeks. Not every damn day or multiple times a day for years like I did.

What is NOT GOOD is when you overdo it in combination with porn. Let's say you overdo it for a very long period of time, of course it will appear some problems. And another thing, it's pretty much impossible to stop masturbating permanently. I don't think you wanna become a tibetan monk.

I think the purpose of this forum and others like this is to stop the usage of porn, not masturbation.

 

If you're an addict, it obviously goes without saying that masturbation is something you should never do again in your life. Asking such questions is just your mind trying to cope with the fact that you'll never be able to masturbate in your life ever again. Don't get tricked by it, like the others who think that way, and still are asking themselves why their reboot isn't going well.

I hate false truisms like "every man does it in his lifetime" or "it's pretty much impossible". It's naive thinking. Surely, not everyone, even in their lifetime, does this shit. Surely, I will never masturbate in my life again. And there are PLENTY like me on this forum, so don't believe guys like the one above. You won't get far with such naivety and a lack of dedication.

Why do you need masturbation for? Relaxation? There are numerous other, more useful ways to relax, like sports, hobbies, meeting people. But grabbing your junk and shaking it until you feel better? Doesn't it sound pathetic? What does it develop? Sport develops your health and muscles, hobbies develop your skills, and meeting people develops your relationships, but masturbation? It might develop an addiction.

Don't be a sucker. You don't need something so pathetic in your life. Dedicate yourself or stay the way you are. It's not something impossible, it takes courage, but you're going to become a much better version of yourself afterwards. Believe me, an ex-addict and read success stories.

Cheers!

 

Good for you if you think like this and stopped masturbation permanently, but I hate this mentality. I thought this forum is to stop porn not masturbation and become a monk. But if this is what you want, go ahead. I want to stop using porn and masturbate much rarely because of my mental health and insecurities. But by simply quitting porn it will not resolve my problems, no, I need to improve myself entirely. I don't blame porn for all the bad things that happened in my life like others do. No, porn is a bad thing that amplified some of my problems and created others.

You call me pathetic because of my opinion? Well let me tell you something, you call the majority of men pathetic. There are a lot of people who masturbate and have a very good life and it doesn't affect them in any way. They are also pathetic? The big difference between us and them is that we are HEAVY users of porn. It became something hard to quit from our lives, that's why we are all here.

Do you think men or women didn't masturbate before the ,,invention'' of porn? I start to think many on this forum start to build a cult from this which is truly bad.

,,...don't believe guys like the one above...'' man, I said my opinion, you said yours. He can believe what he wants. It's his decision, not mine, not yours.

 

@Garou99 what @Roader to Freedom says is true. I do not say this to be mean or cruel. I am not angry or upset - but masturbation is what is driving the desire and the brain to use porn and for us to act out. its what is providing the dopeamine rush to continue on and act out. If you want to stop you can't use just a little, it will always bring you back to the edge. You have to stop. Alcoholics and Drug addicts can't use just a little - it's kinda of a all or nothing approach, either you do drugs and alcohol and suffer or you stop and eventually get better.
I wish you well on your journey.
Cheers
Jack

 

,,NoFap is not an anti-masturbation website. A clear majority of NoFap’s users and administrators alike agree that there’s nothing inherently wrong with masturbation. A small number of users may believe otherwise, perhaps due to their moral principles, but find NoFap’s broad-minded approach works better for them than the moralistic focus of “chastity” websites that dot the Internet. NoFap does not encourage lifelong abstinence from masturbation or sexual behavior. Rather, we encourage our users to abstain for a period of time for the duration of their reboots—typically around ninety days. While some abstain for longer periods of time—even for life—most of our users then return to masturbation having freed themselves of the need to use pornography. Our users choose what is healthiest for them and best serves their goals.,, From the description of this forum.

That's what I read when I joined here. Well, I was very wrong after all.

 

I went almost 100 days without any porn or masturbation. I have talked with professionals and other learned people. Masturbation in moderation is perfectly fine and healthy. I think that it's doing it to porn that harms us. I relapsed recently and am finding it very difficult to stay away from porn. I am going to find out how to masturbate without porn. I am positive I don't need that crap. I'm with you dude. You are not wrong, at least not to me. If some members here want to give up both and become monks, God be with them. I have no beef with their decision. I have learned that I and I alone decide what is best for me. Right now, I'm doing my own research and talking to people on both sides of this dilemma. Once I've done enough research, I will make the best decision for me. I highly encourage you to do the same. Good luck on your journey, Garou99.

 

@FoundTheFreedom for sure please weigh it out. It's not a matter of monk mode or not but wether to use our not use. But what questions do you have. I am interested in this topic also.
Thanks
Jack

 

For me it would be difficult to abstain from porn while continuing to masturbate in moderation.

I've had too many years of PMOing, so I can't separate the "P" from the "MO".

 

Don't take this to mean that masturbation helps with a "good life". That's a false equivalency. There are certainly many other factors involved with all these people and their "good lives".

On another note:

Masturbation has no existential value whatsoever. The only value that is brought about is in the psychological realm. This comes about due to societal influences. This compulsive society pushes such fleeting pleasurable activities. It is built into the society. It isn't good or bad. It just is.

There are tribes that don't even have a concept of masturbation. So, there is definitely no need for it to release stress. From what I gather in articles it is mainly due to a fear. There are so many factors that these articles don't care to address or even consider. This whole modern day consumerist society, in fact, is moved by fear which is closely tied to pleasure. Masturbation gets mixed in there somewhere.

To reiterate what was shared above, for someone who is a P addict, masturbation cannot be done in a "healthy manner" (assuming it is healthy). There is way too much connection within the brain to do this in a benign manner.

Lastly, yes, this is a no porn forum, not an anti-masturbation forum. However, there isn't anything about not sharing that masturbation isn't healthy. These folks whom spoke against masturbation see that it is not "healthy", especially for a P addict. It is not about being a monk; it is about seeing beyond the limitations of societal influences.

 

to each their own and masturbation can help with PE besides there are studies too numerous for me to refer you to, i am neither encouraging nor discouraging it's use but to say it is useless and pathetic just because it is useless and pathetic to you(and "MANY") is a bit narrow-minded.

easier in tribes to get a slave-bride than in "civilized" society.

same thing could be said of sex mate.

 

Ok, that's your opinion. I never said that masturbation will make you Bill Gates or with it will make your life 200% better. You put words in my mouth just to make your point visibly more vivid. And from what I see you take this to a conspiracy theory.

I accept it and I agree with one thing: that masturbation in the life of people who are heavy porn users is not healthy, yeah. But I don't talk about masturbation in the period you try to get rid of porn from your life, I talk about after this all mess is gone. And about the ,,articles''...ummmm...I read articles (from ,,good'' publications) where they said that porn reduces your penis size to half or porn will make you a rapist, murderer and pedophile etc. which is non-sense.

What tribes? Those isolated from modern society then kill every people that come near them. Those that force women to do some horrible things like cutting their fingers when their husband dies? Or when they don't want to do a ,,traditional'' thing they are killed or eaten? Yeah, it's a very good example. Let's be like them and all our problems will be resolved.

And another thing, for many years I used porn to release the stress accumulated over day (not from fear like you said), I knew I could do something else, but in that moments that's what I thought is the only option. And another reason that I do it is because of my insecurities. The thing that you can't distinguish masturbation from porn is partially true. When you are a heavy user of porn of course you can't, but what about the many guys that do it in moderation after quitting porn?

I expressed my opinion, without trying to convince the guy who made the topic that masturbation is the best thing in life. No, I just said what I think, but you are trying way to hard to convince. It's a waste of time trying to be reasonable with you.

I'm in a worst situation than you'll even be with porn, but yeah, what the hell do I know. I'm just a PATHETIC guy, like the other user said, a pussy because I've watched porn. But yeah, go ahead, do what you want. It's your life, your choice and I'm not here to convince anybody that a thing that existed for hundreds of years is now the most horrible thing that humankind has ever seen.

I even saw a post in the NoFap subreddit which made me laugh. They said that if porn didn't exist, we would be 200 years ahead of our time. This is the mentality of many here. That quitting porn will make you Superman and your life will magically change into good. Quitting porn is the first step to a better sexual and private life. It will not make you Brad Pitt.

This is my last answer, do what you want, think what you want.

 

I don't deny any studies. In fact, I think they wasted money on those studies, because obviously ejaculation is relaxing and gives some health advantages.

I'm not saying it's "useless and pathetic because it's useless and pathetic". I've given a logical reason: why choosing something like that over something much better? Refer all your studies about masturbation you want, but you can't deny that you can find thrice as many for positive aspects of each sports, hobbies and social interactions. One of their most crucial aspects is self-development. What can you develop through masturbation? One of the possibilities is an addiction, but what else? That was my main point. How's that narrow-minded?

 

In an ideal world, we would not be addicted to PMO, would be able to masturbate every once in a while and then have that be that, like the majority of people.

But we don't live in that world. I think for many of us adopting an all or nothing mentality is the only thing that works, and anything less than that is just delaying failure. I know from my own experience that no matter how hard I try, this ALWAYS happens when I try to apply moderation;

First I masturbate one or two times without porn. Then I get urges and rationalise watching porn this time. I wont jump into fetish stuff right away, but eventually my willpower will be spent and I'll binge. Then I have to start over. I imagine this rough timeline is what happens to many people.

 

I'm was not going to respond to you but there is something that you should be aware of with respect to this.

First, here is an article about the tribes, https://www.theatlantic.com/health/...bation-and-homosexuality-do-not-exist/265849/

And the more advanced societies don't kill each other? Have you heard of war? Don't you think these country boundaries are made because we still have that as part of our nature? No, we are no different than these tribes. We just polished up the outside. You can't possibly think that horrible things happening to women is isolated to these tribes. You exaggerated in order to make a point, which does not have much value in this context... Yeah, wives aren't beaten at all in these high societies (that was sarcasm). In fact porn (with all its glory) comes from these tribes, right? We are supposed to be above all these primal tendencies of these tribes, aren't we? At least that is what you are implying with this paragraph. We aren't above any tribes, we are just like them, we just polish up the outside to make ourselves feel better. We should be more like tribes, the only real difference anyway is that they don't need superfluous technologies just to live one more day.


Anyway, you can reach me somewhere else if you care to respond about this in particular, as this thread was intended for the problem of masturbation. Have a good day sir!

 

well put but as i said to each their own and the main advantage that masturbation has over most hobbies is that it's done in 2-30 min unless you overdo it and then if you are not an addict or shameful you feel relaxed, clear headed and focused.
Probably not something to point out to an addict though, but at the end of the day how much does masturbation really take up of your time? even if you spend an hour masturbating everyday that is not even 5% of your time(i am speaking of masturbation not pmo).

 

I go ALL DAY for no masturbation at all. Only this way you can unlock your real potential, in life and with women.

Masturbatiom in moderation is a compromise that really doens't give you much.

 

@Melkhiresa
[QUOTE="Melkhiresa, post: 3046637, member: 444168" same thing could be said of sex mate.[/QUOTE]
This is exactly true, but isn't this what we should be moving toward?

 

Well said, the essence behind the pornography problem is often the unsatisfactory personal life

 

Masturbation is a hellish sin. There is no moderate masturbation.