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110 Days and I'm Losing My Mind

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by DJTwoGuns, Jun 22, 2021.

  1. DJTwoGuns

    DJTwoGuns New Fapstronaut

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    Long time lurker, first time poster. Help! I'm 110 days into my reboot and I'm going crazy. The mood swings, the depression, and sleepless nights, feeling like I'm falling apart, and only a tiny bit of encouragement on the recovery front--"reactions" are starting to come back, but like an old car with a clogged carburetor, it stalls.

    45 year old male, started using porn heavily in my mid-20s, trying to get clean; I'm on blood pressure medication that may also be affecting things, but I'm 90% certain it's PIED, and please tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel I'm barely holding on here.

    And I can't go back. It's not like relapsing will end this. The equipment doesn't work anymore, there's no going back. It's through the storm one way or another but I need to know this gets better.

    ETA: I'm using Covenant Eyes and have two accountability watchers keeping an eye on my web activity.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2021
    Bluespace123 and Kung_fu_panda_ like this.
  2. PeaceOnEarth108

    PeaceOnEarth108 Fapstronaut

    Hi and welcome.
    Man 110 days and you still have withdrawal symptoms? I thought everything would be over after that long time
     
  3. capablex100

    capablex100 Fapstronaut

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    There is a light. I promise you. I was just telling someone else that I have reached 90 day streaks feeling absolutely no different and like none of this was worth it. Like NoFap is meaningless and doesn't work. But the reality is it takes so much longer than 90 days, 100 days, even a year. I know you may not want to hear that but we trained our brains to want this shite for so long (basically our whole lives) so it's going to take a long time to fix them. I know that sounds impossible but from personal experience I can tell you it isn't. It will get better, it does work. Just don't give up, especially after having come so far. Trust the process and yourself. Keep fighting.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2021
  4. DJTwoGuns

    DJTwoGuns New Fapstronaut

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  5. Lucid111

    Lucid111 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man! 110 days is amazing; relax, breath deeply, what’s the deal with the drama; withdrawal means you are healing; calm down, you are on the right track;
    as you went 110 days you can go 110 more if there’s need to;
    congratulations amd keep going
     
  6. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    Look into eastern practices (yoga, qigong, etc...) They will help you, they have helped me. The mind and body can be tuned at our own discretion. This is what these practices help with.

    Relax your muscles and feel the tension in your body go away. For minutes, multiple times a day, consciously slow down your breath, as a start.

    Sooner or later you will see that it is not all terrible. Keep yourself open to new possibilities!

    You can handle it and you can thrive! Best wishes!
     
  7. jt850

    jt850 Fapstronaut

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    Stress can be just as deadly to the body as acting poison swimming through your veins. Find something that can eliminate stress that you enjoy doing (besides PMO of course!). But 110 days is amazing and I'm super proud of you for making it so far. Like the brother above said, withdrawal means that you are healing and everyone's journey is different. Just because our journeys are different doesn't mean that we can't all heal from this disease. Keep fighting! Keep that motivation up! All love to you brother!
     
  8. DJTwoGuns

    DJTwoGuns New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, everybody. Today is better. My wife was gone for a couple of hours this afternoon, and I avoided using her laptop to look at porn. That's been the biggest stumbling block since adding Covenant Eyes to my devices 110 days ago. Big victory.
     
    Brazilian Guy and Christoph108 like this.

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